earpuller's definitions

judge joe brown

verb-to be told off or schooled by an older man, who is probably right for getting on your ass. If it's an older woman, use the verb judge judy.

bobby: when my dad finds out i wrecked his car he's gonna judge joe brown me for hours.

by earpuller October 1, 2005

jose queerbo

the favorite beer among Mexican homosexuals.

Hey mang, bring me a jose queerbo and give me a big wet kiss!
don't bring me a dos ickies, i can'TECATEnymore!

by earpuller October 10, 2005

ass dragon

a semi-mythical creature, often seen in industrialized areas of the world. in common with other dragons, the ass dragon is a winged creature, but due to its extra-large posterior, it is incapable of flight (sometimes it is incapable of walking up stairs.) anywhere it walks it leaves a set of deep, broad, round furrows caused by its buttocks cheeks scraping the ground due to exhaustion after a long day's work. as well as belching fire from its snout, the ass dragon often releases noxious fumes from deep within its rear end.

outside the old factory, you can still see the ass dragon's tracks, usually filled with rainwater and colored dyes, and sometimes, after a rainstorm, one can catch the scent of sulfurous compounds emanating from the center of the tracks.

by earpuller November 6, 2007

loaded and corroded

1. Another over-long way of saying "drunk."
2. The term for when the baseball team you dislike has a man on each base (or "bases loaded.") Popular in the late sixties/early seventies in northern New Jersey; may have been used in other areas.

1. benny-"man, did you see that douchebag at the club last night? falling down drunk again! that boy was sure loaded."
denny-"yeah, and he got that way on zima!! that means he was loaded and corroded.!!"

2. When the Atlanta Braves or New York Yankees have a runner at each base, you can honestly say the bases are loaded and corroded.

by earpuller November 6, 2007

beat 'n' defeated

a redundant phrase, since each word can mean the same thing. however, due to its rhyming scheme, it seems to be a more definitive way of saying someone or something lost.

beat-you lost the tennis match 6-4, 6-4, 6-3 to a very good opponent.

defeated-you lost your previous match 6-3, 6-2, 6-2 to an average player.

beat and defeated-your kid brother won a match against you 6-0, 6-0, 6-0 even though he had spent the last week sick in bed with the flu and he wasn't wearing his glasses. this, my friends, means you were beat 'n' defeated. soundly.

by earpuller November 6, 2007

cruise control creeping

the act of allowing an automobile to approach the car ahead because the driver has set his cruise control but is not paying attention to traffic conditions. the noun form of the phrase is "cruise control creeper."

while driving down a two-lane country road, i noticed in my rear view mirror a large foreign sedan approaching my car from behind. his speed was almost the same as mine, just a little quicker, so his approach was pretty slow. still, he kept on getting closer, until i could no longer see his front bumper. suddenly, just as i thought he was going to ram me, he swerved left and passed me at a rapid pace, glaring at me as he passed. he left me behind at the same slow rate as he approached me. i figured he was cruise control creeping, because he was gabbing on a cell phone. to avoid becoming a cruise control creeper myself, i reset my own cruise control and let the other car go about his merry way. after i flipped him off.

by earpuller November 6, 2007

y.a.n.g.b.

an acronym for a terrible thing for a woman to say to a smitten man-"you're a nice guy, but..." it usually means that the woman in question wouldn't be caught dead with the poor dope, but she doesn't want to make him mad or sad, for whatever reason. this phrase is right up there with the more well-known saying "can't we just be friends?", which of course means "i don't want to know you exist, but i don't want you to think i'm a bitch just because i wouldn't date you if you were the last man on earth." ladies, girls, women of the world, can't you turn us down politely and let us know you're just not interested in a romantic relationship with us?

larry-"hey, uh, carrie, i was wondering if you'd like to go out with me sometime, like out to dinner or to a movie or somethin'"
carrie-"gee, larry, you're a nice guy, but i don't think i can go out with you because (insert lame reason here.)"

LATER THAT DAY-
carrie, to her friends-"holy crap, can you believe that big fat ugly stupid dork had the nerve to ask me out? what does he think, i'm a blind desperate retard?"
MEANWHILE, ACORSS TOWN-
barry-"hey, man, so did you ask her out?"
larry-"yeah, but she gave me the old y.a.n.g.b. goddamned stupid stuck-up little bitch."
barry-"sucks to be you, moron!!"
larry-"gee, thanks, asshole. with friends like you, who needs enemies?"

by earpuller November 21, 2007