Definitions by dookeyboy
funeral
An expensive gathering of family and friends to observe a corpse, state that the deceased "looks good" in his or her coffin, gossip over how the person died, and then cast lots to divide any remaining assets.
Often many of the attendees haven't had contact with the deceased in years but now believe that appearing at the funeral to show support actually matters to a dead person or the truly bereaved.
Often many of the attendees haven't had contact with the deceased in years but now believe that appearing at the funeral to show support actually matters to a dead person or the truly bereaved.
Mark: Man, if I hear one more person say that Uncle Ray "looks good" in his coffin tonight during funeral calling hours I'm gonna flip out!
Jake: I know, right?! That bone cancer ate him away and he weighed 47 lbs when he died! Makes no sense!
Jake: I know, right?! That bone cancer ate him away and he weighed 47 lbs when he died! Makes no sense!
Cyber Monday
The Monday after Thanksgiving Day, when online retailers keep the Black Friday-like bullshit going by constantly bombarding our e-mail inboxes and facebook statuses with annoying-ass ads to buy their products on our employers' time.
These companies apparently don't realize their tactics actually have the reverse effect and that many of us are actually out deer hunting on this day and are carrying loaded .30-06 (thirty-aught-six) rifles.
These companies apparently don't realize their tactics actually have the reverse effect and that many of us are actually out deer hunting on this day and are carrying loaded .30-06 (thirty-aught-six) rifles.
Cyber Monday by dookeyboy December 1, 2010
hors d'oeuvres
A bunch of nasty little foods on platters at a social event. Often they are the only meal served during the entire event because the hosts are too cheap to provide a main course.
Pronounced: or-DERVS
Pronounced: or-DERVS
Dude, they found maggots in the hors d'oeuvres at the company party, so nobody had anything to eat the entire evening.
hors d'oeuvres by dookeyboy November 28, 2010
86 this bitch
1. To dump a chick with whom you are fed up.
2. To leave a place or hangout (usually in a huff or quickly) because it's lame or has become tiresome.
2. To leave a place or hangout (usually in a huff or quickly) because it's lame or has become tiresome.
1. Man, I'm sick her drama, yo! I'm 'bout to 86 this bitch when I talk to her ass again!
2. Marcus: "Man, da bouncer won't let me in da club 'cause he said my pants on da ground, yo!
Sean: "For realz, playa? That's whack! Let's 86 this bitch anyway, yo!"
2. Marcus: "Man, da bouncer won't let me in da club 'cause he said my pants on da ground, yo!
Sean: "For realz, playa? That's whack! Let's 86 this bitch anyway, yo!"
86 this bitch by dookeyboy November 26, 2010
jackwagon
Billy: "Dude, I can't get Ronnie to play tackle football with us 'cause he's too afraid of getting hit."
Jimmy: "It doesn't surprise me, he's always been a fuckin' jackwagon anyway."
Jimmy: "It doesn't surprise me, he's always been a fuckin' jackwagon anyway."
Dumpalotopus
1. A philandering herbivorous dinosaur species (full name: Dumpalotopus maximus rex) of the Jurassic era that died out prior to the cataclysmic asteroid event due to its aversion to commitment with the opposite sex.
2. In modern times, used to describe a gigolo type who gets laid often and is rarely with the same babe twice.
See also hit it and quit it
2. In modern times, used to describe a gigolo type who gets laid often and is rarely with the same babe twice.
See also hit it and quit it
1. At the archaeological dig site we found a complete Dumpalotopus skeleton minus the spine.
2. Dude, Sean gets laid so much from week-to-week with so many different chicks we've resorted to calling him "Captain Dumpalotopus!"
2. Dude, Sean gets laid so much from week-to-week with so many different chicks we've resorted to calling him "Captain Dumpalotopus!"
Dumpalotopus by dookeyboy November 25, 2010
porn machine
My buddy who's a TSA agent at LAX downloaded a ton of great pics from a couple of their porn machines!
porn machine by dookeyboy November 25, 2010