Definitions by MastaRoe
Fuck up the Donuts
To prevent coworkers from receiving a cheap incentive (often free donuts) proposed by their employer in exchange for being “accident free” for a prescribed period of time. Such miniscule incentives often inadvertently encourage employees not to report potentially serious injuries and not to visit doctors on the company’s dime, for fear of hostility of coworkers who have by now begun to value such incentives above each other’s well-being.
Guy 1: Ouch, I think I cut my hand. I’m going to have to report it to management.
Guy 2: Oh great, now we’re going to be back to 0 days accident free. Way to fuck up the donuts!
Guy 1: Yeah she slipped and fell. It broke her neck.
Guy 2: So what? We were only 3 days away from free donuts and she fucked it up.
Guy 1: Here come the EMTs with her now.
Guy 2: Way to fuck up the donuts, lady! Thanks a lot!
Guy 1: Dude, you’re bleeding like a stuck pig!
Guy 2: I’ll be fine. Just give me some paper towels and duct tape. Hurry, before a manager sees this and makes me report it. I don’t want to fuck up the donuts.
Guy 2: Oh great, now we’re going to be back to 0 days accident free. Way to fuck up the donuts!
Guy 1: Yeah she slipped and fell. It broke her neck.
Guy 2: So what? We were only 3 days away from free donuts and she fucked it up.
Guy 1: Here come the EMTs with her now.
Guy 2: Way to fuck up the donuts, lady! Thanks a lot!
Guy 1: Dude, you’re bleeding like a stuck pig!
Guy 2: I’ll be fine. Just give me some paper towels and duct tape. Hurry, before a manager sees this and makes me report it. I don’t want to fuck up the donuts.
Fuck up the Donuts by MastaRoe July 10, 2011
Head Noise
The intense thoughts in one’s head, often due to anxiety, stress, or elation, which seem to be louder than and may cause one to be unresponsive to one’s environment.
“Be home by ten.” “What?” “I said be home by ten.” “Sorry, I’m so excited for tonight I couldn’t hear you over my head noise.”
“The teacher said you only have to study the first two chapters.” “He never said that!” “Yeah he did, he was standing right by you when he said it.” “Oh, I don’t know why I didn’t hear that part. I’m so stressed about this assignment.” “I guess your head noise drowned him out.”
“Hmm, what?” “Seriously dude? We’ve been talking to you for like 5 minutes.” “Sorry, I was daydreaming. The head noise was up full blast.”
“The teacher said you only have to study the first two chapters.” “He never said that!” “Yeah he did, he was standing right by you when he said it.” “Oh, I don’t know why I didn’t hear that part. I’m so stressed about this assignment.” “I guess your head noise drowned him out.”
“Hmm, what?” “Seriously dude? We’ve been talking to you for like 5 minutes.” “Sorry, I was daydreaming. The head noise was up full blast.”
Head Noise by MastaRoe July 10, 2011
Skunk
A skank who has graduated above and beyond normal skankhood. She as reached the point where people psychosomatically detect a faint odor about her that is not unlike that of a skunk. Even when washed, well dressed, and presentable she still has a dirty and undesirable air about her.
“Her body is actually not bad, but for some reason I cannot bring myself to call her ‘attractive’. Why is that?” “She’s a skunk.” “Ah yes, you’ve nailed it.” “But I wouldn’t nail her.”
“She was all over this dude at the bar and when he went to the bathroom, she was trying to feel up on this guy shooting pool. But when he took his shot, she grabbed the other player’s ass. What a skunk.”
“She was all over this dude at the bar and when he went to the bathroom, she was trying to feel up on this guy shooting pool. But when he took his shot, she grabbed the other player’s ass. What a skunk.”
Puffy-Chest
A posture characterized by clenched fists, slightly bent arms at the sides, eyes forward, scowl on face, and chest thrust out sometimes accompanied by strutting. Often assumed by guys when they’re either trying to impress a female or assert alpha male status. Can be seen frequently at bars, weight rooms, swimming pools, co-ed sports events, and other such places where there is likely to be a gathering of both males and females. Typically employed by jocks, frat boys, and various other assholes.
Oh no, here comes Jim. I hate seeing him when there are females around because he gets all puffy-chested and turns into a giant dick.
You ever noticed how when it's just guys lifting in here Bill is alright, but if there's girls in here he goes puffy-chest and tries to lift twice as much weight.
See how Joe just struts around the pool and never actually gets in? He's got puffy-chest.
You ever noticed how when it's just guys lifting in here Bill is alright, but if there's girls in here he goes puffy-chest and tries to lift twice as much weight.
See how Joe just struts around the pool and never actually gets in? He's got puffy-chest.
Puffy-Chest by MastaRoe May 15, 2011
Bling Smacks
Shit yeah, I made like 25 bling smacks on deliveries tonight. We're getting drunk!
I just got my tax refund so I'm swimming in bling smacks.
I'm feeling that new video game, how many bling smacks is it gonna run me?
I just got my tax refund so I'm swimming in bling smacks.
I'm feeling that new video game, how many bling smacks is it gonna run me?
Bling Smacks by MastaRoe May 15, 2011
Shitty Lips
A term used to berate someone. It alludes to that person’s affinity for licking and/or kissing bare, unwashed assholes.
Nice shot, shitty lips! You totally missed!
You think you're man enough to take me, shitty lips?
Way to fuck everything up, shitty lips!
You think you're man enough to take me, shitty lips?
Way to fuck everything up, shitty lips!
Shitty Lips by MastaRoe May 15, 2011
Schwank
Everybody was hanging out with their systems going then Tom pulled up bumping his Schwanks. What a loser.
Wow, those are some homemade looking speakers you got. What are those, Schwanks?
Whatever, your beats are so lame you couldn't get sponsored by Schwank Audio.
Wow, those are some homemade looking speakers you got. What are those, Schwanks?
Whatever, your beats are so lame you couldn't get sponsored by Schwank Audio.