earpuller's definitions

pantsing

pantsing is the act of letting the pantsie know that the showing of old, cheap, smelly underwear by wearing one's pants (bought at Big Lots or stolen from the laundromat) low on the hips offends a person or persons directly behind, to the point that the pantser feels a social and patriotic obligation to embarass the pantsie by pulling down the pants the rest of the way and letting the pantsie try to walk away without looking like a ruptured duck.

ike: check out that guy! his dad must be a plumber!
mike: holy shit! maybe he's unable to dress himself without his mommy's help!
ike: or maybe he can't undress himself.............should we give him a hand?
mike: sure! in fact, let's give him two hands!
*at this point the pantsing is performed on the victim*
ike: nice knees, loser! pull up your pants and get the hell away from here!
mike: isn't some village missing an idiot? maybe you should apply, you little pantsie!

by earpuller September 27, 2005

pantsie

noun: the victim of a pantsing. A pantsie is the guy you see at the mall or walking down the street wearing his pants low on the hips so you can see his skinny little ass, and also the fact that he wears bargain-basement boxers. You would create a pantsie by pulling down his pants. Usually a wannabe of some sort, as a pantsie must do something to show the world how great he wishes he were. BTW-why are pantsies only guys?

Imagine you're walking behind someone flashing his butt crack and his dirty shorts (change them once in a while, jag-off!) letting the world know he's secure in his surroundings, unafraid of being exposed for what he really is (an insecure loser). As a public service you decide to finish the job he started by lowering his pants to floor level, preferably while in the presence of the girl he really likes, or the kids who hate him. VOILA!! You have created a pantsie.

by earpuller September 27, 2005

pantser

noun: one who performs a pantsing on a pantsie. Sharing the pronunciation of the German word for "armor", the pantsie believes the pantser is, in fact, some kind of Nazi fascist scum. Actually, the pantser is a sort of public defender of taste, e.g. the pantser shows the absurdity of publicly displaying one's underwear by showing even more of the pantsie's skivvies. A pantser absolutely will NEVER pants a person whose pants are worn properly; this violates The Pantser Creed (definition to follow-or not).

ike: that guy needs to be pantsed!
mike: but who can do the deed?
ike: wait a minute-i could do it! all i need to do is pull down his pants and SHAZAM!! i am a pantser.
rene descarte (french philosopher and early prankster of some repute): i pants, therefore i am.

by earpuller September 27, 2005

smegwaukee

noun 1: in general, a put-down for Milwaukee.
noun 2: specifically, in the early 80s (and for many years previously) Milwaukee had a unique, nauseating odor. It was a combination of brewery smells, general industrial funk, and the scent of dead alewives (a fish of some sort). Now the brewers are almost all gone (none are downtown anymore), most of the industries have cleaned up or moved away, and the alewives? Who knows!! Who cares!!

meaning 1-
guy from west alice-shit! I just got transferred to downtown smegwaukee!! fuck it, i'm moving to racine.
guy from creamfield (or creamdale)-don't forget kenosha!! That's where they used to make Ramblers.
meaning 2-
guy from snorewood: goin' to smegwaukee tonight?
guy from whitefolks bay: fuck that shit-i can smell that stuff just by lifting the toilet seat.
girl from fuquon-or by sniffing my snatch!!
guy from phlegmdale-ok, you're on, baby!!!

by earpuller September 27, 2005

professional virgin

noun: a woman who flaunts her "pureness" in public while sucking cock in private. Her image would be sullied if it were revealed that she was just like everyone else in her peer group (sexually active). Could also apply to a man, I guess, but how many guys brag about being a virgin?

the following are examples of celebrity women who could be accused of being professional virgins-

circa 1982-"Hi, I'm Brooke Shields, and I never, ever have sex with anyone! I'm saving myself for marriage!!" (doggy style? ok, Andre!!)
circa 1998-"Hi, I'm Britney Spears, and I'm as pure as the driven snow!! I don't let a boy go all the way with me ever! I'm waiting until I'm married!!" (ok, Justin, but let me mouthwash first. I can still taste your cock.)

by earpuller September 17, 2005

buddy buttocks

a term of non-sexual affection used between straight males; may be exclusive to the milwaukee area, circa 1982.

lars: hey guys, what's going on?
kevin: BUDDY BUTTOCKS!!!
lars: say it a little louder, kev, some folks in the next county might not have heard you.
kevin: OK!! BUDDY BUTTOCKS!!
lars: i should have gone to marqutte.
kevin: but i'm glad you didn't, otherwise we'd never hang out, BUDDY BUTTOCKS!!
the rest of us: enough already!!!

by earpuller September 16, 2005

niglish

noun: another way of saying ebonics, ot the language of illiterate street scum who "keep it real." Niglish is often heard on "Judge Joe Brown," and parodied on "Chapelle's Show."
Niglish is also the favorite language of trailer trash whiteys and other wigger wannabes.

ike: hey spike, whattya like?
mike: what's goin on man? why're you dressed like fiddy-thent?
spike: whatup, dawgs, i's jes keepin' it real, fo shizzle. later me and mah homies gonna do somfin ghetto, aight?
ike: what the fuck did he say?
mike: i dunno, but sounds like niglish to me. Funny thing is, he graduated 1st in his class at prep school

by earpuller September 15, 2005