earpuller's definitions

sediment

noun; a large sum of cash awarded to the plaintiff whose case is upheld by Judge Joe Brown. ebonic/niglish word derived from "settlement."

Tyronia dun gimme a sediment cause he mybabydaddy an de judge say he gotta pay fo him.
translation: Tyronia paid a settlement because he is the father of my bastard child and the judge determined that he must pay child support.

by earpuller December 28, 2005

Loading-on-White circle of death

This occurs on the Urban Dictionary editing page (probably other places as well) while an editor is waiting for new defs to load for the editing process. It might be the direct result of slow internet connections, or ancient, decrepit computers.

maggie: this sucks!
aggie: what's that?
maggie: i was editing defs on UD, and all of a sudden all i see is this circular graphic thingy that goes around and around and around and-
aggie: oh, i see that once in a while. i call it the "Loading-on-White circle of death. when i see it either i have to refresh, or i have to close my browser and relaunch it. it's a real pain in the ass.
maggie: but i'm a dedicated editor? what do i do?
aggie: dumby, i just told you! either refresh the page or relaunch your web browser!
maggie:, er, thanks a lot. may you forever be under the influence of the loading-on-white circle of death forever and ever, amen.

by earpuller December 19, 2010

Walmart

an acronym for the standard employee pool-
We're All Lazy Motherfuckers And Retired Truckers
-or-
We're All, Like, Minorities, Asians, Redneck Trash
-or-
Where A Luckless Moron Acquires Revolting Things
(maybe that's one def too many.)

.........rising from the site of the abandoned chemical plant, near the creek that has no life in it, a brand-spanking-new Walmart is soon to open in your area. Doesn't matter where you live, anywhere in the world-if Dubya doesn't get you, or his replacement (Dan Quayle, anyone?), Walmart will be there soon. Run away, but you will never escape................WALMART!!!!!!

by earpuller October 10, 2005

booger miner

a person with the disgusting habit of picking his or her nose while visible to the public. nothing subtle about the booger miner's approach-finger(s) inserted beyond the knuckle, accompanied by much digging around. gross? nauseating? you bet!! the verb form is booger mining.

while riding the bus to work the other day, gerry looked across the aisle at the most gorgeous woman he'd ever seen. astonishing face, magnificent hair, perfect figure, and long, slender legs. he tried to avoid staring at her, fearing he'd appear to be uncivilized and boorish, so he didn't notice that she'd inserted her left pinkie finger demurely into her nostril and began vigorously grinding away. finally he could no longer resist; he had to gaze upon her again. turning toward her, he quietly said "excuse me, i don't mean to be forward, but...." and just as he was about to ask her out, she turned toward him, smiling radiantly, and said "that's alright, go ahead." to his horror, gerry learned that this woman, the embodiment of all that is desirable about the opposite sex, was, in fact, a booger miner, for she had neglected to remove her finger from her nose before answering him. dizziness overcame him as he left the bus fourteen blocks from his office just to get away from the terrible thing he'd just witnessed.

by earpuller June 25, 2006

naughty haiku

similar to naughty little rhymes (if this wasn't published, just follow along,) naughty haiku uses the classic japanese poem structure combined with good old American sex-obsession to create a new art form. The form of a haiku is always as follows-
first line=five syllables
second line=seven syllables
third line=five syllables
-so now just add some semi-pornographic, naughty, or just silly ideas, and voila! naughty haiku!

here some examples of naughty haiku-

her bosom heaving,
jiggling, as she runs away
from me, down the road.

sometimes i stare out
from my window, watching her
as she trims her bush.

gee, i didn't know
she was only fifteen, sir.
off to jail with me.

the couple wriggled
and writhed, moaning in passion;
then the tape ran out.

by earpuller July 15, 2006

great googly-moogly

interjection, similar to "great Caesar's ghost" and "jumpin' Jehosaphat," this nonsense phrase can be heard in the song "Goin' Down Slow" by Howlin Wolf, and in Frank Zappa's song "Don't Eat The Yellow Snow."

sure, anyone can shout "holy shit" or "jesus fucking christ." but it takes a person of rare insight and a sense of musical history to say "great googly-moogly" without sounding infantile.

by earpuller January 1, 2006

Expanding Family Syndrome

the annoying tendency of family groups in stores and other public places to spread out and block access for other shoppers or patrons. seen more often during the holiday shopping seasons, but can occur at any time. EFS can cause unsuspecting people to be forced hard against walls, merchandise displays, etc., or to have to detour around the family group to get at something of interest. similar to groups of aircraft, families often spread into various "vee" formations, echelons, and the dreaded "random EFS," past which nothing can pass, not even light.

this past christmas while shopping at a well-known discount department store, i was accosted by a family of four walking in a row across the aisle. as i was checking out items to purchase, the family came upon me, the dad saying "excuse us," as if i had anyplace else to go. i chose to stand my ground, causing the mom to glare at me and the family to pass me single-file. in this manner i prevented an outbreak of Expanding Family Syndrome.

by earpuller April 27, 2006