Typically a queer white hipster who uses identity politics to avoid accountability. Competitive oppression & self victimization. Centralizes themselves and their feelings in social / political movements that aren’t about them.
by wellbutrinfiend November 23, 2021
A personality designation used typically by lesbians, bisexuals, pansexuals, softbois, and nonbinary folks to indicate a preference towards enforcing radical vulnerability, i.e., taking on crying, pastel colors, endless ranting over every single feeling and minor slight ever to an unconsenting audience, and obnoxious trends such as "flowercore" and cottagecore" as an aesthetic. Often seen on platforms such as tumblr, Lex, and Instagram as a hashtag or descriptor to really show all of the other queers how much more delicate they are than them.
Includes, but is not limited to: Self-victimization, ineffective methods of self care, gaslighting, competitive oppression, poorly chosen Snapchat filters and Instagram stickers, and dumping the emotional labor of dealing with your own self on others.
Includes, but is not limited to: Self-victimization, ineffective methods of self care, gaslighting, competitive oppression, poorly chosen Snapchat filters and Instagram stickers, and dumping the emotional labor of dealing with your own self on others.
Normal queer: I would prefer to not talk a lot about *traumatizing thing*. I am not enjoying this conversation.
Tenderqueer: You should be more vulnerable. This is just normal, it's radical praxis to let these feelings out, despite not knowing me very well or contributing towards the conversation in a positive way. I'm so soft and tender and good about talking about myself. Let me tell you more about *traumatizing thing*.
Normal queer: I already told you no. Please respect my boundaries.
Tenderqueer: You never told me no, that never happened. I need to talk about these things for my own well being. I'm emotionally delicate. You're a bad friend for silencing me. I'm soft and gentle and I didn't do anything bad. In fact, I'm way more soft and gentle than you. You can tell because I'm wearing pink and use flower filters.
Normal queer: Why are you like this?
Tenderqueer: I'm a tenderqueer.
Tenderqueer: You should be more vulnerable. This is just normal, it's radical praxis to let these feelings out, despite not knowing me very well or contributing towards the conversation in a positive way. I'm so soft and tender and good about talking about myself. Let me tell you more about *traumatizing thing*.
Normal queer: I already told you no. Please respect my boundaries.
Tenderqueer: You never told me no, that never happened. I need to talk about these things for my own well being. I'm emotionally delicate. You're a bad friend for silencing me. I'm soft and gentle and I didn't do anything bad. In fact, I'm way more soft and gentle than you. You can tell because I'm wearing pink and use flower filters.
Normal queer: Why are you like this?
Tenderqueer: I'm a tenderqueer.
by vehementlyannoyed January 23, 2020
Term used in the LGBTQ community to describe a fellow queer person who is perceived as too sensitive
Often pejorative
Often pejorative
A: I'm transsexual
B: Ugh, I don't like that word, I prefer transgender
A: Stop being such a tenderqueer
B: Ugh, I don't like that word, I prefer transgender
A: Stop being such a tenderqueer
by lemonlass May 10, 2022
I used to be roommates with a tenderqueer, when her girlfriend stole from me and I flipped out she told me I was “projecting my traumatized past.” I left the household because she called a house meeting and tried to micromanage how I dressed because I kept turning the heat up in winter, rather than just asking me to keep the heat to whatever boundary they wanted. Keep in mind they were an unemployed trust fund kid so they weren’t paying the gas bills.
by Onegaytwoballs November 27, 2021