Talmanes's definitions

snap fart

A particular type of flatulence wherein the fart produces a short, sharp snap or pop and nothing more, as opposed to a long, drawn out tone or a raspberry.

I leaned back in my chair and accidentally let a snap fart go at the office, but I don't think anyone noticed.

I was walking behind this guy and he totally snap farted and tried to play it off as a cough.

by Talmanes December 3, 2006

first basing

The verb form of first base (which means French kissing or making out), "first basing" someone is kissing them passionately or making out with them. Used to great effect by Strong Sad of Homestar Runner fame when speaking to his brother Strong Bad, spied kissing a piece of paper.

Uh, Strong Bad, were you just first basing it with that piece of loose leaf?

I went to go ask my brother a question and caught him totally first basing his study buddy.

I was so drunk last week that I ended up first basing my friend's girl.

by Talmanes June 2, 2007

petarded

A portmanteauof "retarded" and "petard," it describes a plan backfiring on you in such a way that you are left looking utterly ridiculous. It combines the concept of retarded--which is to say mentally deficient--and the phrase "hoisted by your own petard," which means to have damage done to you by the means you had intended to employ to damage others. A petard is an explosive used to break down barricades in warfare, and so petarded can also mean "blown up," in some circumstances.

You ratted Dan out for stealing that camera, but in doing so proved that you were his accomplice? Dude, you're petarded.

Jim just petarded the front door trying to take out his ex, but the door blew up and a shard of it went through his windshield. Totally petarded.

by Talmanes December 3, 2006

blow career

A phrase used to describe the actions of someone who gives copious amounts of oral sex, well above what most people would consider an average amount for a sexually active person. As job is to career, so blow job is to blow career--someone who gives "blow careers" has almost taken oral sex to an extreme level, pursuing it as if there's some sort of reward in the afterlife for people who give that much head.

Man, Suzie went down on the entire football team at the party last week. That girl doesn't just give blow jobs--she's got a blow career!

I thought my last girlfriend was good about oral, but this girl I'm seeing now comes out of nowhere with it sometimes. I get head two, three times a day without asking, like it's her blow career.

Dude, I feel sorry for Tyrone. His ass went to prison and bitched out, and now he's got himself a blow career on the inside.

by Talmanes December 3, 2006

sinfulicious

An adjective used to describe something that is simultaneously fantastic and evil or terrible, such as drinking a beer someone was saving for themselves, driving someone else's nice car without permission, or sleeping with someone who's cheating on their boyfriend/girlfriend. In other words, a good thing made better by it being forbidden, but which also causes a bit of guilt.

I promised myself I'd stick to my diet, but I ended up eating some of that cheesecake anyway, and it was sinfulicious.

Man, that married chick is so hot, it's sinfulicious to be watching her like this.

I stole these sunglasses from my brother. They're awesome, but he's pissed. Totally sinfulicious.

by Talmanes November 30, 2005

not hetero

Phrase used to describe something which is not heterosexual, it would literally be applied toward homosexuality. It is, however, more often applied pejoratively to negative situations, being used in place of gay when saying that something is lame or stupid.

Dude, you ate all of my donuts? That is so not hetero.

Seriously, guys, you need to stop talking about how often you watch America's Next Top Model. It's not hetero.

When Jess and Steve sit together on the bench with their arms around each other, I want to say it's seriously not hetero, but I know they're straight.

by Talmanes December 3, 2006

wiffli

Acronym for "when I fucking feel like it." Useful as a catch-all answer for when you're going to get something done.

Boss: When are those floors gonna get swept?
Employee: Wiffli.

A: When are we going to the store tomorrow, anyway?
B: Probably wiffli and not before.

I'll get to it wiffli, man. Don't get all bent out of shape.

by Talmanes November 17, 2007