'I'll be there in two shakes of a chimps cock Vera', shouted Mavis before grabbing her coat, rushing to the front door and setting off for a good night at the bingo.
by chesterpest January 22, 2010
Get the two shakes of a chimps cockmug. When you are allowed out with the lads for a 'heavy lashing' due to exceptional circumstances which can't be refused (eg Wetting the babies head, Stag Do etc). Also commonly referred to as a '24 hour pass'.
'But love, its Barry's stag do, I can't not go - you've got to give me special dispensation!!', 'hmmmmm, this is the seventh stag do that Barry's had in 3 months' murmured Tracy suspiciously.
by chesterpest January 22, 2010
Get the special dispensationmug. Alternative name for Stella Artois premium strength lager. Also known as wife beater. Refers to the after effects suffered from a night on the lash.
The morning after his 'liquid kosh' fueled binge Dave lost all feeling in his legs and went blind in one eye - 'Result' he declared.
by chesterpest January 17, 2010
Get the liquid koshmug. Simon had clearly been constipated for some time, this much was evident upon examination of his recently laid 'chipolinks'.
by chesterpest January 17, 2010
Get the chipolinksmug. A typical welshman/woman who bang on about their nationality and how 'welsh and proud' they are, naively oblivious of the biggest irony of all: that they nearly always come last at everything. On the rare occasion that they win something like a rugby match they get several years mileage out of it and often canonise the try scorer giving them fucking ridiculous names like 'Merve the swerve'. Another sad irony is that the most vociforous of these creatures can't even speak fucking welsh.
Have you heard that Dave now spells his name 'Dafydd' and has just posted a picture of a dragon on his facebook. Apparently his Nans, Uncles Father in Law was welsh - what a fucking daffodick!!!!
by chesterpest January 22, 2010
Get the Daffodickmug. 'Has anyone seen my April edition of 'MILF times', there's a Jazz crooner on page 42 that looks just like Mavis from accounts?'
by chesterpest January 17, 2010
Get the Jazz croonermug. A smutty round robin email (usually slideshows of womens genitalia made to look like kebabs or turkeys), which successfully evade the attentions of the office IT police.
Geoffs latest scudmail was a powerpoint slideshow of really drunk tramps who had apparently shit themselves - it went down a storm in with the accounts boys.
by chesterpest January 22, 2010
Get the scudmailmug.