Talmanes's definitions
A phrase coined by Teresa Strasser of the Adam Carolla Show on Free FM which refers to social outings that would normally be considered dates, but where one of the two people involved seems completely oblivious to the concept of dating. This is generally characterized by a lack of interest in conversation or flirting, an aimless absence of direction or goals for the evening, and possibly an uncomfortable revelation that the event was never intended to be date. This can be blamed on the modern tendency for self-absorption and a narcissistic belief that you shouldn't have to put forth any effort to be interesting or even pleasant.
I ended up going on a vague date with Jim. We went and saw a stupid buddy comedy and ate at Starbucks, but he split when he got a phone call from a friend to play basketball.
I don't even know if the date I was on with Nancy was a date, because she kept talking to me about how great it was to be single. I think it was some weird vague date.
I don't even know if the date I was on with Nancy was a date, because she kept talking to me about how great it was to be single. I think it was some weird vague date.
by Talmanes May 30, 2007
Get the vague datemug. Flatulence which loosens the bowels enough to void an amount of fecal matter, be it just a bit or an entire load. In other words, when you mean to fart and accidentally shit yourself.
Aww, man... I just let a hard fart go, and now I've got to throw out my new underwear!
You should check your drawers, man. That sounded like a hard fart to me.
You should check your drawers, man. That sounded like a hard fart to me.
by Talmanes November 17, 2005
Get the hard fartmug. Someone who gives every appearance of being homosexual, but is in fact heterosexual. A fauxmosexual male may display metrosexual attention to hygiene, style, and culture, have an effeminate speech pattern or display effeminate behavoir in gesticulation and mannerism, and/or give the basic impression of being gay. A faumosexual female may be fairly butch in appearance and style, display a militant feminist ("feminazi") attitude toward men, or show strong proclivities toward Lilith Fair or other female empowerment. These are the people you "just know" are gay, but who seem to show proof to the contrary.
People say that Tom Cruise is gay, but I think he's just a fauxmosexual.
I work with this guy who wears nuthugger jeans and talks with a total San Fran lisp, but apparently he's not actually a fag; he's just a fauxmosexual.
I totally thought Liz was a dyke because of her shaved head and leather, but I met her boyfriend yesterday. Talk about textbook fauxmosexual.
I work with this guy who wears nuthugger jeans and talks with a total San Fran lisp, but apparently he's not actually a fag; he's just a fauxmosexual.
I totally thought Liz was a dyke because of her shaved head and leather, but I met her boyfriend yesterday. Talk about textbook fauxmosexual.
by Talmanes December 26, 2005
Get the fauxmosexualmug. 1, n. Slang term for the head, specifically the top of the head when used in a headbutt. Obviously, it refers to the idea that if you punch with your knuckles, a headbutt uses one big knuckle.
2, v. To headbutt someone, aka "give 'em the big knuckle."
2, v. To headbutt someone, aka "give 'em the big knuckle."
Did you see that? Zinedine Zidane just gave that dude the big knuckle!
Ooh, right to the face with the big knuckle! Looks like his skull knocked out a few of his opponent's teeth!
Good answer--that's using the big knuckle.
Ooh, right to the face with the big knuckle! Looks like his skull knocked out a few of his opponent's teeth!
Good answer--that's using the big knuckle.
by Talmanes December 25, 2006
Get the big knucklemug. The words "Dude, I'll kill you" all slurred together without pause, often muttered under one's breath to a friend who is about to either say or do something stupid that will result in negative repercussions to you. More a warning than an actual threat.
Dudeillkillyou. I know what you're about to say about me sleeping with his sister.
Put down the water balloon. Dudeillkillyou.
Put down the water balloon. Dudeillkillyou.
by Talmanes December 3, 2006
Get the dudeillkillyoumug. (noun, plural) Balls, testicles, nuts. A popular term in Cockney rhyming slang. Taken from Jacobs crackers, a cracker manufacturer, it rhymes with knackers, which is itself a popular British slang term for balls. Used to great effect by Brick Top in the Guy Ritchie film "Snatch."
If I throw a dog a bone, I don't want to know if it tastes good or not. And if you ever interrupt me whilst I'm walking, I'll cut your fucking jacobs off!
by Talmanes December 3, 2005
Get the jacobsmug. A phrase taken from a popular joke. To say someone is "in the barrel" or "taking a turn in the barrel" means it's their turn to do an unpleasant task or to suffer an unpleasant experience. The joke is as follows:
A sailor on a Navy ship had been out to sea for weeks, and was beginning to go through sex withdrawals. Fed up with the lack of sex, he asked one of his shipmates what he did when the pressure was too much to take.
"Well, there's a barrel with a hole in it near the mop storage. When it gets to be too much for us, we use that."
So the sailor went over to the barrel and decided to give it a go. Finding it was better than he'd expected, he began using it regularly, and his problems seemed to vanish.
After a couple of weeks, his commanding officer began to take notice, and said, "You seem to be a lot more relaxed. What's your secret?"
The sailor, embarrassed to give a straight answer, simply said he'd been getting better rest.
"Well good, sailor. You're going to need it," replied the officer. "Today's your turn in the barrel."
"Well, there's a barrel with a hole in it near the mop storage. When it gets to be too much for us, we use that."
So the sailor went over to the barrel and decided to give it a go. Finding it was better than he'd expected, he began using it regularly, and his problems seemed to vanish.
After a couple of weeks, his commanding officer began to take notice, and said, "You seem to be a lot more relaxed. What's your secret?"
The sailor, embarrassed to give a straight answer, simply said he'd been getting better rest.
"Well good, sailor. You're going to need it," replied the officer. "Today's your turn in the barrel."
by Talmanes December 10, 2004
Get the in the barrelmug.