wouldaben's definitions

three-fingered booger

a legal case that a lawyer cannot bring to an end or otherwise get rid of despite great effort and expense. Such a case usually loses the attorney money, harms his/her reputation, and has little social value.

First my opposing counsel would not be reasonable, then my client would not be reasonable and now, after we have finally reached an agreement, the judge refuses to accept or reject our proposal. This case is a three-fingered booger!

by wouldaben December 18, 2010

when the economy picks up

Common beginning or ending to a sentence. It can serve to:

1. provide an excuse for why one has not yet done something.
2. suggest a vague intention of doing something later (similar to how Spanish speakers use the word "mañana.")
3. add minimal credibility to an idea that is a pipe dream.

1. There's no point in looking for a job until the economy picks up.
2. I'll start my business when the economy picks up.
3. Unemployment levels will go back down to the levels they were in the late 1990s when the economy picks up.

by wouldaben January 7, 2011

shit crumbs

Those brown specks on the bathroom floor around the toilet.

Those aren't little pieces of milk chocolate on your bathroom floor. Them is shit crumbs!

by wouldaben January 10, 2011

diet party

a meeting of women held for the purpose of helping and inspiring each other to lose weight and become thinner. The members of a dieting party are usually slim to begin with and strive to be thinner only to increase their already considerable sexiness.

It was the perfect diet party. They rented the women's gymnasium and locker room for a week. They wore only bras and panties to heighten their awareness of the fat they wanted to lose. They would record their weight, waist, bust, hip, and thigh measurements at least three times per day and record them in a log book. Girls who were losing weight and getting smaller would giggle and congratulate each other and console those who were not losing weight and size as fast as they wanted to. They spent their days drinking water and exercising until they passed out and were revived by their fellow dieters. There were an abundance of scales, mirrors, and tape-measures for self contemplation and measurement. The girls gave each other cunnilingus to relieve their hunger with sexual ecstasy and create an inextricable psychological link between hunger and sexual ecstasy. By the end of the week they were feeling so sexy, slim, and ebullient at the collective weight and size they had lost that they stripped off their bras and panties in joy to better show off their hip bones, tiny breasts, and slim vulvas. Cunnilingus became constant, and the floors became slippery with their wonderful vaginal juices. By the end, they all agreed that it was the best diet party ever.

by wouldaben January 6, 2011

sylph

the epitome of slim, prepubescent, female beauty.

Ballerinas strive for their bodies to be like that of a sylph - thin to the point that they appear lighter than air.

by wouldaben December 16, 2010

panties

a garment of such genius that it firmly covers the vulva without touching the anus thereby collecting a woman's best smells while avoiding her worst. Another genius feature of panties are that their edges end right at the natural crease where the woman's leg bends and slope upwards towards her hip bones thereby visually lengthening her legs and narrowing her pelvic region.

The only thing better than a beautiful woman wearing panties is a beautiful woman wearing nothing at all.

by wouldaben January 6, 2011

diet-philia

a pathological disorder in which one is sexually aroused by the idea of a woman trying to reduce her weight, size, or adiposity for purely aesthetic reasons. No sexual arousal occurs if an obese woman attempts to reduce, but if a woman who is already slender expresses a desire to reduce simply to increase her sexual appeal, arousal is triggered. In addition, the motivation for her weight loss must be her enthusiasm at the prospect of becoming even more sexy, not dread or self-hatred.

I only exhibit diet-philia in the abstract; when I deal with actual women in real life, I want them to be healthy, happy, comfortable, and in constant sexual ecstasy. But I still find slim women the most attractive. I just don't want them to have to suffer to be slim.

by wouldaben December 13, 2010