Talmanes's definitions

blow career

A phrase used to describe the actions of someone who gives copious amounts of oral sex, well above what most people would consider an average amount for a sexually active person. As job is to career, so blow job is to blow career--someone who gives "blow careers" has almost taken oral sex to an extreme level, pursuing it as if there's some sort of reward in the afterlife for people who give that much head.

Man, Suzie went down on the entire football team at the party last week. That girl doesn't just give blow jobs--she's got a blow career!

I thought my last girlfriend was good about oral, but this girl I'm seeing now comes out of nowhere with it sometimes. I get head two, three times a day without asking, like it's her blow career.

Dude, I feel sorry for Tyrone. His ass went to prison and bitched out, and now he's got himself a blow career on the inside.

by Talmanes December 3, 2006

petarded

A portmanteauof "retarded" and "petard," it describes a plan backfiring on you in such a way that you are left looking utterly ridiculous. It combines the concept of retarded--which is to say mentally deficient--and the phrase "hoisted by your own petard," which means to have damage done to you by the means you had intended to employ to damage others. A petard is an explosive used to break down barricades in warfare, and so petarded can also mean "blown up," in some circumstances.

You ratted Dan out for stealing that camera, but in doing so proved that you were his accomplice? Dude, you're petarded.

Jim just petarded the front door trying to take out his ex, but the door blew up and a shard of it went through his windshield. Totally petarded.

by Talmanes December 3, 2006

twink

In tabletop or online RP settings, a twink (often also referred to as a munchkin in tabletop settings) is someone who has min-maxed their character to emphasize a single set of game stats rather than creating a well-rounded character. While these characters are most often geared toward combat, there are a variety of twinks, often differentiated by an accompanying title, such as combat twink, TS twink/cybersex twink, social twink, gear twink, or others.

This seems the most likely origin for the MMORPG version of the term, since tabletop and online RPGs were the precursors to games like World of Warcraft, and the definitions share similarities.

So he put all of his points into Strength and Constitution, and put his lowest into Wisdom and Charisma, huh? Sounds like he's rolling up another combat twink.

Dena is such a total TS twink. I swear, her stats are always geared toward making her character attractive so she can cyber other players.

Damn it, there are too many social twinks on this game. The second I think I'm going to have some interesting interaction with someone, they start rolling to forcibly manipulate my character.

by Talmanes April 29, 2008

pleaseme

A cliche phrase or saying that is rarely ever used in conversational English, but appears in bad prose, film, and television. Originated with the phrase, "I want to please you," usually said in terrible b-movies by a female attempting to engage a male in sex. The term is usually used in the pejorative, to mock or insult someone's speech or writing.

"You're all wet."
"Man, that is such a pleaseme."

"I could buy and sell you!"
"Could you try using an insult that wasn't such a pleaseme?"

"Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?"
"I guess, but that was a total pleaseme."

by Talmanes November 10, 2005

sinfulicious

An adjective used to describe something that is simultaneously fantastic and evil or terrible, such as drinking a beer someone was saving for themselves, driving someone else's nice car without permission, or sleeping with someone who's cheating on their boyfriend/girlfriend. In other words, a good thing made better by it being forbidden, but which also causes a bit of guilt.

I promised myself I'd stick to my diet, but I ended up eating some of that cheesecake anyway, and it was sinfulicious.

Man, that married chick is so hot, it's sinfulicious to be watching her like this.

I stole these sunglasses from my brother. They're awesome, but he's pissed. Totally sinfulicious.

by Talmanes November 30, 2005

not hetero

Phrase used to describe something which is not heterosexual, it would literally be applied toward homosexuality. It is, however, more often applied pejoratively to negative situations, being used in place of gay when saying that something is lame or stupid.

Dude, you ate all of my donuts? That is so not hetero.

Seriously, guys, you need to stop talking about how often you watch America's Next Top Model. It's not hetero.

When Jess and Steve sit together on the bench with their arms around each other, I want to say it's seriously not hetero, but I know they're straight.

by Talmanes December 3, 2006

You're dude to me

An adjustment to the expression "You're dead to me," which implies that the target may as well be dead in the speaker's eyes, "You're dude to me" is a statement generally made by men to platonic female friends that the speaker no longer sees as women (and therefore objects of lust). Said mostly in jest or in protest to accusations of hitting on said female friends.

Jamie, I would never grab your ass. You're dude to me.

Oh, that is just disgusting -- look at those hairy pits! You're totally dude to me now!

Girl: Do you think I'm hot?
Guy: You're attractive, but you're dude to me.

by Talmanes April 5, 2007