dookeyboy's definitions

food stamps

A plastic credit card issued by most states to enable ostensibly poor people to buy cigarettes, beer, tabloids, potato chips, and lottery tickets. Often sold and traded on the black market for drugs, drug paraphernalia, and sex.

My mother hit the daily number for $500 with a lottery ticket she bought using food stamps.

by dookeyboy November 23, 2010

don't touch my junk

Phrase every American traveling through an airport should utter before being screened by security so the TSA will start harassing people who actually look like real terrorists.

Screener: "I'm going to pat you once on the inner thigh, twice on the ass, three times on your belly button, and then finally stick four fingers and some jelly in yer bunghole, alright honey? If you're uncomfortable with that we can head over to the janitor room right there and do a quick private thingy, k puddin'?"

Passenger: "Do whatchu gotta do, but don't touch my junk or I'll have you arrested."

by dookeyboy November 21, 2010

thundersnow

A freak type of snow storm that is accompanied by startlingly loud-ass thunder and lightning even though no rain is present.

Although not common, the phenomenon typically happens in the winter months around the Great Lakes areas of the U.S. and Canada.

The Weather Channel reporter almost shit himself when he was reporting in Chicago during a super thundersnow storm!

by dookeyboy February 22, 2011

Governor Bambi

Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, notorious for the deer-in-the-headlight type looks she gives when asked basic questions by the lame stream media and debate moderators.

See also Mooselini, mama grizzly, Caribou Barbie, and Gorilla from Wasilla.

Governor Bambi has gone into hiding ever since doe season started.

by dookeyboy November 22, 2010

Palinese

A hard-to-decipher language that originated in Wasilla, Alaska. Believed to have first been spoken and heard in the 21st Century, it is characterized by use of moronic oversimplified phrases such as "Russia's in my backyard," "gotcha journalism," "death panels," "lame stream media," and "you betcha."

Estimated global population known to speak the language: 1 person(s)

If the former Governor of Alaska decides to run for President in 2012, we'll all need some type of interpreter during the debates 'cause no one else on earth understands Palinese.

by dookeyboy November 21, 2010

freeze tag

a redneck batchelor/batchelorette party with no cover charge

Man, let's go out to Widow's Peak tonight. They's havin' a freeze tag party for Billy Ray and Dixie - all you can eat and drink, too!

by dookeyboy November 16, 2010

Beg pardon?

A question asked with attitude and a squinty-eyed look to someone who has just offended you even though you understood perfectly well what was said. The threat of an ass-whoopin' against the offender usually follows.

Dude: "Dude, rap music sux!"

Homeboy: "Beg pardon?!"

Dude: "You heard me."

Homeboy: "Hold my keys, y'all, I'm 'bout to whoop this bitch's ass!"

by dookeyboy November 22, 2010