giraffe-o's definitions

newscandy

Insufficient morsels of news meted out by journalists of TV and radio. Often simply a headline and one paragraph's worth word-count, so that they can pile on as many little anecdotes as possible between traffic reports, witty banter, and advertisements, and repeat them every half hour for the short-attention span crowd.

Watching CNN Headline News is pretty much just getting newscandy.

by giraffe-o May 18, 2006

ham sandwich

slang in police lexicon, meaning an untainted handgun a corrupt cop will have ready to plant on a suspect they've shot. Prevalent in New Orleans culture, during the militant state in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. (seen on PBS' Frontline)

My partner used to carry around a ham sandwich to pin on some poor fucker they might shoot down.

by giraffe-o August 26, 2010

tapping the admiral

sneaking a furtive, illicit alcoholic drink. The term stems from the case of British Admiral Nelson, whose corpse was pickled, in brandy, after dying at sea & sparked rumours that his men would drink from the barrell.

"We have a meeting with the boss this morning, wait until the afternoon before tapping the admiral"

by giraffe-o January 12, 2009

stupetetive

Repeating an action or series of actions in the same manner which has failed in the past, and not learning from any stupid mistakes.

Damn, they're making the same mistakes they made last year, that's just stupetetive.

by giraffe-o July 22, 2010

texas grandparent

Someone who is expendable in a crisis, who can be sacrificed for the greater good. Based on the request from Texas Republicans to let old people die, during the 2020 COVID-19 crisis, so young people can go back to work.

“If we have an apocalypse, I’m throwing you to the zombies like a Texas grandparent.”

by giraffe-o March 25, 2020

Carolina French Toast

The act of preparing for natural disasters by stocking up on milk, eggs, and bread.

Must be a hurricane soon, everyone's shopping cart is full up with milk, eggs, and bread... must be making Carolina French Toast.

by giraffe-o August 30, 2011

corporatelalia

Obtuse, vague, and confusing verbiage crapped out in official documents by corporations and their lawyers. Meant to mislead and confuse, and to promote a prescribed company line. Also see corporatespeak, legalese, and marketing.

That memo e-mailed out by HR this morning was so full of corporatelalia, I don't know what the hell is going on at this office.

by giraffe-o May 23, 2007