earpuller's definitions
If a company is a house, then Human Resources is the septic tank; all the shit goes there. Human Resources, better known as HR, is the lowest place in a corporation's hierarchy, although they make themselves important by gaining the ability to control who works and who doesn't. To be a success in HR one must lose all trace of humanity and become a robot (becoming a whore is also advisable.) To paraphrase Willie Nelson,"mommas, dont let your babies grow up to be HR drones, don't let 'em be robots or whores or sluts, make 'em be robbers or car thieves and such....."
when i was a child, i thought like a child, but when i grew up and started working in Human Resources, i knew i had lost my soul, and to appease my new gods i fired my best friend, my girlfriend, my brother, an Iraqi war veteran with a silver star and a distinguished service cross, and the guy who saved me from drowning when i was a kid. what a good day's work!!
by earpuller December 2, 2010
Get the Human Resourcesmug. a redundant phrase, since each word can mean the same thing. however, due to its rhyming scheme, it seems to be a more definitive way of saying someone or something lost.
beat-you lost the tennis match 6-4, 6-4, 6-3 to a very good opponent.
defeated-you lost your previous match 6-3, 6-2, 6-2 to an average player.
beat and defeated-your kid brother won a match against you 6-0, 6-0, 6-0 even though he had spent the last week sick in bed with the flu and he wasn't wearing his glasses. this, my friends, means you were beat 'n' defeated. soundly.
defeated-you lost your previous match 6-3, 6-2, 6-2 to an average player.
beat and defeated-your kid brother won a match against you 6-0, 6-0, 6-0 even though he had spent the last week sick in bed with the flu and he wasn't wearing his glasses. this, my friends, means you were beat 'n' defeated. soundly.
by earpuller November 6, 2007
Get the beat 'n' defeatedmug. noun: spoken as one word, meaning "my baby's daddy." Heard frequently on "Judge Joe Brown," "Judge Mathis," and "The Jerry Springer Show." Used by illiterate people of all races and ethinicities, although most prevalent among blacks. A similar word set is "mybabymomma," meaning "my baby's momma," of course. Variations in pronunciation include "muhbebbidaddy" and "mabaybuhsdadduh."
Judge Joe Brown: So, Ms. Federline, who takes care of your children while you're out streetwalking?
britney: wail, they be either wit mah momma or over to they daddy's house, yer Honor.
JJB: Your mother and who?
britney: mybabydaddy. We broke up when he found out I was gonna give him another bastard child for him to not support.
JJB: Y'all are pitiful and I've heard enough!! Case Dismissed!
britney: wail, they be either wit mah momma or over to they daddy's house, yer Honor.
JJB: Your mother and who?
britney: mybabydaddy. We broke up when he found out I was gonna give him another bastard child for him to not support.
JJB: Y'all are pitiful and I've heard enough!! Case Dismissed!
by earpuller December 28, 2005
Get the mybabydaddymug. a derogatory term for Ford Motor Company's legendary sporty car, the Mustang. The implication is that the Mustang is a dog (mutt) that stinks (stank.) Usually used by fans of General Motors' late lamented Glimmer Twins, the Camaro and the Firebird.
gene: so whatcha gonna do now that yer ex-wife gotcher Explorer in the divorce?
dean: i dunno. i always wanted a Mustang, maybe I'll get a red one.
gene: whatthefuck? why bother with a Muttstank? you might as well walk, or buy a Hyundai.
dean: stfu, at least they didn't discontinue the Mustang like they did the Cramped Arrow or the Misfirebird.
me: wait till they bring back the Challenger!!
gene and dean: who said that?
dean: i dunno. i always wanted a Mustang, maybe I'll get a red one.
gene: whatthefuck? why bother with a Muttstank? you might as well walk, or buy a Hyundai.
dean: stfu, at least they didn't discontinue the Mustang like they did the Cramped Arrow or the Misfirebird.
me: wait till they bring back the Challenger!!
gene and dean: who said that?
by earpuller April 18, 2006
Get the Muttstankmug. will: man, i've got to work all day saturday. guess i won't get to go to the ballgame with you guys.
bill: aw, tough shit.
will: REALLY? CHEW HARDER!!!
bill: aw, tough shit.
will: REALLY? CHEW HARDER!!!
by earpuller November 21, 2010
Get the chew hardermug. The tendency of slow-moving cars to converge and prevent faster cars from getting past. Much like a blood clot, the traffic clotcan cause serious trouble unless it is treated quickly. Even on a three- or four-lane freeway, a traffic clot can occur at any time, slowing down other motorists and leading to things like road rage.
ernie: sorry i'm late, buddy, but i was making great time on the tollway until i got caught behind a traffic clot.
bernie: oh man, those suck! how many old hyundais were there?
ernie: three, plus an old couple in an avalon, a civic with go-fast decals and a fart can exhaust, and five minivans.
bernie: they need a separate lane for traffic clots.
ernie: yeah, they could call it the "by-pass!!"
bernie: oh man, those suck! how many old hyundais were there?
ernie: three, plus an old couple in an avalon, a civic with go-fast decals and a fart can exhaust, and five minivans.
bernie: they need a separate lane for traffic clots.
ernie: yeah, they could call it the "by-pass!!"
by earpuller June 13, 2006
Get the traffic clotmug. the act of allowing an automobile to approach the car ahead because the driver has set his cruise control but is not paying attention to traffic conditions. the noun form of the phrase is "cruise control creeper."
while driving down a two-lane country road, i noticed in my rear view mirror a large foreign sedan approaching my car from behind. his speed was almost the same as mine, just a little quicker, so his approach was pretty slow. still, he kept on getting closer, until i could no longer see his front bumper. suddenly, just as i thought he was going to ram me, he swerved left and passed me at a rapid pace, glaring at me as he passed. he left me behind at the same slow rate as he approached me. i figured he was cruise control creeping, because he was gabbing on a cell phone. to avoid becoming a cruise control creeper myself, i reset my own cruise control and let the other car go about his merry way. after i flipped him off.
by earpuller November 6, 2007
Get the cruise control creepingmug.