QuacksO's definitions

Klondike bar floozie

Not to be confused with a bar floozie (a "loose" female who hangs around a bar waiting for some hot young stud to pick her up), this term refers to an equally "loose" gal with such a sweet tooth that she is NEVER "ashamed of what she done for a Klondike bar".

A Klondike bar floozie seldom has to buy her own ice cream sandwiches during the summertime; she just hangs around the supermarket parking lot and watches for hot young hunks who are heading to their vehicles with bulging shopping bags full of Klondike bars, and then hurries over and offers them a little touchy-feely/nookie-wookie in exchange for one of the scrumptious frozen treats.

by QuacksO September 16, 2014

C.P.R.

Coughing Poop Release. Refers to a self-administered emergency technique when unable to poop normally; somewhat similar to the Heimlich maneuver, it involves coughing vigorously to dislodge and eject the organic object clogging the bodily orifice.

I was mildly constipated, so I used C.P.R. to help me eliminate.

by QuacksO October 13, 2014

chiropractice

What a medical student does when learning to manipulate limbs and joints. Often difficult to accomplish, because nobody wants to be a "guinea pig" and entrust his delicate tendons and ligaments to an eager-but-inexperienced "greenhorn".

My macho buddy wants to try cracking his friends' shoulders and necks for chiropractice... count me out!

by QuacksO October 13, 2014

trojan horse

A girl who only lets a guy "ride" her if he wears protection (i.e., a "Trojan" condom).

Stud #1: Wooo-hoooo... that Tiffany is totally smokin' hot! How come she doesn't have more guys after her?

Stud #2: Oh --- she's one of those trojan horses, and most guys prefer gals who will "just do it" anytime and anywhere.

by QuacksO January 10, 2015

saddle-soap

A hunorous term for personal lubricant --- a warming and/or soothing slippery liquid/gel that is applied to the "contact areas" prior to intercourse, so that both the guy and the gal get a more comfy "ride".

Hottie #1: Yo! Why the groaning and crossed legs, Girl?
Hottie #2: Oh, it's just my new boyfriend, hunny --- he's so "big" and enthusiastic that I always feel sore "down there" for a while after we "do it".
Hottie #1: Aw, major bummer, sweetie --- you guys shoulda used saddle-soap!

by QuacksO January 10, 2015

Preparation H

Recipe from Hell. Refers to any concoction or mixture of two or more substances (a home-made remedy, restaurant offering, bartender creation, etc) that almost nobody can stand; this unappealing product can seem even more repulsive if there are one or two weirdos who actually enjoy or support the existence of the horrid cocktail.

I don't know how that bewhiskered snake-oil hippie is actually still selling all of that Preparation H he's hawking --- I'd have to be insane to even take a whiff of that disgusting goo!

by QuacksO January 13, 2015

arsenist

Denotes someone who verbally "lights a fire under people" to try and persuade them to give him some ass, either literally or figuratively (i.e., he may not literally ask for sexual favors, but he will request something "equally momentous" that far exceeds what he could reasonably expect under the circumstances). This intense and persistent pressuring could include attempted bribery, laying a guilt trip on the person, offering to forgive a debt/obligation that the potential provider owes him, refusing to provide much-needed assistance unless the person "submits his cheeks", etc.

Motorist who has slid into a ditch: I would rather pay a tow truck than call Harry for help --- he's such an awful arsenist!

by QuacksO January 13, 2015