QuacksO's definitions

oilternative energy

Non-petroleum fuel that still benefits Big Oil.

X-on is all in support of powering vehicles with oilternative energy sources; that doesn't leave many cost-effective options, though. Solar and electric are too cheap and long-lasting to allow for the windfall profits that Big Biz wants.

by QuacksO May 31, 2018

cree-dentials

Da qualifications of a Native-American.

Lewis and Clark didn't need to bother asking their Native guides for their cree-dentials, since anyone whom they hired was from their own area, and so they were all familiar with what the explorers would likely encounter in that particular region.

by QuacksO June 10, 2020

church (h)usher

A Sunday-services attendant whose purported task is merely to see to da needs of da parishioners, but whose real job is to quell noisy stir-crazy children who would much rather be playing outside in da fresh air and sunshine, rather than being compelled to sit still and keep quiet inside a stuffy musty meeting-hall for two hours.

If churches would offer more-generous helpings of ice cream and/or an erectory as incentives to attend their boring sawdusty-dry sermons, there would likely be less need for church (h)ushers to be on hand to deal with crankily-impatient youngsters and teenage boys.

by QuacksO January 30, 2023

genieologist

Someone who obsessively collects antique glass bottles in the hope that there may be a genie in one of them.

Guy #1: Zheesh, dude, look at all those colored glass bottles sitting in the windows of that old fart's mansion. Must be a thousand of them!
Guy #2: Yeah, bud; weird, huh? Must be a genieologist.

by QuacksO February 23, 2012

contradicktory

Where you are told dat a dude either will be polite to you or is not interested in "proceeding to fourth base", but his actual obnoxious behavior and/or da huge bulge in da front of his shorts clearly shows otherwise!

Slick Willie sure made a lotta contradicktory statements during his sexual-misconduct hearings and impeachment-trial testimony!

by QuacksO February 13, 2020

Yom Kipper

A mid-Autumn religious holiday in which followers partake of tasty smoked-fish fillets.

I always love visiting my Orthodox Hebrew friends during Yom Kipper, since they always share their traditional scrumptious dried-fish meals with me.

by QuacksO July 11, 2018

introdiction

Using eloquently-learned words when telling Person A da name and occupation/position of Person B.

One should always make a great introdiction when acquainting two "important" individuals with each other.

by QuacksO October 6, 2024