Jared's definitions

Brown Eye Witness

One who witnesses a self-cornholing/sodomization with a random object.

Andy and Jared became Brown Eye Witnesses when they watched Matt become an egg-asser.

by Jared March 24, 2004

massachusetts

greatest state ever

home to the world champion patriots AND RED SOX!!!

Red Sox are awesome we never lost the faith yankees suck


and thats why massachusetts is awesome

massachusetts is awesome because we have TWO champion teams

by Jared November 12, 2004

sandbar

The area between the dick and the ass. Also referred to as the grundle or gooch.

Please fondle my sandbar.

by Jared April 16, 2003

hoopdy

an exclamation meaning, "kick ass!"

i just got head! hoopdy!

by Jared April 17, 2005

jacuzzi cassinova

When a person can't get any pleasure from human, animal, or self. so they must stick there genitals in a jacuzzi jet for pleasure. also known as pulling an eric. (or trevor)

man he cant get any from anybody, he's just a jacuzzi cassinova

by Jared August 24, 2004

socialism

confused with communism, which doesn't work, this however can work very well with a mix of capitalism and democracy, it is a more equal economic system where the poor can become rich, whenever this comes up in a conversation someone eventually says it didn't work in russia

I think socialism is a..
Didn't work in russia
No, thats communism, this is differ...
Didn't work in cuba
Your not listening to me, Im talking about something completely different!
SHUTUP YOU FUCKING HIPPIE!!

by Jared October 19, 2003

fixie

A bicycle lacking a freewheel mechanism in the rear hub. That is the crank set and rear wheel are completely dependent of one another. To propel forward or backwards the pedals must be moving.

Aaron lets go lay down some skids; I just tuned up my new fixie.

by Jared September 2, 2004