Klopek007's definitions
A condition that affects some atheists, though certainly not all; primarily the ones who are intolerant of religion. Essentially, they take the activities of the westboro baptist church (or WBC) and try to apply them to all Christians, or even to all religious people. The WBC is an extemist hate group, and it is very important to note that they reject, and are rejected by, all other Christian denominations.
This condition may be unintentional, and therefore born out of ignorance; or it may be intentional, and therefore born out of malice.
This condition may be unintentional, and therefore born out of ignorance; or it may be intentional, and therefore born out of malice.
Stupid person: I hate Christians! All Christians protest all the time with signs that say "God hates fags", and they always disrupt funerals and tell everyone that they're going to hell!
Smart person: No, moron, that's only the westboro baptist church, and no other Christians. You're clearly suffering from WBC-itis.
Stupid person: What? I don't understand!
Smart person: I know you don't.
Smart person: No, moron, that's only the westboro baptist church, and no other Christians. You're clearly suffering from WBC-itis.
Stupid person: What? I don't understand!
Smart person: I know you don't.
by klopek007 February 22, 2010
Get the WBC-itis mug.The theory that gay people in the United States enjoy living on this tips of peninsulas, which is quite possibly a subconscious phallic desire. For proof, look at three different cities: San Francisco, Provincetown, and Key West. All three are known for high percentages of gay residents, thriving gay tourism, and prominent gay pride parades; and all three are located at the tips of peninsulas.
Granted, Key West is technically part of an archipelago and not a peninsula, but US Route 1 connects the entire island chain to the mainland, so for practical intents and purposes, the keys form a peninsula.
Granted, Key West is technically part of an archipelago and not a peninsula, but US Route 1 connects the entire island chain to the mainland, so for practical intents and purposes, the keys form a peninsula.
No doubt uptight ignorant people will cry "homophobia" when they read this, but there is nothing offensive about gay peninsula theory.
by klopek007 March 14, 2010
Get the gay peninsula theory mug.A long distance bandwagon fan is a specific variety of bandwagon fan. Typical bandwagon fans are local, they ignore the particular sport altogether when their local team is doing poorly, and suddenly become superfans when they're doing well. Meanwhile, long distance bandwagon fans will become superfans of any team in the country when they're doing well, and then just as quickly pick a different team when the tables are turned.
They are often spotted wearing team merchandise which is later donated to a thrift store. Just like the regular bandwagon fans, they will swear that they've always liked their current team du jure, and vehemently deny ever being a fan of any other team.
They are often spotted wearing team merchandise which is later donated to a thrift store. Just like the regular bandwagon fans, they will swear that they've always liked their current team du jure, and vehemently deny ever being a fan of any other team.
Some prime examples of teams with great numbers of long distance bandwagon fans are: San Francisco 49ers in the 80s, Edmonton Oilers in the 80s, Dallas Cowboys in the 90s, Chicago Bulls in the 90s, Atlanta Braves in the 90s and early 2000s, New York Yankees in the late 90s and 2000s, and Indianapolis Colts in the 2000s.
LDBF: I love the Yankees! Those are my boys and always have been! I'm soooooo lucky that my favorite team is so good!!!
REALIST: Yeah, ok. Luck has nothing to do with it. You live in Kansas, you've never travelled anywhere near New York, and somehow I doubt you can name the starting lineup. You're the epitome of a long distance bandwagon fan.
LDBF: Whatever, you're just jealous because my team rulez!!!
REALIST: Right, because it would be so difficult for me to buy a Yankees hat and start calling myself a fan. <rolls eyes>
LDBF: I love the Yankees! Those are my boys and always have been! I'm soooooo lucky that my favorite team is so good!!!
REALIST: Yeah, ok. Luck has nothing to do with it. You live in Kansas, you've never travelled anywhere near New York, and somehow I doubt you can name the starting lineup. You're the epitome of a long distance bandwagon fan.
LDBF: Whatever, you're just jealous because my team rulez!!!
REALIST: Right, because it would be so difficult for me to buy a Yankees hat and start calling myself a fan. <rolls eyes>
by klopek007 January 24, 2010
Get the long distance bandwagon fan mug.Achy Breaky Hannah is a name for the process which that hot little piece of jailbait Miley Cyrus and/or her pointless alter-ego will soon undergo. Following in the footsteps of Britney Spears, her weight will balloon up, she'll get knocked up by a trailer-trash wigger and drink heavily during the pregnancy, make numerous public appearances going commando in a short dress, enter/quit rehab at least five times, and finally be found in bed one morning with an empty bottle of pills and an empty bottle of rum.
Once Miley completes the long process of Achy Breaky Hannah, she'll just be yet another one of the garden-variety pop-stars who all sound exactly alike and yet somehow draw tons of pre-teen fans. At least it's still a bigger accomplishment than her one-hit-wonder father.
by klopek007 January 26, 2010
Get the Achy Breaky Hannah mug.Plumper is a term used by women who want to feel good about their unhealthy obesity because they're too lazy to diet and exercise. Unfortunately for them, they won't have very long to enjoy feeling good about being fat, as they will likely be dead from a massive coronary before the age of 50.
It's no surprise that the term plumper was invented in the United States. Because, sadly, we have BY FAR the highest obesity rate on the planet. And instead of solving the problem, we invent terms like this so that people feel good about themselves, even when they get winded by waddling to the freezer for their daily quart of ice cream.
On the upside, those of us in decent shape are becoming more of a rarity, and are therefore more desirable and sought after than the fat masses.
On the upside, those of us in decent shape are becoming more of a rarity, and are therefore more desirable and sought after than the fat masses.
by klopek007 May 20, 2008
Get the plumper mug.A slogan seen on t-shirts and bumper stickers. It was made by someone who was attempting to be clever, and failed epically in that attempt. It's only used by people whose knowledge of politics is so dismally lacking, that they must boil down the entire American political system into the basic Good vs. Evil of the Harry Potter books, and associate the bad guy with the political party that they've been told to hate, even though they don't actually know why they hate it.
Anyone who, (a) has read the Harry Potter books, (b) has at least an elementary knowledge of politics and history, and (c) has an IQ above room temperature, should be able to figure out that Rowling clearly based Voldemort and his Death Eaters on Adolf Hitler and the Nazi party. Both want a totalitarian government, both wish to oppress, persecute, and exterminate those that they see as being born genetically inferior based on the "purity" of their blood. They blame all of their problems on a certain group of people. They manipulate school curriculum in order to indoctrinate children against this group. The "pure blood" motif is also very similar to the outdated British Nobility system, of which the few that remain still cling to.
Anyone who, (a) has read the Harry Potter books, (b) has at least an elementary knowledge of politics and history, and (c) has an IQ above room temperature, should be able to figure out that Rowling clearly based Voldemort and his Death Eaters on Adolf Hitler and the Nazi party. Both want a totalitarian government, both wish to oppress, persecute, and exterminate those that they see as being born genetically inferior based on the "purity" of their blood. They blame all of their problems on a certain group of people. They manipulate school curriculum in order to indoctrinate children against this group. The "pure blood" motif is also very similar to the outdated British Nobility system, of which the few that remain still cling to.
Even though you see "Republicans for Voldemort" crap everywhere, Voldemort really has nothing whatsoever to do with the Republican party of the U.S., or any other modern political party. If a comparison MUST be made, the Republicans are most like Scrimgeour: determined to protect us from terrorists, but perhaps a too heavy-handed with security. Meanwhile, Democrats are more like Fudge and Umbridge: in denial that such a big threat exists, over-regulating everything with too many rules, and dominating most media outlets.
by klopek007 February 3, 2010
Get the Republicans for Voldemort mug.A person who lives in the New York area, and often changes what pro sports teams they cheer for based on which ones are doing well. Each of the four major American sports has more than one New York area team: New York Yankees and New York Mets for baseball, New Jersey Jets and New Jersey Giants for football, New York Knicks and New Jersey Nets for basketball; and finally the New York Rangers, New York Islanders, and New Jersey Devils for hockey.
A New York sports opportunist will therefore choose to be a fan of whichever team is currently doing better in each sport. They will then act like they've always been a fan of that team, and vehemently deny ever liking another team in the same sport.
It's important to note that not ALL residents of the New York area are New York sports opportunists, but there are vast numbers of people that are.
A New York sports opportunist will therefore choose to be a fan of whichever team is currently doing better in each sport. They will then act like they've always been a fan of that team, and vehemently deny ever liking another team in the same sport.
It's important to note that not ALL residents of the New York area are New York sports opportunists, but there are vast numbers of people that are.
NYSO: I love the Yankees! I've been a die hard Yankees fan all my life!
REALIST: No you haven't. You wore a Mets hat all through the 80s, and the first half of the 90s. Then suddenly you became a Yankees fan. That makes you a New York sports opportunist.
NYSO: No way, you're just jealous because my team rules!
NYSO: Woohoo! My Giants just ended the Patriots perfect season!
REALIST: Yeah, you weren't a Giants fan until a few weeks ago. I bet you can't even name five players on the team.
NYSO: Well... there's Eli Manning, and... uh....
NYSO: Well, the Nets aren't exactly great, but I'm so glad I like them instead of the Knicks, they really suck!
REALIST: Why do you have a listing on ebay for that autographed Patrick Ewing poster that used to be on your wall for so many years?
NYSO: I have no idea what you're talking about.
NYSO: I love the Devils, but I also bought a bunch of Rangers and Islanders merchandise and buried it in my closet. You know, just in case they ever get good again.
REALIST: Stop the presses.
REALIST: No you haven't. You wore a Mets hat all through the 80s, and the first half of the 90s. Then suddenly you became a Yankees fan. That makes you a New York sports opportunist.
NYSO: No way, you're just jealous because my team rules!
NYSO: Woohoo! My Giants just ended the Patriots perfect season!
REALIST: Yeah, you weren't a Giants fan until a few weeks ago. I bet you can't even name five players on the team.
NYSO: Well... there's Eli Manning, and... uh....
NYSO: Well, the Nets aren't exactly great, but I'm so glad I like them instead of the Knicks, they really suck!
REALIST: Why do you have a listing on ebay for that autographed Patrick Ewing poster that used to be on your wall for so many years?
NYSO: I have no idea what you're talking about.
NYSO: I love the Devils, but I also bought a bunch of Rangers and Islanders merchandise and buried it in my closet. You know, just in case they ever get good again.
REALIST: Stop the presses.
by klopek007 January 24, 2010
Get the New York sports opportunist mug.