Terry Deary's definitions
n. (a.k.a. chips and cheese) commonplace British delicacy, to be found in almost every 3am eaterie for around £2.00. Profoundly sautéed in 'graisse animale', the chips (fries to non-UK English speakers) are then drowned to taste in traditional seasoning (table-salt and industrial malt vinegar) before the 'pièce de résistance' - a delightful coat of the cheapest plasticky "cheddar-syle" cheese available. Voilà! Delicious.
The mis-pronounciation is a direct hommage, if you will, to the owners and employees of Britain's millions of kebab shops, and their unilateral endearing trait of being unable to speak English.
The mis-pronounciation is a direct hommage, if you will, to the owners and employees of Britain's millions of kebab shops, and their unilateral endearing trait of being unable to speak English.
*3 o'clock a.m., any town centre in the UK*
Turkish guy at till: Whatchoo wan'?
Drunk customer: What? £5 for a kebab? I'll have fookin' chips and cheese then.
Turkish guy (to the guy doing the frying): Ey Sanjeet, two chip an' chee!
Turkish guy at till: Whatchoo wan'?
Drunk customer: What? £5 for a kebab? I'll have fookin' chips and cheese then.
Turkish guy (to the guy doing the frying): Ey Sanjeet, two chip an' chee!
by Terry Deary February 28, 2006
Get the chip an' cheemug. n. A particular breed of ned or chav who, instead of being plain aggressive and threatening, is full of bravado and chooses instead to shout witticisms at passers-by. Favourites include:
"show's yer fanny!" ("could I please see your vagina?")
"gie's a gobble!" ("would you please perform oral sex on me?")
"we arra peepell!" (chanted throughout Glasgow housing estates whenever Rangers win the league - "we are the people?" God knows what it means)
Cheeky neds are more very curious, constantly asking you what you are doing or looking at and wondering if you'd care to duel.
"show's yer fanny!" ("could I please see your vagina?")
"gie's a gobble!" ("would you please perform oral sex on me?")
"we arra peepell!" (chanted throughout Glasgow housing estates whenever Rangers win the league - "we are the people?" God knows what it means)
Cheeky neds are more very curious, constantly asking you what you are doing or looking at and wondering if you'd care to duel.
Cheeky ned (at bus stop at 2 in the morning with bottle of Buckfast) : Whit you lookin' at?
Passer-by: Eh, nothing really. Straight ahead mostly.
Cheeky ned: Whit? Whit you daein'?
Passer-by: What am I doing? Going home. Why?
Cheeky ned: Whit? Who you talkin' tae?
Passer-by: I was under the impression I was talking to you.
Cheeky ned: Aw, whit man! You're gettin pure do'ed!
Passer-by: I hope your cigarette ash lands on your tracksuit.
Passer-by: Eh, nothing really. Straight ahead mostly.
Cheeky ned: Whit? Whit you daein'?
Passer-by: What am I doing? Going home. Why?
Cheeky ned: Whit? Who you talkin' tae?
Passer-by: I was under the impression I was talking to you.
Cheeky ned: Aw, whit man! You're gettin pure do'ed!
Passer-by: I hope your cigarette ash lands on your tracksuit.
by Terry Deary June 2, 2005
Get the cheeky nedmug. RECIPE FOR GAELIC COFFEE:
Pour 35mls of a good Scotch blend (Chivas Regal, Antiquary, Black Label etc.) into a pre-warmed latté glass. Add a teaspoon of demerara sugar (or a dash of sirop de gomme), and stir.
In the meantime, drop a small amount of double cream in a cocktail shaker with loads of ice, and shake vigourously until the shaker is almost too cold to bear holding.
Add hot coffee to the whisky and sugar, about four-fifths to the top of the glass. Stir.
Very slowly drizzle the ice-cold cream over the back of a spoon onto the coffee. If done correctly, the cream should 'layer' over the coffee, so it looks like Guinness.
Now decorate the top with cocoa powder, chocolate sprinkles, coffee beans etc., and serve. Sláinte mhath!
Pour 35mls of a good Scotch blend (Chivas Regal, Antiquary, Black Label etc.) into a pre-warmed latté glass. Add a teaspoon of demerara sugar (or a dash of sirop de gomme), and stir.
In the meantime, drop a small amount of double cream in a cocktail shaker with loads of ice, and shake vigourously until the shaker is almost too cold to bear holding.
Add hot coffee to the whisky and sugar, about four-fifths to the top of the glass. Stir.
Very slowly drizzle the ice-cold cream over the back of a spoon onto the coffee. If done correctly, the cream should 'layer' over the coffee, so it looks like Guinness.
Now decorate the top with cocoa powder, chocolate sprinkles, coffee beans etc., and serve. Sláinte mhath!
by Terry Deary July 13, 2006
Get the Gaelic coffeemug. (inf. phrase) In reference to the bumming scene in the 1973 Bertolucci movie "Last Tango In Paris" and the popular 1990s TV commercials for the soft drink "Tango" - when you've just shot your creamy load up a bird's arse, this phrase makes the perfect accompaniment to a post-coital cigarette, all the more poignant if you have used butter or Tango as lube.
Me: Was that Cadbury canal cruise good for you too?
Bumslut: (crying) No! It was horrible and painful, and it's all sticky because of the cum, butter and Tango!
Me: Unlucky, bumslut - You've Been Tangoed!
Bumslut: (crying) No! It was horrible and painful, and it's all sticky because of the cum, butter and Tango!
Me: Unlucky, bumslut - You've Been Tangoed!
by Terry Deary August 28, 2006
Get the you've been tangoedmug. by Terry Deary June 3, 2005
Get the willy-willymug. Maw Parker: I got you steaks for dinner kids.
Kid #1: Cool.
Kid #2: There's hair on my beef!
(Other kids all snigger at the connotations)
Kid #1: Cool.
Kid #2: There's hair on my beef!
(Other kids all snigger at the connotations)
by Terry Deary June 2, 2005
Get the HairyBeefmug. n. Of a human, the orifice which excretes waste, most probably due to the semi-resemblance to the closed eye of an Oriental person. The brown eye, the ringpiece, the rusty sherrif's badge.
Dr. Proctor: Now Mrs. Jones, what seems to be the problem?
Mrs. Jones: I'm having trouble passing solids, doc.
Dr. Proctor: I see. Now, Mrs. Jones, if you could remove your undergarments and bend over, please.
Mrs. Jones: Is everything okay, doctor?
Dr. Proctor: Mrs. Jones, I must prescribe a daily course of backdoor surprises immediately, your winking chink's eye is as tight as a corset string.
Mrs. Jones: I'm having trouble passing solids, doc.
Dr. Proctor: I see. Now, Mrs. Jones, if you could remove your undergarments and bend over, please.
Mrs. Jones: Is everything okay, doctor?
Dr. Proctor: Mrs. Jones, I must prescribe a daily course of backdoor surprises immediately, your winking chink's eye is as tight as a corset string.
by Terry Deary July 27, 2008
Get the Winking Chink's Eyemug.