MastaRoe's definitions

Smith Center Redmen

One of the most successful high school football teams ever. Because of their success Smith Center has gained national recognition several times in the past few years. Many people believe the Redmen abuse steroids and continue to perpetuate that rumor. However those people are typically whiney crybaby bitch-boys who are tired of getting beaten by the awesome fury that is the Redmen. In fact if those people spent as much time practicing, lifting weights, and studying game films as they spend making excuses and sucking each other off they might win a game every once in a while. Ironically, Smith Center's boys basketball team (made up of many football players) was for years among the worst in the league. Thereby refuting the steroids argument. Many teams accuse the Redmen of "playing dirty" and intentionally hurting opponents by "hitting too hard". But it turns out that football is a CONTACT SPORT and hitting is actually part of the game. If those teams wanted to play touch football (clothes optional) they should have formed their own pansy ass league.

Guy 1: Dude, the Smith Center Redmen only win because they're on steroids.

Guy 2: Doesn't that mean that everyone who's beaten them is also on steroids?

Guy 1: No, the teams that beat the Redmen do so because they work hard.

Guy 2: But the Redmen work hard too, they lift weights and train all year around. They adhere to a code of conduct and honor and are taught to work together. You can't just chalk it up to steroids.

Guy 1: No, they're just on steroids.

Guy 2: You're a fucking idiot.

Guy 1: Making excuses is easier than working hard.

Guy 2: Being a Redman is easier than being a pussy.

by MastaRoe February 6, 2010

Ten-Year-Old Man

A male in their early twenties to late thirties who is thus technically an adult but has the mentality of a ten-year-old boy. Rather than being a productive member of society, i.e. seeking employment and paying taxes, he chooses to live with his parents, sit on his ass, play video games, and talk shit on the internet. He thinks people who slave away at jobs they hate all day are fools, but, in fact, when his parents either die or kick his sorry ass into the street and he realizes he has the survival skills of a disfigured newborn baby bird, he'll see the joke is on him.

Also known as a 30-Year-Old Boy.

Productive member of society: Why don't you grow up and move out of your parents' house?
Ten-Year-Old Man: Because I don't have to and I know how good I have it. You shouldn't have moved out, dummy-head!
Productive member of society: Right, enjoy having to be quiet after 10pm and asking for gas money to drive to the mall and drool over girls who are by now half your age.

Ten-Year-Old Man: I don't know what my problem is with girls.
Productive member of society: Gee, let me think, oh maybe it's because you're a 25-year-old man who still lives at home.
Ten-Year-Old Man: What's wrong with that? I save money that way.
Productive member of society: Girls want someone who can actually provide for himself, not someone who's too scared to leave the nest. Also, if the opportunity to have sex DID present itself, they don't want to have it on your parents' couch.

Ten-Year-Old Man: How do you do dishes?
Productive member of society: What do you mean, don't you do dishes at home?
Ten-Year-Old Man: No, my mom does them.
Productive member of society: Your mom? Aren't you like 30 years old? No wonder nobody likes you.
Ten-Year-Old Man: Oh yeah, log on to World of Warcraft and say that shit!
Productive member of society: Whatever, loser.

by MastaRoe March 21, 2011

Shitty Lips

A term used to berate someone. It alludes to that person’s affinity for licking and/or kissing bare, unwashed assholes.

Nice shot, shitty lips! You totally missed!

You think you're man enough to take me, shitty lips?

Way to fuck everything up, shitty lips!

by MastaRoe May 15, 2011

Puffy-Chest

A posture characterized by clenched fists, slightly bent arms at the sides, eyes forward, scowl on face, and chest thrust out sometimes accompanied by strutting. Often assumed by guys when they’re either trying to impress a female or assert alpha male status. Can be seen frequently at bars, weight rooms, swimming pools, co-ed sports events, and other such places where there is likely to be a gathering of both males and females. Typically employed by jocks, frat boys, and various other assholes.

Oh no, here comes Jim. I hate seeing him when there are females around because he gets all puffy-chested and turns into a giant dick.

You ever noticed how when it's just guys lifting in here Bill is alright, but if there's girls in here he goes puffy-chest and tries to lift twice as much weight.

See how Joe just struts around the pool and never actually gets in? He's got puffy-chest.

by MastaRoe May 15, 2011

Management Drone

A facsimile of a manager who mindlessly follows orders from upper management regardless of how ridiculous, arbitrary, contradictory, or counterproductive they may be. If an employee attempts to point out the flaws in one of an MD’s painfully short-sighted and dim-witted decisions, an MD will either continuously repeat one of their several pre-programmed phrases until the employee gives up on the argument, or they will respond with only a blank stare that seems to say “error, file not found.” To say that a MD is a puppet is to insult the freethinking and decision-making abilities of a puppet. MD's have absolutely no job-related skills or people skills. They are often seen wandering aimlessly among employees and customers. If asked for help, they will automatically find the nearest employee and make them help the customer so as to appear preoccupied and attempt to conceal their monumental incompetence. Many times MD's will turn to employees for help with things that should in fact be required of management to know. They will also sometimes steal ideas of employees and make them their own usually after telling the employees the ideas were not feasible. They are the source of all miscommunication, stress, failures, and negativity in the workplace, yet are never fired. MD's can be found in nearly every major corporation and, like roaches, will probably never be totally eradicated. Not to be confused with actual (good) managers.

MD: Hey, why isn't Bill here?
Employee: Why are you asking me? Didn't you make the schedule? If he called in it's not like he'd talk to me, he'd have to talk to you.
MD: But, where is he?
Employee: I don't know! Anyway it doesn't matter, he's not here.
MD: But he should be, shouldn't he?
Employee: I give up.

MD: We're going to put labels on the items we're selling near this display.
Employee: Hey, I had that idea a month ago. You told me it would look tacky.
MD: *blank stare*

MD: I need you to stay late because we're getting busy. You have to take a long lunch though so you don't get any overtime.
Employee: I wouldn't have to do that if you'd let me go early when we're not busy instead of giving me a bunch of meaningless busy work.
MD: Yeah... well we need you to stay late because we're busy. You have to take--
Employee: SHUT UP! You're the reason people get shot at work by disgruntled employees.

Employee 1: There goes Pete, isn't he a manager?
Employee 2: No, he's just a management drone. Get Sherri, she's an actual manager.

by MastaRoe March 21, 2011

neobrat quickpost cryptics

People whose posts in public forums, in the interest of saving time (at most a matter of seconds), are severely abbreviated and mispunctuated (often via a quickpost application) to the point where they are barely intelligible, if at all. Sometimes these people cannot spell or read to begin with, and they insist on using slang and/or all caps. The nightmarish "finished product" of such posts may actually cause the astute reader to experience migraines and epileptic seizures. I first heard the term used by OwlHoot on sci.tech-archive.net.

neobrat quickpost cryptic 1: 4xampl,thos who rite lik this.u get it,the worse of the worse,tho there r
other xampls not as bad.want more neobrat quickpost virtuosities sent 2 u? (OwlHoot)

neobrat quickpost cryptic 2: LMFAO...@ THESE BRAWDZ...DELET ME BLOK ME...IDGAF...BUT I TELL U ONE THING WHEN SEE DONT UTTER TO YO TO SAY SHYT 2 ME...DNT TRY TO ACT LIKE WE FAM OR FRENDS...CUZ I DNT FUC WIT BOOGI ASS HOES ANY WAY! SO KEEP MINE UP OUT YO MOUF...CUZ I WILL MAKE A TRIP! IT AINT NEVA EEN NO HO N ME! NOW RUN TELL DAT! SHO (lamebook)

by MastaRoe October 18, 2010

Bling Smacks

Another name for money

Shit yeah, I made like 25 bling smacks on deliveries tonight. We're getting drunk!

I just got my tax refund so I'm swimming in bling smacks.

I'm feeling that new video game, how many bling smacks is it gonna run me?

by MastaRoe May 15, 2011