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earpuller's definitions

midget digit

noun: a very small penis. Often used as a general putdown for males who actually have normal or even large peckers.
ed: hey dude, i heard you need tweezers to jack off.
fred: yeah, that girl you tried to screw last week told all her friends she needed a magnifying glass just to see if you were hard!
ted: and so, you have been revealed as the possessor of a midget digit!!
ned: damn! oh well, good thing my tongue is as long as my arm!!
by earpuller October 1, 2005
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pantsing

pantsing is the act of letting the pantsie know that the showing of old, cheap, smelly underwear by wearing one's pants (bought at Big Lots or stolen from the laundromat) low on the hips offends a person or persons directly behind, to the point that the pantser feels a social and patriotic obligation to embarass the pantsie by pulling down the pants the rest of the way and letting the pantsie try to walk away without looking like a ruptured duck.
ike: check out that guy! his dad must be a plumber!
mike: holy shit! maybe he's unable to dress himself without his mommy's help!
ike: or maybe he can't undress himself.............should we give him a hand?
mike: sure! in fact, let's give him two hands!
*at this point the pantsing is performed on the victim*
ike: nice knees, loser! pull up your pants and get the hell away from here!
mike: isn't some village missing an idiot? maybe you should apply, you little pantsie!
by earpuller September 27, 2005
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situational lesbian

a straight woman who uses the old "i'm a lesbian" line to put off an undesirable (at least in her eyes) guy who is hitting on her. actually, she wouldn't munch the carpet if her life depended on it, but she figures it's better to give a phony excuse to the bozo than to tell him the truth and have it turn out he's a heavily-armed psychopath.
ben: uh, hey jen, would you like to go to the movies with me tomorrow night?
jen: sorry, ben. i guess you didn't know i'm gay. but thanks anyway! (walks quickly ot the other side of the room.)
len: who was that creep? want me to smash his face in for you?
jen: no, he's okay. i just told him i'm a dike and his boner went all soft.
len: wow, you're a real situational lesbian, aren't you? wanna let me fuck your brains out? whoa, looks like i'm too late!
by earpuller November 23, 2010
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kardash

having many or all of the characteristics of one of the famous Kardashian sisters (how come we never hear about the unfamous Kardashian sisters?) These include well-oversized posteriors, excessive use of eye makeup, black hair that surely came from a bottle, and a vocal quality that makes Fran Drescher sound like an accomplished Broadway actress.
tony: hey, did you see the new receptionist? big ole' butt, and racoon eyes.
donie: and that voice! she sounds all kardash, like those sisters on TV.....what was their name again?
tony: you mean the Kardashians? that's the name you can't remember. how kardash of you.
donie: yeah. speaking of kardash, what kind of printers' ink does your mom use to keep her youthful appearance?
by earpuller December 7, 2010
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true dat

meaning 1: that is true. Replaces "word" or "word up" in urban slang.
meaning 2: how a Milwaukeean says "threw that."
meaning 3: an instruction given to a bike repairman concerning an out-of-alignment wheel.
1: ike: man, something smells bad in here!
mike: true dat! but he who smelled it ,dealt it.
2: Dat pile of trash? I true dat in da garbage yesterday, hey.
3: pat:my bike wheel is a little bent!
matt: yeah, we can true dat. it'll roll straight as an arrow.
by earpuller October 10, 2005
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great googly-moogly

interjection, similar to "great Caesar's ghost" and "jumpin' Jehosaphat," this nonsense phrase can be heard in the song "Goin' Down Slow" by Howlin Wolf, and in Frank Zappa's song "Don't Eat The Yellow Snow."
sure, anyone can shout "holy shit" or "jesus fucking christ." but it takes a person of rare insight and a sense of musical history to say "great googly-moogly" without sounding infantile.
by earpuller January 1, 2006
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naughty haiku

similar to naughty little rhymes (if this wasn't published, just follow along,) naughty haiku uses the classic japanese poem structure combined with good old American sex-obsession to create a new art form. The form of a haiku is always as follows-
first line=five syllables
second line=seven syllables
third line=five syllables
-so now just add some semi-pornographic, naughty, or just silly ideas, and voila! naughty haiku!
here some examples of naughty haiku-

her bosom heaving,
jiggling, as she runs away
from me, down the road.

sometimes i stare out
from my window, watching her
as she trims her bush.

gee, i didn't know
she was only fifteen, sir.
off to jail with me.

the couple wriggled
and writhed, moaning in passion;
then the tape ran out.
by earpuller July 15, 2006
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