Talmanes's definitions

petarded

A portmanteauof "retarded" and "petard," it describes a plan backfiring on you in such a way that you are left looking utterly ridiculous. It combines the concept of retarded--which is to say mentally deficient--and the phrase "hoisted by your own petard," which means to have damage done to you by the means you had intended to employ to damage others. A petard is an explosive used to break down barricades in warfare, and so petarded can also mean "blown up," in some circumstances.

You ratted Dan out for stealing that camera, but in doing so proved that you were his accomplice? Dude, you're petarded.

Jim just petarded the front door trying to take out his ex, but the door blew up and a shard of it went through his windshield. Totally petarded.

by Talmanes December 3, 2006

twink

In tabletop or online RP settings, a twink (often also referred to as a munchkin in tabletop settings) is someone who has min-maxed their character to emphasize a single set of game stats rather than creating a well-rounded character. While these characters are most often geared toward combat, there are a variety of twinks, often differentiated by an accompanying title, such as combat twink, TS twink/cybersex twink, social twink, gear twink, or others.

This seems the most likely origin for the MMORPG version of the term, since tabletop and online RPGs were the precursors to games like World of Warcraft, and the definitions share similarities.

So he put all of his points into Strength and Constitution, and put his lowest into Wisdom and Charisma, huh? Sounds like he's rolling up another combat twink.

Dena is such a total TS twink. I swear, her stats are always geared toward making her character attractive so she can cyber other players.

Damn it, there are too many social twinks on this game. The second I think I'm going to have some interesting interaction with someone, they start rolling to forcibly manipulate my character.

by Talmanes April 29, 2008

pleaseme

A cliche phrase or saying that is rarely ever used in conversational English, but appears in bad prose, film, and television. Originated with the phrase, "I want to please you," usually said in terrible b-movies by a female attempting to engage a male in sex. The term is usually used in the pejorative, to mock or insult someone's speech or writing.

"You're all wet."
"Man, that is such a pleaseme."

"I could buy and sell you!"
"Could you try using an insult that wasn't such a pleaseme?"

"Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?"
"I guess, but that was a total pleaseme."

by Talmanes November 10, 2005

You're dude to me

An adjustment to the expression "You're dead to me," which implies that the target may as well be dead in the speaker's eyes, "You're dude to me" is a statement generally made by men to platonic female friends that the speaker no longer sees as women (and therefore objects of lust). Said mostly in jest or in protest to accusations of hitting on said female friends.

Jamie, I would never grab your ass. You're dude to me.

Oh, that is just disgusting -- look at those hairy pits! You're totally dude to me now!

Girl: Do you think I'm hot?
Guy: You're attractive, but you're dude to me.

by Talmanes April 5, 2007

placedrop

(v) To reference a place you've been during a conversation, whether or not it is appropriate, for the purpose of pointing out you've been there. Similar to namedropping, save that the object is to point out that you've been somewhere, not that you were with someone.

Person 1: I'm trying to lay off hard alcohol for a while.
Person 2: Oh, me, too -- ever since I was in Cabo last month, I've been watching what I drink.
Person 3: Way to placedrop Cabo in the conversation.

I like Sean, but he's constantly placedropping Chicago, like he's so cool for having gone there on vacation.

It was about halfway through the conversation that I realized I'd placedropped London six times, not even meaning to bring up my summer there.

by Talmanes June 9, 2008

RETARDED

n., obviously meaning retarded. Pronounced letter-by-letter (AR-EE-TEE-AY-AR-EE-TEE-DEE), it is a play on the acronyms ADD and ADHD, used in situations where someone claims Attention Defecit Disorder or Attention Defecit Hyperactivity Disorder as the cause of their idiotic behavior.

A: Sorry about that, man. I've got ADD.
B: You sure that's not RETARDED?

I was acting like such an ass that I thought I might have ADHD, but no; turns out it's just RETARDED.

Hey, I really am taking meds for ADD, so don't say I have RETARDED! I'm not retarded!

by Talmanes December 26, 2006

Sailor Porn

A specific style of porn -- almost always existing as stag films and isolated porn clips -- that begins as a gangbang of multiple men and one woman, but eventually phases out the woman's role and devolves into male gay porn. The term "sailor porn" is used as a descriptor because of the perception that a large number of men in the Navy are homosexual.

I once found this old porn tape at my uncle's, and it had these four guys fucking one girl, but then the girl was gone and it went on with just the guys for like, twenty minutes. I asked my friend about it years later, and he said, "Oh, that was sailor porn!"

Man, this place is such a sausage fest. I don't even want to hit on the one hot chick here because I'm worried this'll turn into some serious sailor porn after too much vodka

by Talmanes November 7, 2010