selmabouvier's definitions

giant beefeater

shockingly bad present. see series 2 of i'm alan partridge.

- so what did you get for christmas?
- shit all. load of giant beefeater. you?
- same.

by selmabouvier December 18, 2003

whipping baby

serial scapegoat - someone who always gets the blame for stuff.

- I've had it up to here with being Mona's whipping baby.
- Fuck her.
- That may have been part of the problem.

by selmabouvier December 18, 2003

illusionist

A friend who's shit at keeping in touch - they appear and disappear at will/random.

- So have you seen Alan recently?
- No, no one has.
- He some kind of illusionist or something?
- Guess so.

by selmabouvier December 18, 2003

friendship horizon

point at which it becomes impossible to pull/shag your friend because you've become too familiar to each other.

- So how's it going with Sam?
- She farted in front of me today. Twice. I guess we're well over the friendship horizon and into the comfort zone.
- Oh dear.

by selmabouvier December 18, 2003

mercyfuck

Fucking someone because you feel deeply sorry for them. Meaning has also extended to include fucking because you feel sorry for yourself. Could be the perfect present for someone trekking the Sahara.

- So you mercyfucked Jody?
- Yeah, she's a munter and I had to have the lights out but she was so damn grateful, it was kinda cute.

by selmabouvier December 18, 2003

dinner cruise

walking round the supermarket, at around 6-7pm, trying to decide which ready meal to have for dinner

- Up for a dinner cruise?
- Happy Shopper or Co-Op?
- Whatever, I'm starving, let's go.

by selmabouvier December 18, 2003

crazy paving

someone with really really bad teeth. quite likely to be British.

Austin Powers.

by selmabouvier December 18, 2003