chesterpest's definitions

chipolinks

a stream of small hard conjoined pebble-like turds derived from 'chipolata' and 'links'

Simon had clearly been constipated for some time, this much was evident upon examination of his recently laid 'chipolinks'.

by chesterpest January 17, 2010

two shakes of a chimps cock

To be there in a minute. The full version of 'there in two shakes'.

'I'll be there in two shakes of a chimps cock Vera', shouted Mavis before grabbing her coat, rushing to the front door and setting off for a good night at the bingo.

by chesterpest January 22, 2010

threps

Womens breasts. Abbr: originating from the cockney rhyming slang 'Threpenny Bits' (tits).

The lads decided another trip down to Margate was in order - in the height of summer it was always guaranteed that there would be plenty of 'threps' on show.

by chesterpest January 17, 2010

Frodo's Ring

A friend who has a tendancy to 'do a disappearing act' at inopportune moments.

"Oh surprise, surprise, Terry has fucking donned 'Frodo's Ring' again just when it's his turn to get the next round in."

"Then, just as about 20 of them came around the corner with baseball bats Terry whipped out Frodo's Ring again - the fucking cunt".

by chesterpest January 17, 2010

Valentine's Day Massacre

The scam whereby Restaurants/Florists/Chocolatiers cash in on Valentine's Day by trebling the price of their products safe in the knowledge that the male suitor is effectively held to ransom with no other options open to them.

"You may as well wear a feckin mask, this is just a bloody Valentine's Day Massacre" screamed Tom to the restaurant manager whilst his paramour paid a trip to the toilet.

by chesterpest January 22, 2010

babies breakfasts

Alternative name for iladies breasts. Also known as ladylumps, mezulas, tatties, puppies, waps, tonkas, bullwinkles noses, tits, paps, threps, jugs, melons, funbags, etc

Gary had never imagined that a woman could cultivate such an award winning set of 'babies breakfasts', pity it was his sister.

by chesterpest January 17, 2010

Rabbits Nose

To have an arse like a 'Rabbits Nose': To become so nervous as to develop an anal 'twitch' in anticipation of a forthcoming event. To be 'shitting oneself'.

I had an arse like a rabbits nose when they pulled me over. I was so ripped to the tits that i'd already pissed my pants several miles earlier and run over a dog and a small child.

by chesterpest January 17, 2010