selmabouvier's definitions

giant beefeater

shockingly bad present. see series 2 of i'm alan partridge.

- so what did you get for christmas?
- shit all. load of giant beefeater. you?
- same.

by selmabouvier December 18, 2003

illusionist

A friend who's shit at keeping in touch - they appear and disappear at will/random.

- So have you seen Alan recently?
- No, no one has.
- He some kind of illusionist or something?
- Guess so.

by selmabouvier December 18, 2003

whipping baby

serial scapegoat - someone who always gets the blame for stuff.

- I've had it up to here with being Mona's whipping baby.
- Fuck her.
- That may have been part of the problem.

by selmabouvier December 18, 2003

crazy paving

someone with really really bad teeth. quite likely to be British.

Austin Powers.

by selmabouvier December 18, 2003

one forty itch

the well-known British practice of waking up at 1:40pm exactly to catch the lunchtime edition of cult soap, neighbours. see also the five thirty five grind.

- Had a productive day?
- Well... got the one forty itch, then took in a bit of doctors and murdershewrote, then... went back to bed.
- Nice. Fancy a quick drink later?
- Well, after last night...

by selmabouvier December 18, 2003

trekking the Sahara

in the midst of a really big sexual drought. tearing the labels off items everywhere. no sign of sex anywhere. definitely not on the friendship horizon, or anywhere else.

- Jeez, you're shaking.
- I know, I know.
- Jim Beam Hand?
- God no. Trekking the Sahara. Three months.
- Good Lord! I'll mercyfuck you if I have to!

by selmabouvier December 18, 2003

growler

Heavily hairy minge. From Avid Merrion's portrayal of Lorraine Kelly in Channel 4's Bo' Selecta.

- Can you see me growler?

Alternatively:
- So did she have a real growler?

by selmabouvier December 18, 2003