Talmanes's definitions

blow career

A phrase used to describe the actions of someone who gives copious amounts of oral sex, well above what most people would consider an average amount for a sexually active person. As job is to career, so blow job is to blow career--someone who gives "blow careers" has almost taken oral sex to an extreme level, pursuing it as if there's some sort of reward in the afterlife for people who give that much head.

Man, Suzie went down on the entire football team at the party last week. That girl doesn't just give blow jobs--she's got a blow career!

I thought my last girlfriend was good about oral, but this girl I'm seeing now comes out of nowhere with it sometimes. I get head two, three times a day without asking, like it's her blow career.

Dude, I feel sorry for Tyrone. His ass went to prison and bitched out, and now he's got himself a blow career on the inside.

by Talmanes December 3, 2006

dunderstand

(v) To believe you have great insight or comprehension of a word, concept, or situation but to be entirely wrong about it (i.e., eisegesis). Portmanteau of "dunder" and "understand".

He thinks golden showers are all about gold coins. That's some serious dunderstanding.

by Talmanes December 22, 2013

belly block

An action taken by rotund men and women wherein a dropped item is bounced off of a protruding gut rather than caught or allowed to hit the floor. This is often done with food, but can be done with any item dropped above the abdomen. When performed from a seated position, this maneuver is almost always effective, though it may have unfortunate side-effects (such as getting condiments on clothing).

I was taking my vitamins earlier and dropped one, but I totally belly blocked it onto the table.

That dude totally just belly blocked that hacky sack back into play.

by Talmanes December 13, 2006

You're dude to me

An adjustment to the expression "You're dead to me," which implies that the target may as well be dead in the speaker's eyes, "You're dude to me" is a statement generally made by men to platonic female friends that the speaker no longer sees as women (and therefore objects of lust). Said mostly in jest or in protest to accusations of hitting on said female friends.

Jamie, I would never grab your ass. You're dude to me.

Oh, that is just disgusting -- look at those hairy pits! You're totally dude to me now!

Girl: Do you think I'm hot?
Guy: You're attractive, but you're dude to me.

by Talmanes April 5, 2007

hard fart

Flatulence which loosens the bowels enough to void an amount of fecal matter, be it just a bit or an entire load. In other words, when you mean to fart and accidentally shit yourself.

Aww, man... I just let a hard fart go, and now I've got to throw out my new underwear!

You should check your drawers, man. That sounded like a hard fart to me.

by Talmanes November 17, 2005

sexpectation

The state of anticipating or expecting sexual intercourse from a social encounter, be it a date, a party, or a booty call. It describes a period of optimistic waiting that is just shy of a sure thing.

A: Girl, you gonna give him some?
B: I don't know, but he's sexpecting.

On the ride home from that date, the sexpectation was killing me!

Just because you sexpect something doesn't mean you're getting it.

by Talmanes November 17, 2005

wiffli

Acronym for "when I fucking feel like it." Useful as a catch-all answer for when you're going to get something done.

Boss: When are those floors gonna get swept?
Employee: Wiffli.

A: When are we going to the store tomorrow, anyway?
B: Probably wiffli and not before.

I'll get to it wiffli, man. Don't get all bent out of shape.

by Talmanes November 17, 2007