MastaRoe's definitions

Badassitious

(bad-ass-EESH-us)

Of, relating to, or having the characteristics of a badass.

Used in a video titled, “The Top Five Things With Which Jason Bourne Could Beat Your Ass” along with Badassery, Badassedness, Badassity, Badasstic, Badassical, Badassitudinous, Mucho Badasstico, and Badassiticity

Jason Bourne disarmed a man who had a kitchen knife using only a rolled-up magazine. That was badassitious!

by MastaRoe July 10, 2011

Fuck up the Donuts

To prevent coworkers from receiving a cheap incentive (often free donuts) proposed by their employer in exchange for being “accident free” for a prescribed period of time. Such miniscule incentives often inadvertently encourage employees not to report potentially serious injuries and not to visit doctors on the company’s dime, for fear of hostility of coworkers who have by now begun to value such incentives above each other’s well-being.

Guy 1: Ouch, I think I cut my hand. I’m going to have to report it to management.
Guy 2: Oh great, now we’re going to be back to 0 days accident free. Way to fuck up the donuts!

Guy 1: Yeah she slipped and fell. It broke her neck.
Guy 2: So what? We were only 3 days away from free donuts and she fucked it up.
Guy 1: Here come the EMTs with her now.
Guy 2: Way to fuck up the donuts, lady! Thanks a lot!

Guy 1: Dude, you’re bleeding like a stuck pig!
Guy 2: I’ll be fine. Just give me some paper towels and duct tape. Hurry, before a manager sees this and makes me report it. I don’t want to fuck up the donuts.

by MastaRoe July 10, 2011

Smith Center, KS

A town in north central Kansas whose population is under 2000 people. It's a good place to live if you enjoy being bored off your ass. Those who are good at sports and/or are related to members of the Chamber of Commerce, City Council, and School Board find growing up in Smith Center to to be quite enjoyable. Everyone else describes the experience as being akin to that of Hester Prynne in The Scarlet Letter. There are a few good teachers there but the High School prefers to employ coaches who try to squeeze in a little teaching on the side. Most residents have nothing better to do than pry in other people's business. People there will be nice to your face for the most part, but they will talk shit on you the minute you turn your back. Also, if you're ever there be sure to visit one of the 75 churches.

Home of the Smith Center Redmen

Guy 1: Dude are you from Smith Center, KS?

Guy 2: Yeah. I was good at sports so I slept through school and still graduated.

Guy 1: I'm from there too. One time a teacher told me to sit in the colored section.

Guy 2: After I graduated I realized I was destined to fail at life so I stayed there where people still think I'm awesome.

Guy 1: I left and never looked back. Now I'm successful and happy.

by MastaRoe February 6, 2010

neobrat quickpost cryptics

People whose posts in public forums, in the interest of saving time (at most a matter of seconds), are severely abbreviated and mispunctuated (often via a quickpost application) to the point where they are barely intelligible, if at all. Sometimes these people cannot spell or read to begin with, and they insist on using slang and/or all caps. The nightmarish "finished product" of such posts may actually cause the astute reader to experience migraines and epileptic seizures. I first heard the term used by OwlHoot on sci.tech-archive.net.

neobrat quickpost cryptic 1: 4xampl,thos who rite lik this.u get it,the worse of the worse,tho there r
other xampls not as bad.want more neobrat quickpost virtuosities sent 2 u? (OwlHoot)

neobrat quickpost cryptic 2: LMFAO...@ THESE BRAWDZ...DELET ME BLOK ME...IDGAF...BUT I TELL U ONE THING WHEN SEE DONT UTTER TO YO TO SAY SHYT 2 ME...DNT TRY TO ACT LIKE WE FAM OR FRENDS...CUZ I DNT FUC WIT BOOGI ASS HOES ANY WAY! SO KEEP MINE UP OUT YO MOUF...CUZ I WILL MAKE A TRIP! IT AINT NEVA EEN NO HO N ME! NOW RUN TELL DAT! SHO (lamebook)

by MastaRoe October 18, 2010

Management Drone

A facsimile of a manager who mindlessly follows orders from upper management regardless of how ridiculous, arbitrary, contradictory, or counterproductive they may be. If an employee attempts to point out the flaws in one of an MD’s painfully short-sighted and dim-witted decisions, an MD will either continuously repeat one of their several pre-programmed phrases until the employee gives up on the argument, or they will respond with only a blank stare that seems to say “error, file not found.” To say that a MD is a puppet is to insult the freethinking and decision-making abilities of a puppet. MD's have absolutely no job-related skills or people skills. They are often seen wandering aimlessly among employees and customers. If asked for help, they will automatically find the nearest employee and make them help the customer so as to appear preoccupied and attempt to conceal their monumental incompetence. Many times MD's will turn to employees for help with things that should in fact be required of management to know. They will also sometimes steal ideas of employees and make them their own usually after telling the employees the ideas were not feasible. They are the source of all miscommunication, stress, failures, and negativity in the workplace, yet are never fired. MD's can be found in nearly every major corporation and, like roaches, will probably never be totally eradicated. Not to be confused with actual (good) managers.

MD: Hey, why isn't Bill here?
Employee: Why are you asking me? Didn't you make the schedule? If he called in it's not like he'd talk to me, he'd have to talk to you.
MD: But, where is he?
Employee: I don't know! Anyway it doesn't matter, he's not here.
MD: But he should be, shouldn't he?
Employee: I give up.

MD: We're going to put labels on the items we're selling near this display.
Employee: Hey, I had that idea a month ago. You told me it would look tacky.
MD: *blank stare*

MD: I need you to stay late because we're getting busy. You have to take a long lunch though so you don't get any overtime.
Employee: I wouldn't have to do that if you'd let me go early when we're not busy instead of giving me a bunch of meaningless busy work.
MD: Yeah... well we need you to stay late because we're busy. You have to take--
Employee: SHUT UP! You're the reason people get shot at work by disgruntled employees.

Employee 1: There goes Pete, isn't he a manager?
Employee 2: No, he's just a management drone. Get Sherri, she's an actual manager.

by MastaRoe March 21, 2011

Shitty Lips

A term used to berate someone. It alludes to that person’s affinity for licking and/or kissing bare, unwashed assholes.

Nice shot, shitty lips! You totally missed!

You think you're man enough to take me, shitty lips?

Way to fuck everything up, shitty lips!

by MastaRoe May 15, 2011

Bling Smacks

Another name for money

Shit yeah, I made like 25 bling smacks on deliveries tonight. We're getting drunk!

I just got my tax refund so I'm swimming in bling smacks.

I'm feeling that new video game, how many bling smacks is it gonna run me?

by MastaRoe May 15, 2011