dookeyboy's definitions

Cyber Monday

The Monday after Thanksgiving Day, when online retailers keep the Black Friday-like bullshit going by constantly bombarding our e-mail inboxes and facebook statuses with annoying-ass ads to buy their products on our employers' time.

These companies apparently don't realize their tactics actually have the reverse effect and that many of us are actually out deer hunting on this day and are carrying loaded .30-06 (thirty-aught-six) rifles.

If I get one more Cyber Monday e-mail today from company X I'm gonna blow my fucking laptop up!

by dookeyboy December 1, 2010

food stamps

A plastic credit card issued by most states to enable ostensibly poor people to buy cigarettes, beer, tabloids, potato chips, and lottery tickets. Often sold and traded on the black market for drugs, drug paraphernalia, and sex.

My mother hit the daily number for $500 with a lottery ticket she bought using food stamps.

by dookeyboy November 23, 2010

Sankyville

A very large village whose occupants are all six feet under.

Billy: Man, I hear Uncle Ralph is really sick and might not make it much longer.

Jimmy: Yeah... well, you know what Grandma always used to say... we all gotta go to Sankyville some time.

by dookeyboy November 23, 2010

86 this bitch

1. To dump a chick with whom you are fed up.

2. To leave a place or hangout (usually in a huff or quickly) because it's lame or has become tiresome.

1. Man, I'm sick her drama, yo! I'm 'bout to 86 this bitch when I talk to her ass again!

2. Marcus: "Man, da bouncer won't let me in da club 'cause he said my pants on da ground, yo!

Sean: "For realz, playa? That's whack! Let's 86 this bitch anyway, yo!"

by dookeyboy November 26, 2010

toddler CEO

The nickname given to facebook co-founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg by blogger Kara Swisher in reference to his young age and relative inexperience in running a behemoth company that could someday be traded publicly.

The toddler CEO shit himself after being informed that his 24% share of facebook could be worth as much as $12.5 billion in an IPO.

by dookeyboy December 6, 2010

Vulcan

A race of pointy-eared ancient humanoids, the most famous of whom is Spock, from a planet of the same name in the Star Trek series. The word could also be used by James T. Kirk to express shock or disbelief in any of Spock's logical thoughts or behaviors that were not clearly comprehended by the Captain.

Kirk: "Doctor, go ask that green slimeball thing if it's possible a human being could have sex with its species."

Doctor: "Damnit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a sex therapist!"

Spock: "I am afraid the Doctor is right, Jim. That would be completely illogical."

Kirk: "Spock, you're questioning my orders?! Are you out of your Vulcan (fuckin') mind?!"

by dookeyboy December 5, 2010

mama grizzly

A dim-witted, wannabe fierce woman politician from Alaska who unjustifiably accuses the lame stream media of personal attacks against her "cubs," and thus feels the need to appear regularly on Faux News to protect them from any schizophrenically perceived gotcha journalism.

Mama grizzly incorrectly believes that millions of her kind exist, but to date only one has ever revealed itself to humankind.

See also Mooselini, Gorilla from Wasilla, and Caribou Barbie.

After her media appearance in Wasilla, mama grizzly went salmon fishing so she could feed her cubs.

by dookeyboy November 22, 2010