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MadamexXx's definitions

Calorie Cops

When you are overweight and eat something fattening in public and someone says: "Are you sure you should be eating that?"
When you are quite thin, but some nosy scrotesque underweight old man sees that you have a big bag of M&M's and says: "It'll make ya fat."
When you are thin and someone who likes fat people tells you you're too thin. This is usually sexual harassment.
"I was trying to eat a doughnut one morning, but someone called the Calorie Cops. They were eating them too."
"I was proud of my thin new shape and this pervert who keeps trying to flirt with me said I should eat more. What is he, the Calorie Cops?"
Some people were making fun of fat people in line, and I said: "Shut up, you fvck!ng Calorie Cops!"
by MadamexXx February 25, 2009
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Something for your ass

When you are due a real beat down for some jive turkey move.
An unpleasant surprise.
Karma being a bitch.
A ferocious retaliation.
A promise of good sex.
When my boyfriend asked if we could have a threesome I said: "I have SOMETHING for your ass."
by MadamexXx March 3, 2009
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Jive Turkey

Someone who exaggerates to the point where it's over the top and they are way full of shit. This person hasn't learned the meaning of overkill when it comes to building themself up or buttering someone else up. This is often a child who is trying to flatter an adult with sophomoric compliments. This is often used as a sexual ploy as well. A big insult in the African-American community.
Lily is a little girl who will tell you that you have the bluest eyes she's ever seen and the whitest teeth. She's a jive turkey.
This dude was trying to holler at me asking what a nice girl like me was doing in a place like this. What a jive turkey!
Alexandria is a pathological liar, and is Queen of the Jive Turkeys.
Someone was trying to mack to Daddy Pimp Juice's girl and she told the Jive Turkey to step off while listening to The Ohio Players song "Jive Turkey."
by MadamexXx February 25, 2009
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Albino

Human or animal lacking in melanin, causing them to have literally white skin (or fur), pink eyes and poor vision. I don't know much about them, but my sister and I are really afraid of them. I had a supervisor who was half-albino and he scared the crap outta me. One time this albino guy stared at me and it freaked me out. It's still scary to think about.
Once I was walking up the street and saw an albino standing outside of a store. I got super scared and crossed the street. As I passed him from across the street, I snuck a look at him. He was really a manniquin who was moving around from the wind outside,a very human-looking manniquin. I feel like a damn fool, but I still won't go into that store. My apology to any albino who's reading this.
by MadamexXx March 18, 2009
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The Hit and Run

When somebody says something really messed up or innappropriate, then flees the scene. You are left feeling horrible and they get away with it because they are not there for you to retaliate.
My uncle has anger management issues. He insulted my son for embarassing him and then left the room before anyone could say anything. It was a real Hit and Run.
This dude I rejected told me my boyfriend was playing me with a sneering look of delight on his face, but then quickly walked away. Only a punk-ass bastard would do The Hit and Run like that.
by MadamexXx February 24, 2009
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Warsh

How people on the Jerry Springer show say "wash" and don't know any better.
"Wash" rhymes with "Posh" and "Mosh," not "Harsh" or "Marsh" or how Goofy says "Gosh" which is "Garsh!"
If you think the way to pronounce wash is warsh, then you've been brainwarshed.
by MadamexXx February 25, 2009
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Big Butt Paranoia

It's when you don't feel fat except when trying to squeeze by somewhere or usually someone. Narrow walkways are conducive to Big Butt Paranoia as well as trying to get out of a car back seat in a two-door. Being in a crowd can cause this as well.
I felt fit and trim, but after squeezing by everyone at the crowded deli, I developped a case of Big Butt Paranoia.
Everytime I get out of that car, I get big butt paranoia.
I always get BBP in that elevator.
It's usually people with small butts who get big butt paranoia.
by MadamexXx February 20, 2009
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