dookeyboy's definitions

Wasillabeast

In the book of Tea Bag of the Neocon bible, the coming totalitarianistic ruler expected to usher in the New World Order, thereby ridding the earth of gotcha journalism and all liberals.

Suspected to have already appeared on Faux News numerous times while awaiting the prophesied time to reveal itself completely.

See also Mooselini, Caribou Barbie, mama grizzly, and Gorilla from Wasilla.

Yup... earthquakes, famine, floods, implant chips... all the signs point to the revelation of Wasillabeast any time now.

by dookeyboy November 24, 2010

gas and match

to burn someone's possessions, usually out of anger or spite

Man, you see Marcus on da news in his drawlz wit' his house on fire?! I told him if he got caught creepin' that his lady would gas and match his shit, and sure enough I was right!

by dookeyboy November 23, 2010

jackwagon

a crybaby loser pussy-type who needs to grow some cajones and start acting like a man

Billy: "Dude, I can't get Ronnie to play tackle football with us 'cause he's too afraid of getting hit."

Jimmy: "It doesn't surprise me, he's always been a fuckin' jackwagon anyway."

by dookeyboy November 25, 2010

poelice

The police, as pronounced by many Southerners, including the officers themselves in many instances.

Pronounced "POE lees."

Drug Dealer: "Officer, man... why you tase me, yo?!"

Officer: "I pulled out muh bullhorn and told you to stop back there 20 miles ago. What you 'spect when you runnin' from da poelice anyway?"

by dookeyboy January 7, 2011

particularly troubled personality

A whack job nutcase who goes on a murderous rampage for any number of reasons, including but not limited to mental instability, political/ideological disputes, delusional government conspiracy theories, or personal socio-economic woes.

As defined by Pima County, AZ Sheriff Clarence Dupnik on msnbc.

That fuckin' whack-job Jared Loughner who shot AZ Congresswoman Gabby Giffords and 18 others is a prime example of a particularly troubled personality.

by dookeyboy January 12, 2011

porn machine

the latest invasive full-body scan X-ray technology utilized by the TSA at American airports

My buddy who's a TSA agent at LAX downloaded a ton of great pics from a couple of their porn machines!

by dookeyboy November 25, 2010

don't touch my junk

Phrase every American traveling through an airport should utter before being screened by security so the TSA will start harassing people who actually look like real terrorists.

Screener: "I'm going to pat you once on the inner thigh, twice on the ass, three times on your belly button, and then finally stick four fingers and some jelly in yer bunghole, alright honey? If you're uncomfortable with that we can head over to the janitor room right there and do a quick private thingy, k puddin'?"

Passenger: "Do whatchu gotta do, but don't touch my junk or I'll have you arrested."

by dookeyboy November 21, 2010