19 definitions by Mjolnir12982
This is a deviant sexual maneuver that requires two people, a chair, and a pickle at least 7 inches in length. Person A positions the chair so that the back is flat against the floor, then proceeds to sit in it and masturbate rigorously. Person B inserts the pickle into their own rectum, then squats over person A's face and urinates in their mouth comma otherwise known as the Chickpee. Then, person B remove the pickle from their own rectum and inserted into person A's asshole, while A, still masturbating furiously, does their best impression of Terri Schiavo/Christopher Reeves/ Stephen Hawking, completing the second part of the process known as pickling the vegetable. Finally, just as person A is about to climax, B violently rips the pickle from the other person's ass comma throws it directly into their face causing a broken nose, screams Allahu Akbar infidel, and leaves to go Crusade the Holy Land.
Randy - dude what the fuck happened to your nose?
Darwin - Vegeta gave me an awful falafel last night, I knew that Sandy turban-wearing cameltoe bitch was fucking dirty but I didn't know she was that dirty! I hope president Trump bombs whatever third world shitbox her and her family are from!!!
Randy - give him time
Darwin - Vegeta gave me an awful falafel last night, I knew that Sandy turban-wearing cameltoe bitch was fucking dirty but I didn't know she was that dirty! I hope president Trump bombs whatever third world shitbox her and her family are from!!!
Randy - give him time
by Mjolnir12982 April 17, 2017
Rigid Shit Sticks:
1) when you are deadleg shit shuffling to the toilet and feel your bowels starting to leak through your asshole, you stand a locking all joints in both legs, waiting for that Mondo dook the bubble is way backed up into your lower intestines until you get to the toilet
2) natural reaction of luberal dimocunt letfist assholes whenever they piss and moan about inconsequential bullshit like gun control, only to be rebuked by facts and logic from Trump supporters, and having no natural logical counter argument they revert to playing the race card, only realize that they played that fucking violin solo for so long it's now in the public domain!
1) when you are deadleg shit shuffling to the toilet and feel your bowels starting to leak through your asshole, you stand a locking all joints in both legs, waiting for that Mondo dook the bubble is way backed up into your lower intestines until you get to the toilet
2) natural reaction of luberal dimocunt letfist assholes whenever they piss and moan about inconsequential bullshit like gun control, only to be rebuked by facts and logic from Trump supporters, and having no natural logical counter argument they revert to playing the race card, only realize that they played that fucking violin solo for so long it's now in the public domain!
I love watching all the letfist, luberal, dimocunt Rigid Shit Sticks that occur when they get called out on their bullshit
by Mjolnir12982 February 28, 2018
An old Thai pastime involving at least four participants, two of whom must be male, a few spare chromosomes, and at least two viagra.
First the two males in question must buttfuck the other two participants for an equal, aforementioned period of time, without climaxing. Then, they must pull their shitdicks out and stand helmet to helmet, hands behind their backs, and swordfish the using only their hips, creating a meatsaber duel not unlike Luke vs Vader in Return of the Jedi. Neither can move their feet, or use any part of their body but their Dicks. First to quit, fall to a knee in pain, or breaks formation, loses, and must blow the victor.
First the two males in question must buttfuck the other two participants for an equal, aforementioned period of time, without climaxing. Then, they must pull their shitdicks out and stand helmet to helmet, hands behind their backs, and swordfish the using only their hips, creating a meatsaber duel not unlike Luke vs Vader in Return of the Jedi. Neither can move their feet, or use any part of their body but their Dicks. First to quit, fall to a knee in pain, or breaks formation, loses, and must blow the victor.
If you have never witnesses a game of Chocolate-Frosted Tummy-Sticks, no example will do it justice...
by Mjolnir12982 October 19, 2016
The act of quickly making one's way to the toilet with one or both legs completely locked at all joints in an effort to compress the rectum/anus, and avoid dropping a mondo shit in one's pants (see chocolate shotgun, shart, or shitney spears). Most frequently occurs within 15 mins of eating a hot pocket, or Chipotle.
I told Linda that chorizo looked suspect! Now we can trace her deadleg shit shuffle by following the brown trail!
by Mjolnir12982 August 18, 2016
To properly perform the danger yank, one must pop a cialis/adderol combo, watch a Golden girls rerun at full volume, get into a wallsquat position without any pants on, and jerk it with a two-finger-overhead-away-from-the-brain quick stroke, attempting to climax before knees lock or your significant other enters the room...
If there was an awkward breakup conversation to be had before this point, you've just bypassed it... Congratulation Jism.
If there was an awkward breakup conversation to be had before this point, you've just bypassed it... Congratulation Jism.
Tommy packed his car the night before Liz caught him mid Danger Yank. She wasn't even finished dialing her mom for tearful advice before he had the Datsun in gear, driving away from her bullshit. Glorious.
by Mjolnir12982 January 15, 2017
A fraternity initiation in which four young men stand in a circle facing counterclockwise with their pants around their ankles and stick their right thumbs up the ass of the person in front of them and suck on their left thumb. They then march in a circle while some cheesy music like the song they used to torture Daryl on The Walking Dead plays, until someone shouts "switch" at which point they switch directions and thumbs. Rinse and repeat.
I was pledging for Chi Phi and they made us pull the Mississauga Switch for an hour. I'll never listen to EASY STREET again. Chi Phi eats too much corn...
by Mjolnir12982 April 3, 2017
Based upon the introductory social practice of gripping another's phallus in an overhand fashion, and providing an unrequested and unsanitary, yet meaty, sweaty, and oddly satisfying handjob, engaged in by boy scout masters to their pledges once their parents' minivans get lost on the horizon. May also be accompanied by a frigid and unsolicited finger in the anus or a halitosis-laden and toothy rimjob. Because hey, Traps are gay, but a mouth is a mouthand 20 bucks is twenty bucks.
Look man I have a buyer lined up for the drugs! You gonna tell me where they are? Or you wanna give me the ol' Scoutmaster's Handshake all day!?!
by Mjolnir12982 October 31, 2018