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rogerthewhale's definitions

Making infatuation

Similar to making love, as partners engage in sexual behavior. However, said partners are not truly in love, but rather infatuated. Sexual behavior may consist of penetration, but no petting or caressing. Also, dirty talk replaces "I love you" talk.
John: Come on Sarah! Why are you leaving? We made love last night. I thought that meant we would be together forever.

Sarah: John! I thought I was clear that this would only be for one night. We never made eye contact or anything. How could you think I would marry you. You need to learn the difference between making love and making infatuation.
by rogerthewhale December 4, 2010
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Cock fight

The difficult fight a man faces against his cock when a boner is imminent.
Sarah: Your a good friend Joe. I feel so safe and unthreatened with you. (gives him a hug)

Joe thinking: Oh fuck, man. DON'T get a boner! DON'T a boner.

(Joe loses the cock fight; Joe gets a boner; Sarah tazes Joe; Joe says goodbye to plans of getting in Sarah's pants)
by rogerthewhale December 6, 2010
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Equator Penis Measuring System

The Equator Penis Measuring System (EPMS) is the system that gives an approximation of one's penis size. Generally speaking, the closer you live to the Ecuador, the larger your penis is. For example, Africans and Latin Americans living on the equator will have penises measuring around 11 or 12 inches hard, while the English and Scottish living up north have penises measuring 3 inches flaccid, or up to 5 inches hard. There are also intermediate points. Italians, for example, have penises about 6 inches flaccid, and 8 inches hard.
Example of the Equator Penis Measuring System

Canadian: Eh, my penis is aboot 3 inches.

Italian: What's a matta you, uh?? I got a 8 inch sausage! It could slap you and break-a your face!!

Black guy: Y'all niggas is small. I got 12 inches up in this muthafucka. Y'all my bitches now. SHIT JUST GOT REAL!!! SHIT JUST GOT REAL!!!
by rogerthewhale March 8, 2013
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One Night Stand Friend

A temporary friend who you talk to on only one occasion. Most often happens between mutual friends at a party. The night after the party, you never speak, except for infrequent but uncomfortable small talk.
John: Hey man, its so weird. After that party, Jessica and I have not talked once. Its pretty awkward.

Paul: Oh yeah. I think thats happened to all of us at some point. It feels awkward after casual sex.

John: But no! We didn't have sex. We were only friends.

Paul: Oh! I get it. But you two are in love.

John: No were not! We were nothing except for good friends on Friday.

Paul: Oh Yeah. Okay. You were just one night stand friends. I think anyone who has ever been to a party has experienced that.
by rogerthewhale September 10, 2010
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Teacher With Benefits

Every high school boys' fantasy. A teacher that will have sex with him.
Jake: Man Mrs. Johnson looks like a great piece of ass. I would totally do her!

Cody: I fucked her after school last week! She was damn fine.

Jake: You tapped that?!?

Cody: Yeah. Haven't you ever had a teacher with benefits? It's awesome!!!
by rogerthewhale September 11, 2011
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Love is blind

1. A nice way of saying "Love makes you do fucked up shit."

2. The biggest understatement ever spoken by the masses.
Love is blind.

No. Love is not blind. It's fucking delusional.
by rogerthewhale January 24, 2013
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Infatubation

1. The act of jerkin' it to the person you are obsessed with, or have a romantic desire for.

2. How a hopeless romantic, or extremely desperate person, masturbates.
I am totally infatuated with Claire. I infatubate to the thoughts of making sweet love with her. Then I blow my load and imagine staring into her eyes. Infatubation at it's finest!
by rogerthewhale December 26, 2012
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