westfalia's definitions

flap happy

A person that loves having their face stuck up in a girl's meat curtains.

Duder 1: "So how was it with that asian girl last night?"

Duder 2: "Oh dude she had the stretchiest meat curtains I've ever seen. My face was all up in there for like an hour. I was so flap happy."

Duder 1: "You one sick mother, doggy."

by westfalia December 15, 2009

ghost paranoia

A condition in which a person is convinced that there is a ghost in his or her house. A person suffering from ghost paranoia will often tell you many different stories in which they have seen a ghost in their house and/or seen a ghost doing things with physical objects in their house.

Duder 1: "No for real. I came home one day and my beagle was on top of that fucking ledge. Way up there. I mean, how did he get up there? He can't jump that high."

Duder 2: "Yeah right dude."

Duder 1: "Oh and I saw her one night at the foot of my bed, she was all white and wouldn't take her eyes off me. I just hid under the covers til she went away. Oh and look at this window. Her hand print is still there!"

Duder 3: "Oh my God dude, there's no hand print. You've got ghost paranoia like a son of a bitch. How do you sleep alone at night?"

by westfalia January 26, 2010

jerk smirk

The look a guy gets on his face while masturbating. Most males get a jerk smirk on their face because of the uncontrollable pleasure they are feeling. A jerk smirk can last for several minutes after a guy ejaculates.

Duder 1: "Hurry up in there dude, I gotta trim my bush."

Duder 2: (comes out of bathroom) "Sorry dude, it's all yours."

Duder 1: "What the hell is that jerk smirk on your face for? Awww dude if I step on any of your nasty ass cum..."

by westfalia December 29, 2009

sing-n-smack

A move where one person is singing, but gets interrupted by another person hitting them over the head with something.

Duder: "Thanks for inviting me over for dinner. I've never known an Italian guy before. Can you sing me a song?"

Italian: "When-a the moon-a hits-a your eye, like a big-a" (smack!) "owww!!!"

Italian's Mom: "You shut up-a you!"

Italian: "Damn mom you hit over the head with a book! What the hell was that for?"

Duder: "Whoa dude! I've never seen a funnier sing-n-smack in my entire life."

by westfalia January 12, 2010

available ass

The only girl that is in a guy's league. Most available ass is nasty and only snatched up by foreign kids that can't get with the hotter, more popular girls.

Duder 1: "Whoa check out Italian homeboy with that big Samoan girl!"

Duder 2: "Wow! She stinks dude. And she's like a foot taller than him."

Duder 1: "He's gotta take that. That's his only available ass!"

by westfalia January 11, 2010

tardy circumcision

The removal of a male's foreskin at a very late time in his life. Most common late circumcisions occur when a foreign male comes to the US in his teens and wants to be circumsized to fit in with all the other dudes.

Duder: "What's going on man? How was your weekend?"

Foreigner: "Oh man you won't believe this. I got circumsized."

Duder: "Say what!?! Dude you're 14! Didn't that shit hurt?"

Foreigner: "Yea man, you have no idea. It is still killing me."

Duder: "That is one tardy circumcision for sure!"

by westfalia January 4, 2010

awkward dad moment

When a person's father says something inappropriate or uncomfortable in front of their child. This most commonly happens in front of the child's friends when they are a teenager or grown-up.

Dad: "So, anyway I found out she likes it when I shoot it on her face. It happened on accident of course, but it ended up being a good thing."

Kid 1: "Sick dad! That's my mom! What an awkward dad moment."

Kid 2: "Whoa dude your dad is a freak!"

by westfalia December 17, 2009