Klopek007's definitions
A long distance bandwagon fan is a specific variety of bandwagon fan. Typical bandwagon fans are local, they ignore the particular sport altogether when their local team is doing poorly, and suddenly become superfans when they're doing well. Meanwhile, long distance bandwagon fans will become superfans of any team in the country when they're doing well, and then just as quickly pick a different team when the tables are turned.
They are often spotted wearing team merchandise which is later donated to a thrift store. Just like the regular bandwagon fans, they will swear that they've always liked their current team du jure, and vehemently deny ever being a fan of any other team.
They are often spotted wearing team merchandise which is later donated to a thrift store. Just like the regular bandwagon fans, they will swear that they've always liked their current team du jure, and vehemently deny ever being a fan of any other team.
Some prime examples of teams with great numbers of long distance bandwagon fans are: San Francisco 49ers in the 80s, Edmonton Oilers in the 80s, Dallas Cowboys in the 90s, Chicago Bulls in the 90s, Atlanta Braves in the 90s and early 2000s, New York Yankees in the late 90s and 2000s, and Indianapolis Colts in the 2000s.
LDBF: I love the Yankees! Those are my boys and always have been! I'm soooooo lucky that my favorite team is so good!!!
REALIST: Yeah, ok. Luck has nothing to do with it. You live in Kansas, you've never travelled anywhere near New York, and somehow I doubt you can name the starting lineup. You're the epitome of a long distance bandwagon fan.
LDBF: Whatever, you're just jealous because my team rulez!!!
REALIST: Right, because it would be so difficult for me to buy a Yankees hat and start calling myself a fan. <rolls eyes>
LDBF: I love the Yankees! Those are my boys and always have been! I'm soooooo lucky that my favorite team is so good!!!
REALIST: Yeah, ok. Luck has nothing to do with it. You live in Kansas, you've never travelled anywhere near New York, and somehow I doubt you can name the starting lineup. You're the epitome of a long distance bandwagon fan.
LDBF: Whatever, you're just jealous because my team rulez!!!
REALIST: Right, because it would be so difficult for me to buy a Yankees hat and start calling myself a fan. <rolls eyes>
by klopek007 January 24, 2010
Get the long distance bandwagon fan mug.The theory that gay people in the United States enjoy living on this tips of peninsulas, which is quite possibly a subconscious phallic desire. For proof, look at three different cities: San Francisco, Provincetown, and Key West. All three are known for high percentages of gay residents, thriving gay tourism, and prominent gay pride parades; and all three are located at the tips of peninsulas.
Granted, Key West is technically part of an archipelago and not a peninsula, but US Route 1 connects the entire island chain to the mainland, so for practical intents and purposes, the keys form a peninsula.
Granted, Key West is technically part of an archipelago and not a peninsula, but US Route 1 connects the entire island chain to the mainland, so for practical intents and purposes, the keys form a peninsula.
No doubt uptight ignorant people will cry "homophobia" when they read this, but there is nothing offensive about gay peninsula theory.
by klopek007 March 14, 2010
Get the gay peninsula theory mug.Plumper is a term used by women who want to feel good about their unhealthy obesity because they're too lazy to diet and exercise. Unfortunately for them, they won't have very long to enjoy feeling good about being fat, as they will likely be dead from a massive coronary before the age of 50.
It's no surprise that the term plumper was invented in the United States. Because, sadly, we have BY FAR the highest obesity rate on the planet. And instead of solving the problem, we invent terms like this so that people feel good about themselves, even when they get winded by waddling to the freezer for their daily quart of ice cream.
On the upside, those of us in decent shape are becoming more of a rarity, and are therefore more desirable and sought after than the fat masses.
On the upside, those of us in decent shape are becoming more of a rarity, and are therefore more desirable and sought after than the fat masses.
by klopek007 May 20, 2008
Get the plumper mug.When a candidate for public office calls herself a huge fan of the much-beloved local sports team, and then gives a radio interview where she states that a celebrated hero alumnus of the aforementioned team is a fan of the bitterly-hated rivalry team, thus costing herself countless votes from people who don't feel she's a true Masshole.
She really Coakleyed that election beyond any possible recovery when she called Curt Schilling a Yankees fan. She may be from Pittsfield, which is at the opposite end of the state from Boston, but that's no excuse . . . d'oh!
by klopek007 January 31, 2010
Get the Coakleyed mug.While it may one day be possible in the future, sex change is but a myth in this day and age. Even though it is legally recognized, so-called "sex change surgery" is in reality nothing more than genital mutilation and body modification followed by hormone treatments.
It goes by many fanciful, inventive, politically correct names: sex reassignment surgery, sex reassignment therapy, gender reassignment, genital reconstruction surgery, or sex affirmation surgery.
But the pure and simple fact is that people conceived with XX chromosomes are female, and people conceived with XY chromosomes are male. There is currently no known medical procedure to change this in any way. Changing sex will be possible when and if such technology is developed, but until such time it remains a myth.
It goes by many fanciful, inventive, politically correct names: sex reassignment surgery, sex reassignment therapy, gender reassignment, genital reconstruction surgery, or sex affirmation surgery.
But the pure and simple fact is that people conceived with XX chromosomes are female, and people conceived with XY chromosomes are male. There is currently no known medical procedure to change this in any way. Changing sex will be possible when and if such technology is developed, but until such time it remains a myth.
Normal Man: Sorry, but you were born a man, and I'm strictly heterosexual, therefore I want nothing to do with you.
Disfigured Man: But I had sex change surgery! I'm legally a woman now!
Normal Man: No, you're just a feminine-looking man with XY chromosomes and mutilated genitals. Not interested.
Disfigured Man: But I had sex change surgery! I'm legally a woman now!
Normal Man: No, you're just a feminine-looking man with XY chromosomes and mutilated genitals. Not interested.
by klopek007 March 24, 2010
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