Metallicajunkie's definitions

Google Images

The only known way (thus far) to look are pornography on the internet, and not give your computer a crap ton of viruses in the process

Mike: Hey Fred, are you using Google Images?
Fred: No Mike! What makes you think that?
Mike: That glistening handkerchief on the floor gave you away dude...

by Metallicajunkie October 17, 2018

Miley's Law

A law that was put into place in 2013 that protects foam fingers from any form of sexual harassment or sexual assault, named in honor of a foam finger, who because of a horrifying assault on live TV, is still in therapy to this day

Millions of foam fingers will be safe, thanks to Miley's Law

by Metallicajunkie October 18, 2018

MTV

A TV channel that was once defined by showing awesome and entertaining music videos, concerts and live performances made by talented artists in music. Now it's nothing but an asinine joke defined by teenage pregnancy, annoying Italian Americans, and completely shitty noise disguised as music videos (which RARELY make appearances).

I wouldn't watch MTV even if you paid me

by Metallicajunkie October 9, 2018

Jack and Jill

A "comedy" movie so horrendously awful, that (unless you're a rabid, and I mean RABID Adam Sandler fan) you'll want to hang yourself about 30 minutes in. It basically stars Adam Sandler and Adam Sandler in drag, and what follows in 90 minutes of brain melting, eye gouging cinematic regurgitation.

How bad is it you ask? Well, consider this. This movie was one of the films featured at the 2012 Razzie Awards...it won EVERY SINGLE GOD DAMN AWARD.......that's how bad it is

I'd rather remove my tonsils with a pair of nail clippers then watch Jack and Jill

by Metallicajunkie October 16, 2018

Selena'd

The act of being killed by someone who greatly admires you and/or is obsessed with you, much like Tejano singer Selena

Anna Kendrick didn't return my affections, so I Selena'd her sorry ass!

by Metallicajunkie October 10, 2018

New England Patriots

A football team reserved for players who can't play football without cheating in some way, whether it be spying on other teams' strategies, deflating the footballs before a game, or paying off the referees so they'll totally be on your side, even if you commit the most blatant fouls ever seen. They are also the sworn enemies of the New York Giants, who stomped their asses at the Superbowl TWICE, something that Patriot fans will be stewing over until they leave this earth.

Sure my team lost, but at least we don't have to cheat like the New England Patriots

by Metallicajunkie October 5, 2018

Strawberry Teabag

Another name for a tampon that has been used

Kyle: Hey Dan, is your sister on her period?
Dan: How the hell did you know?
Kyle: Because there's a strawberry teabag in the trash

by Metallicajunkie October 4, 2018