earpuller's definitions

pushing water uphill

a descriptive phrase for attempting any hopeless task. If you've ever tried to push water uphill you'll understand the concept.

literal-Part of my job involves clearing water from the floor of my work station. Because the floor is pitched away from the drain, it takes an inordinate amount of time to clear the water, because I'm always pushing it uphill.
figurative-Asking your boss for a raise in these times of tight money makes as much sense as pushing water uphill.

by earpuller January 19, 2006

dilligas

an amusing acronym disguised as a silly word. Dilligas stands for "do I look like I give a shit?" You can say it to your parents, your kid sister, your maiden aunt, really anyone who is annoying you, but whom you do not want to anger.

eddie: So anyway, as I was saying, to make a long story short, in other words, as God as my witness, between you, me, and the fencepost..................
freddie: hey man, dilligas?
eddie: what's that supposed to mean?
freddie: do i look like I give a shit?
eddie walks away angrily, muttering to himself.
freddie smiles, thanking his good fortune at discovering UD.

by earpuller April 15, 2006

on-ramp blocking

the practice of preventing a driver from safely merging onto a freeway or other high-speed roadway. this is accomplished by the blocking car driving at the same speed as the merging car, and directly slongside. this action usually causes the merging driver to back off and merge behind the blocker; sometimes, though, the two cars collide because neither one gives way. often associated with NASCAR fans on public roads, on-ramp blocking is also common in major metropolitan areas.

jed: man, i couldn't believe it!! i was trying to get on the freeway, but some clown in a hyundai accent decided to ride alongside of me until we almost crashed at the entrance. what a jag-off!
ned: yeah, too many people commit random acts of on-ramp blocking these days. i'll take the back roads and avoid trouble.

by earpuller July 2, 2006

off-ramp blocking

the practice of some drivers that prevents others from changing lanes to exit a freeway or other high-speed roadway. the blocker is between the car exiting and the actual exit, and must be travelling in the lane furthest right (in left-hand-drive countries only,) and going at the same speed as the exiting car. this action can cause massive amounts of road rage because often drivers take extreme measures to maintain their position or to get off the road. the blocked driver must usually take the next exit, which is no problem in big cities. when out in the middle of nowhere, however, the next exit may be many miles ahead, increasing the feelings of road rage. note: if the exiting driver is trying to get off from the far left lane, he is a dumbass and should have his license revoked. in this case off-ramp blocking has not occured.

bonnie: these people are so rude here!! i was trying to change lanes so i could get off at 76th street, but some dumbass in a kia spectra stayed alongside of me for miles! i couldn't get off until national avenue!! what a bastard!!
connie: yeah, it's a real problem on the new bypass. lonnie calls it off-ramp blocking, but i call it sheer stupidity.
lonnie: you betcher ass, ladies!!

by earpuller July 2, 2006

lane blocking

the practice of preventing another driver from changing lanes. specifically, when a driver wants to change lanes while through-travelling, but finds himself stuck behind slower traffic, he may wish to pass the other vehicle. a lane blocker, however, will find a way to keep the passing driver stuck in postition, making it impossible for the passing driver to get around safely. usually this is a passive action, as opposed to on-ramp blocking or offramp blocking; often the offending driver is unaware of the faster car wanting to go past (often because the offender is talking on a cell phone.)

eric: come on man, just pass this truck! we're going to be late for the concert!
derrick: i can't pass him! the damned avalon in front of us is lane blocking me!
eric: flash your high-beams to get his attention!
derrick: i tried, but he's talking on his cell phone! must be more important than driving safely.
eric: what a dumbass bastard}!

by earpuller July 2, 2006

Meryl Sheep

American film actress, known for her work in such films as "The French Lieutenant's Ewe," "Lambchop's Choice," "Fleecewood," "Sheep-Devil" (also starring Roseanne Baah,) and her current film, "The Wolf Wears Prada."

In her long and illustrious career, Meryl Sheep's only regret is not getting the role of Clarice Starling in "Silence of the Lambs."

by earpuller July 6, 2006

dirty dining

performing oral sex on a woman.

Courtney Gerrish of WTMJ-TV Channel 4 in Milwaukee was the reporter on a story about "Dirty Dining." She's tall, thin, blonde........I'd like to do a little dirty dining with her...on my face!!

by earpuller July 13, 2006