Definitions by GAWII

midwife 

A non-medical professional with no training who "helps" babies be born.

While midwives fell greatly in favor in the past due to modern medicine, they are currently experiencing a slight comeback because hippies are stupid.

"We're thinking about hiring a midwife for our baby instead of a licensed medical doctor."
"Enjoy your stillbirth."

midwife by GAWII May 31, 2013

Muricaball 

1. A slang term for American Football.

2. A portmanteau of America and Football, but substituting Murica with America.

There is no such thing as "soccer". There's football and muricaball.

Muricaball by GAWII April 19, 2013

MineCraft 

Second Life for Atari.

Minecraft: When NES-era graphics are just too good.

MineCraft by GAWII January 17, 2013

teevee 

TV spelled out phonetically. Used by morons who apparently aren't aware that TV isn't a word, it's an abbreviation for the word television.

"On your paper here, you wrote "teevee". Why did you spell it that way?"
"Herp derp isn't that how it's spelled?"
"(facepalm)...No. It's just spelled TV. The letter T, then the letter V. That's it."

teevee by GAWII September 11, 2012

South Beach Diet

The Atkins diet for dummies.

Dr. Atkins said you should eat nutrient rich carbs instead of nutrient deficient carbs. This appears to be a simple idea, yet apparently figuring out that this means eating spinach instead of potatoes or broccoli instead of corn is akin to rocket science for the unwashed masses. So in comes the South Beach Diet, which is exactly the same except it breaks everything down into "good carbs" and "bad carbs".

Anyone who thinks the South Beach Diet is different than Atkins is an idiot.

South Beach Diet by GAWII March 24, 2011

RENT 

A play about a bunch of self-obsessed jackasses who whine about not having any money for food, heat, or rent while simultaneously whining about how they're too good to get jobs to support themselves. The supposed 'villain' of the play is the one guy who goes out, gets a job and--get this--has the nerve to SELL the building that they live in just because they haven't paid their rent in a year and they've turned the building into a drug distribution center/whorehouse/flophouse for the homeless, even though he was only letting them stay there at drastically reduced rent out of the goodness of his heart and for the sake of their friendship.

This play is very popular with young, pretentious assholes.

Have you seen RENT? It's life changing.

Yeah I saw it. Since when is getting a job and using protection during sex a bad thing?

RENT by GAWII October 21, 2010

whitizushi 

A type of sushi that is prepared in a way so it is more appealing to a baka gaijin.

Whitizushi are always urimaki rolls, which have rice on the outside and nori (seaweed) hidden away on the inside. This because most gaijin will refuse to knowingly eat anything containing seaweed. But what fully distinguishes whitizushi from regular urimaki is its unconventional ingredients such as avocado or american mayonnaise as well as ridiculous non-japanese names such as "California roll", "Dragon Roll" or "Spider Roll".

Baka gaijin: "I'm hungry, let's get some sushi. I feel like California rolls."
Gaikokujin: "Oh, you're a fan of whitizushi?"
Baka gaijin: "Is that what it's called?"
Gaikokujin: "...Yes! California rolls, Spider Rolls, Dragon Rolls, those are all called whitizushi."
Baka gaijin: "Wow, that's so cool! I know a Japanese word now. I'm so worldly."

whitizushi by GAWII July 16, 2009