35 definitions by The Professor

The second of the three fates in Greek Mythology. Lachesis measures the thread of life after Clothos spins it and before Atropos cuts it.
Let's hope Lachesis had a long tape measure when you were born!
by The Professor June 29, 2004
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1. A slang term for young Christians who pretend it's cool to be moral or act sarcastically immoral.
2. A teenage Christian who attends TEC (Teens Encounter Christ) or a Youth Group.
3. A teenager who is overly zealous about Christianity.
4. A teenager who non-satirically preaches "It's Hip To Be Square."
5. A teenager who listens to Christian music.
1. Why are these nu christians always ranting about how sweet Youth Group is?
2. Don't these nu christians realize I don't give a damn about Jars of Clay?
by The Professor December 9, 2003
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A type of landmine characterized by its detonation only when pressure that has been placed on it has been released. After release, the mine springs into the air spewing shrapnel in all directions.
The private stepped on the bouncing betty and took out the whole platoon.
by The Professor November 8, 2003
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Give him a mallet, and he becomes a real Patrick Moore.
by The Professor November 8, 2003
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Pain or stiffness in the thumbs occuring most often after a long bout of playing a game on the SEGA console.
Can also be applied to other consoles.
After 5 hours of Sonic, Bruce had a badass case of SEGA thumbs.
by The Professor June 29, 2004
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(v) To use ones partner as a kitchen cleaning implement
After he had martoed with her the counter top was clean and shiny
by The Professor November 10, 2003
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A catch-all term that covers various forms of egregious and self-serving boasting about one's sex life - particularly when such boasting occurs over the internet.

Like the famous Supreme Court quote about pornography - wang-wagging is something that is difficult to define, but easy to recognize when one sees it. There are a few basic types of wang-wagging

Type One (Bragging to One's Friends):

For instance, whenever dudes are hanging out in an informal setting talking about their sex lives, wang-wagging will inevitably occur as one or more of the dudes in the conversation feels a competitive desire to exaggerate the details of his sex life - so as to "one up" another member of the group or to attain some form of status in the group.

Type Two (Bragging on the Internet):

Wang-wagging is particularly prevalent on the internet - especially on message boards, where male posters often go to great lengths to make exaggerated claims about their sexual prowess, and to denigrate the sexual prowess of other posters.

Type Three (Subtle):

In my opinion, dudes who feel the need to bring-up the fact that they have a girlfriend (or post about their girlfriends), even in conversations (or threads) that have nothing to do with sex - are engaging in a form of wang-wagging. By bringing up one's girlfriend in an irrelevant context, it is as if one is saying "Hey! I need others to acknowledge that I am cool/sexy/virile enough to have a girlfriend - so I am going to bring her up and talk about her - even though she has nothing to do with the topic of our conversation."
Type One (Bragging to One's Friends):

"Ya - your girlfriend Jill is hot, but she's kind of plain. I'm an f-ing wild man in the sack! Did I ever tell you about the time I went to Canada and had hot passionate sex with two nymphomaniac super-models on the shore of Lake Onatario? Man - they were begging for for more of me - but I had to go back to my hotel....."

Type Two (Bragging on the Internet):

"My record for ejaculations in one day is eleven. I don't understand dudes who can't regenerate more than six times a day. You all need to start taking more Vitamin B or something."

Type Three (Subtle):

Person A: "Wow - GTA" San Andreas is a great game."

Person B "Ya - I know - my girlfriend and I play it all the time - usually right before we have sex. She loves to hijack cars and kill the Ballas. It's like an aphrodisiac."
by The Professor November 29, 2004
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