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Usebleach's definitions

Off Key

Off Key

Off key describes someone who suddenly proclaims that they're going through her menopause.
Jo Bloggs: "Oh hi Sue. How was yr weekend?"
Sue: "I spent it on my menopause. Happy now?"
Jo Bloggs under his breath: " Sue is acting really off key this morning. I better keep out of her way."
by Usebleach May 28, 2022
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Inwira

INWIRA is the abbreviation for: "Ironic Nude Woman in a red armchair"... The name is unique to the owner of YouTube channel"Virtual High Tea Coffee n cakes and a bit of Clarinet Chit Chat", and is therefore protected by copyright...
Joanne Bloggs: "I feel like a bit of an INWIRA myself actually."
Her brother Joe Bloggs : You should set up a gym at home then; see if you can get into shape
Joanne Bloggs: "Cheeky. I meant I'm a prude; NOT butters..."
by Usebleach January 17, 2021
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C.H.B

C.H.B. stands for COUNCIL HOUSE BARRISTER, and is someone who is believed to have lived in a council house(NOT), who failed their exams, and made friends with crackheads, before they slept their way into Oxford/Cambridge, and then to the BAR.
Oxford Neighbour1 talking to neighbour2: "Here comes that C.H.B with that decent man."
Neighbour 2: "Well at least there's no camels."
by Usebleach March 12, 2020
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SAME SEX MARRIAGE

A "same sex marriage" is someone who has crows feet and looks like a woman, but doesn't have a menstrual cycle, so is a man.
Doctor: "Did you see any blood coming from between its legs?"
Patients husband: "No. Is my wife a same sex marriage then, Doc?"
Doctor: "Yeah, it looks like yr wifes a man!!! Get off the 321 bus"
Patients husband: "But all she's got is a CO2 emitting car for me to drive"
Doctor: "I'm afraid its no longer within our remit."
Patients Husband: "But what about the environment?"
by Usebleach August 3, 2020
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Jorg Flow-d

A Jorg Flow-d is a coconut footballer, who takes the knee for black criminals, before every UK premiere league match.
Fan to hus mate at a premiere league match: "Look at him, bended down on one knee."

Fans friend shouts: "Get up you Jorg Flow-d, and start scoring some goals for the UK; not America."
by Usebleach May 28, 2022
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OffKey

Offkey

Offkey describes someone who, out of nowhere, brings up the fact that they're on their menopause.
Example:

John the man: "Oh hi Sue. How was yr weekend?"
Sue responds with something Offkey like: "I spent it on my menopause. Happy now?" and then walks off in a neurotic mess, looking for her car keys, cos shes got Brainfog.
by Usebleach May 28, 2022
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L.P

E.g.

Daughter to her family via zoom"Whers dad? I can't see him on the screen. Is he keeping L.P?"
by Usebleach December 26, 2021
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