Klopek007's definitions
Achy Breaky Hannah is a name for the process which that hot little piece of jailbait Miley Cyrus and/or her pointless alter-ego will soon undergo. Following in the footsteps of Britney Spears, her weight will balloon up, she'll get knocked up by a trailer-trash wigger and drink heavily during the pregnancy, make numerous public appearances going commando in a short dress, enter/quit rehab at least five times, and finally be found in bed one morning with an empty bottle of pills and an empty bottle of rum.
Once Miley completes the long process of Achy Breaky Hannah, she'll just be yet another one of the garden-variety pop-stars who all sound exactly alike and yet somehow draw tons of pre-teen fans. At least it's still a bigger accomplishment than her one-hit-wonder father.
by klopek007 January 26, 2010
Get the Achy Breaky Hannah mug.A long distance bandwagon fan is a specific variety of bandwagon fan. Typical bandwagon fans are local, they ignore the particular sport altogether when their local team is doing poorly, and suddenly become superfans when they're doing well. Meanwhile, long distance bandwagon fans will become superfans of any team in the country when they're doing well, and then just as quickly pick a different team when the tables are turned.
They are often spotted wearing team merchandise which is later donated to a thrift store. Just like the regular bandwagon fans, they will swear that they've always liked their current team du jure, and vehemently deny ever being a fan of any other team.
They are often spotted wearing team merchandise which is later donated to a thrift store. Just like the regular bandwagon fans, they will swear that they've always liked their current team du jure, and vehemently deny ever being a fan of any other team.
Some prime examples of teams with great numbers of long distance bandwagon fans are: San Francisco 49ers in the 80s, Edmonton Oilers in the 80s, Dallas Cowboys in the 90s, Chicago Bulls in the 90s, Atlanta Braves in the 90s and early 2000s, New York Yankees in the late 90s and 2000s, and Indianapolis Colts in the 2000s.
LDBF: I love the Yankees! Those are my boys and always have been! I'm soooooo lucky that my favorite team is so good!!!
REALIST: Yeah, ok. Luck has nothing to do with it. You live in Kansas, you've never travelled anywhere near New York, and somehow I doubt you can name the starting lineup. You're the epitome of a long distance bandwagon fan.
LDBF: Whatever, you're just jealous because my team rulez!!!
REALIST: Right, because it would be so difficult for me to buy a Yankees hat and start calling myself a fan. <rolls eyes>
LDBF: I love the Yankees! Those are my boys and always have been! I'm soooooo lucky that my favorite team is so good!!!
REALIST: Yeah, ok. Luck has nothing to do with it. You live in Kansas, you've never travelled anywhere near New York, and somehow I doubt you can name the starting lineup. You're the epitome of a long distance bandwagon fan.
LDBF: Whatever, you're just jealous because my team rulez!!!
REALIST: Right, because it would be so difficult for me to buy a Yankees hat and start calling myself a fan. <rolls eyes>
by klopek007 January 24, 2010
Get the long distance bandwagon fan mug.The theory that gay people in the United States enjoy living on this tips of peninsulas, which is quite possibly a subconscious phallic desire. For proof, look at three different cities: San Francisco, Provincetown, and Key West. All three are known for high percentages of gay residents, thriving gay tourism, and prominent gay pride parades; and all three are located at the tips of peninsulas.
Granted, Key West is technically part of an archipelago and not a peninsula, but US Route 1 connects the entire island chain to the mainland, so for practical intents and purposes, the keys form a peninsula.
Granted, Key West is technically part of an archipelago and not a peninsula, but US Route 1 connects the entire island chain to the mainland, so for practical intents and purposes, the keys form a peninsula.
No doubt uptight ignorant people will cry "homophobia" when they read this, but there is nothing offensive about gay peninsula theory.
by klopek007 March 14, 2010
Get the gay peninsula theory mug.The Westboro Baptist Church is a wretched hive of scum and villainy, they are loathsome vermin who cast a vile light on mainstream Christianity. Some people even associate them with other Christians (see WBC-itis), although it's important to note that the WBC rejects, and is rejected by, all other denominations. They claim that God hates, while other Christian denominations teach that God loves exclusively.
People call them a hate group that opposes homosexuals. In fact, they're so much more than that. In their demented minds, everyone who isn't a member of their church is either a "fag" or "fag enabler" with absolutely no exceptions. Everyone but them is going straight to hell, and God hates everyone but them.
Not only do they celebrate and disrupt the funerals of homosexuals, but they also do the same for members of the American Military who are killed in action. The irony, of course, is that the American Military are the very reason that these asswipes have the First Amendment right to spew their disgusting hate speech everywhere, and therefore they owe the military an enormous debt of gratitude, as do we all.
People call them a hate group that opposes homosexuals. In fact, they're so much more than that. In their demented minds, everyone who isn't a member of their church is either a "fag" or "fag enabler" with absolutely no exceptions. Everyone but them is going straight to hell, and God hates everyone but them.
Not only do they celebrate and disrupt the funerals of homosexuals, but they also do the same for members of the American Military who are killed in action. The irony, of course, is that the American Military are the very reason that these asswipes have the First Amendment right to spew their disgusting hate speech everywhere, and therefore they owe the military an enormous debt of gratitude, as do we all.
The WBC is perhaps the sickest and most evil group that operates within the law in this day and age. They are a putrid, infected, cancerous pustule on our great country.
At the exact opposite end of the spectrum is the FFRF, or Freedom From Religion Foundation, who seek to ban religion, and mock those who believe. Frankly, it's a shame that we can't throw these two extremist hate groups into an arena until they all end up killing each other.
At the exact opposite end of the spectrum is the FFRF, or Freedom From Religion Foundation, who seek to ban religion, and mock those who believe. Frankly, it's a shame that we can't throw these two extremist hate groups into an arena until they all end up killing each other.
by klopek007 March 3, 2010
Get the WBC mug.When a candidate for public office calls herself a huge fan of the much-beloved local sports team, and then gives a radio interview where she states that a celebrated hero alumnus of the aforementioned team is a fan of the bitterly-hated rivalry team, thus costing herself countless votes from people who don't feel she's a true Masshole.
She really Coakleyed that election beyond any possible recovery when she called Curt Schilling a Yankees fan. She may be from Pittsfield, which is at the opposite end of the state from Boston, but that's no excuse . . . d'oh!
by klopek007 January 31, 2010
Get the Coakleyed mug.An attempt by atheists to mock anyone that disagrees with them. The basic concept is a response to the logical statement: "it is impossible to prove the non-existence of a deity or deities." Essentially, supporters of the FSM concept state that it's also impossible to prove the non-existence of something completely arbitrary and ridiculous, such as a flying spaghetti monster, and thus there's no reason to believe in the FSM just for that reason alone.
Obviously the argument is extremely weak and doesn't really hold water. But what's disturbing is the utter contempt, disrespect, and intolerance (and in some cases, hatred) these people have for anyone that disagrees with them. They refuse to go by the principles of live-and-let-live and do-unto-others. They will counter this assertion by arguing that religious people never live-and-let-live and are always forcing religion onto people. This is of course false, and only applies to a very small minority of religious people (such as the nutjobs at the WBC) and thus is a prime example of smearing people with a vastly over-generalized statement.
Most won't admit it, but they resent the fact that most modern nations allow freedom of religion for all. Ultimately, they would like to see this right taken away someday.
Obviously the argument is extremely weak and doesn't really hold water. But what's disturbing is the utter contempt, disrespect, and intolerance (and in some cases, hatred) these people have for anyone that disagrees with them. They refuse to go by the principles of live-and-let-live and do-unto-others. They will counter this assertion by arguing that religious people never live-and-let-live and are always forcing religion onto people. This is of course false, and only applies to a very small minority of religious people (such as the nutjobs at the WBC) and thus is a prime example of smearing people with a vastly over-generalized statement.
Most won't admit it, but they resent the fact that most modern nations allow freedom of religion for all. Ultimately, they would like to see this right taken away someday.
The flying spaghetti monster concept is just one of very many examples of the hateful mockery that some (but certainly not all) atheists direct at religious people, which has become rampant in our society in recent decades. This frightening level of contempt, intolerance, and hatred is eerily similar to the attitudes in Germany towards Jews in the decades leading up to the Holocaust. Of course, your average German citizen would never have believed you if you told them what was eventually going to happen.
by klopek007 January 27, 2010
Get the Flying Spaghetti Monster mug.A fake news show on Comedy Central that was once really quite funny, similar to Weekend Update on SNL. However, it steadily became less and less about general news and on-location segments with crazy people, and instead became more and more about just politics, until it was little more than left wing propaganda and frankly not even remotely funny. This change was largely due to the application of the Jon Stewart formula.
Man1: Do you remember when The Daily Show used to be funny?
Man2: Just barely. I have some very foggy memories in the back of my head of what The Daily Show was like before it started sucking bigtime.
Man2: Just barely. I have some very foggy memories in the back of my head of what The Daily Show was like before it started sucking bigtime.
by klopek007 March 6, 2010
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