wouldaben's definitions

when the economy picks up

Common beginning or ending to a sentence. It can serve to:

1. provide an excuse for why one has not yet done something.
2. suggest a vague intention of doing something later (similar to how Spanish speakers use the word "mañana.")
3. add minimal credibility to an idea that is a pipe dream.

1. There's no point in looking for a job until the economy picks up.
2. I'll start my business when the economy picks up.
3. Unemployment levels will go back down to the levels they were in the late 1990s when the economy picks up.

by wouldaben January 7, 2011

three-fingered booger

a legal case that a lawyer cannot bring to an end or otherwise get rid of despite great effort and expense. Such a case usually loses the attorney money, harms his/her reputation, and has little social value.

First my opposing counsel would not be reasonable, then my client would not be reasonable and now, after we have finally reached an agreement, the judge refuses to accept or reject our proposal. This case is a three-fingered booger!

by wouldaben December 18, 2010

dieting bra

A bra (brassiere) which is smaller than the intended wearer's current size and intended to serve as motivation for her diet (course of action to reduce body weight, size, or fat content) or to serve as a marker of when her diet has achieved its intended goal.

The aspiring ballerina purchased a tiny lace bra with a 30 inch bust and AA cups (essentially a training bra) and said to herself, "I will not eat solid food until I fit into this dieting bra. And even then, I will diet to remain slim enough to fit in it." She eagerly anticipated the feeling of the delicate black lace against her shrinking breast-buds, and her hunger temporarily subsided.

by wouldaben December 13, 2010

Unemployment Cooties

fear of interacting with an unemployed person for fear that whatever caused him or her to be unemployed will transfer to you. Originally used by John Stewart on the Daily Show.

After I lost my job, all of my "friends" suddenly became too busy to spend time with me. I guess I have unemployment cooties.

by wouldaben January 4, 2011

vulvoracious

a combination of the words "vulva" and "voracious" suggesting one who is hungry for vulva. Describes one who greatly desires to perform cunnilingus or other oral stimulation of the vulva.

I was vulvoracious after watching that hot model wearing lingerie; I wanted to pull down her panties, surround her vulva in my mouth, and lick her to orgasm right then and there.

by wouldaben January 6, 2011

diet-philia

a pathological disorder in which one is sexually aroused by the idea of a woman trying to reduce her weight, size, or adiposity for purely aesthetic reasons. No sexual arousal occurs if an obese woman attempts to reduce, but if a woman who is already slender expresses a desire to reduce simply to increase her sexual appeal, arousal is triggered. In addition, the motivation for her weight loss must be her enthusiasm at the prospect of becoming even more sexy, not dread or self-hatred.

I only exhibit diet-philia in the abstract; when I deal with actual women in real life, I want them to be healthy, happy, comfortable, and in constant sexual ecstasy. But I still find slim women the most attractive. I just don't want them to have to suffer to be slim.

by wouldaben December 13, 2010

Panty Bridge

the phenomenon on a thin woman of the waist-band of her panties being suspended between her hip bones without touching her concave lower abdomen. This phenomenon is best achieved when the woman is lying on her back. Panty bridges are considered attractive by many not only because they demonstrate the thinness of the woman but, when viewed from the proper angle, provide a view of the top of the woman's vulva/pubic mound.

That model is showing off how thin she is by lying down, sucking in her already tiny abdomen, and creating a panty bridge so deep that a train could drive under it.

by wouldaben December 16, 2010