chesterpest's definitions
'Right then Barry' declared sharon 'first things first, I want to see you talking to the captain before you stick that cock up me - its not all about you!!'
by chesterpest January 22, 2010
Get the talking to the captain mug.Contravertial alcoholic, dickie-bow wearing, TV Chef/funnyman who used his outdoor cookery programme as a weak pretext to travel the world, patronise and insult the local tribesmen, take advantage of local hospitality and get totally shitted on the local 'tipple' whilst simultaneously attempting to cook (and often fail spectacularly) their regional speciality dish. Sadly now deceased after years of alcohol abuse ravaged his slowly pickled body into submission.
Can we watch 'Keith Floyd around the Med' at 9pm tonight, apparently he's in Tunisia this time and apart from cooking lamb tagine with apricots he's going to be getting ripped to the tits on their local brew and taking the piss out of some local goatherders?
by chesterpest January 17, 2010
Get the Keith Floyd mug.A smutty round robin email (usually slideshows of womens genitalia made to look like kebabs or turkeys), which successfully evade the attentions of the office IT police.
Geoffs latest scudmail was a powerpoint slideshow of really drunk tramps who had apparently shit themselves - it went down a storm in with the accounts boys.
by chesterpest January 22, 2010
Get the scudmail mug.'I'll be there in two shakes of a chimps cock Vera', shouted Mavis before grabbing her coat, rushing to the front door and setting off for a good night at the bingo.
by chesterpest January 22, 2010
Get the two shakes of a chimps cock mug.Simon had clearly been constipated for some time, this much was evident upon examination of his recently laid 'chipolinks'.
by chesterpest January 17, 2010
Get the chipolinks mug.When you are allowed out with the lads for a 'heavy lashing' due to exceptional circumstances which can't be refused (eg Wetting the babies head, Stag Do etc). Also commonly referred to as a '24 hour pass'.
'But love, its Barry's stag do, I can't not go - you've got to give me special dispensation!!', 'hmmmmm, this is the seventh stag do that Barry's had in 3 months' murmured Tracy suspiciously.
by chesterpest January 22, 2010
Get the special dispensation mug.'Has anyone seen my April edition of 'MILF times', there's a Jazz crooner on page 42 that looks just like Mavis from accounts?'
by chesterpest January 17, 2010
Get the Jazz crooner mug.