Terry Deary's definitions
(inf. phrase) In reference to the bumming scene in the 1973 Bertolucci movie "Last Tango In Paris" and the popular 1990s TV commercials for the soft drink "Tango" - when you've just shot your creamy load up a bird's arse, this phrase makes the perfect accompaniment to a post-coital cigarette, all the more poignant if you have used butter or Tango as lube.
Me: Was that Cadbury canal cruise good for you too?
Bumslut: (crying) No! It was horrible and painful, and it's all sticky because of the cum, butter and Tango!
Me: Unlucky, bumslut - You've Been Tangoed!
Bumslut: (crying) No! It was horrible and painful, and it's all sticky because of the cum, butter and Tango!
Me: Unlucky, bumslut - You've Been Tangoed!
by Terry Deary August 28, 2006
Get the you've been tangoed mug.by Terry Deary June 3, 2005
Get the willy-willy mug.Maw Parker: I got you steaks for dinner kids.
Kid #1: Cool.
Kid #2: There's hair on my beef!
(Other kids all snigger at the connotations)
Kid #1: Cool.
Kid #2: There's hair on my beef!
(Other kids all snigger at the connotations)
by Terry Deary June 2, 2005
Get the HairyBeef mug.n. (sometimes "elephant impersonation") To open your pockets out, unzip your fly, and whip it out, thus your pockets bearing vague resemblance to elephant ears, and your walloper to the beast's trunk.
The more ardent of impersonators will paint his beef dagger grey, then gel his pubes outwards and paint them white, to give the impression of tusks.
The more ardent of impersonators will paint his beef dagger grey, then gel his pubes outwards and paint them white, to give the impression of tusks.
The kids weren't amused by his balloon shapes or his juggling, and Coco the clown was running out of ideas. He had to make sure these kids had fun or he wouldn't get paid for the gig. All of a sudden, he had a stroke of genius!
"Say, kids..." whispered Coco, "do you like wild animals?"
"Yeah! Yeah!" yelled the brats excitedly.
"Well, what luck!" the clown laughed, "'cos I just happen to have my pet elephant with me today!"
"Hooray!" shouted the kids.
Coco was fined £5000, put on the Sex Offenders' Register and sentenced to 3 years without parole for indecent exposure to minors.
Elephant impressions are not suitable for children under 10 years old.
"Say, kids..." whispered Coco, "do you like wild animals?"
"Yeah! Yeah!" yelled the brats excitedly.
"Well, what luck!" the clown laughed, "'cos I just happen to have my pet elephant with me today!"
"Hooray!" shouted the kids.
Coco was fined £5000, put on the Sex Offenders' Register and sentenced to 3 years without parole for indecent exposure to minors.
Elephant impressions are not suitable for children under 10 years old.
by Terry Deary August 29, 2006
Get the elephant impression mug.n. Of a human, the orifice which excretes waste, most probably due to the semi-resemblance to the closed eye of an Oriental person. The brown eye, the ringpiece, the rusty sherrif's badge.
Dr. Proctor: Now Mrs. Jones, what seems to be the problem?
Mrs. Jones: I'm having trouble passing solids, doc.
Dr. Proctor: I see. Now, Mrs. Jones, if you could remove your undergarments and bend over, please.
Mrs. Jones: Is everything okay, doctor?
Dr. Proctor: Mrs. Jones, I must prescribe a daily course of backdoor surprises immediately, your winking chink's eye is as tight as a corset string.
Mrs. Jones: I'm having trouble passing solids, doc.
Dr. Proctor: I see. Now, Mrs. Jones, if you could remove your undergarments and bend over, please.
Mrs. Jones: Is everything okay, doctor?
Dr. Proctor: Mrs. Jones, I must prescribe a daily course of backdoor surprises immediately, your winking chink's eye is as tight as a corset string.
by Terry Deary July 27, 2008
Get the Winking Chink's Eye mug.n. inf(!) A hoor who specializes in backdoor delivery, and has become so familiar with Cadbury Lane olympics that she desires and eventually, REQUIRES, a daily dose of sodomy.
Priest: Do you, Terry, promise to turn this respectful, sweet and innocent young lady into a nasty, filthy, fusty, slimy, cummy, rotten, shitty, dirty, skanky, rancid, foul, putrid, fetid, horrible little bumslut?
Me: I do.
Priest: And do you, Germaine, promise to take a regular rectal rogering from your betrothed as and when he demands?
Bumslut: I do.
Priest: We now conclude the ceremony by explaining in graphic detail and diagram the foul, ungodly, unforgivable anal action which will tonight take place in Germaine's pink, pristine, virgin bumhole to her father.
Father: I might kill myself if you do that.
Me: Amen.
Me: I do.
Priest: And do you, Germaine, promise to take a regular rectal rogering from your betrothed as and when he demands?
Bumslut: I do.
Priest: We now conclude the ceremony by explaining in graphic detail and diagram the foul, ungodly, unforgivable anal action which will tonight take place in Germaine's pink, pristine, virgin bumhole to her father.
Father: I might kill myself if you do that.
Me: Amen.
by Terry Deary August 28, 2006
Get the bumslut mug.v./n. inf(!) to unexpectedly penetrate someone's anus; often, of a heterosexual couple engaged in doggy style intercourse, when the male withdraws from the vagina, and hilariously re-inserts into the anus without prior warning.
NOT to be confused with the equally amusing Cadbury Surprise.
NOT to be confused with the equally amusing Cadbury Surprise.
Betty: ... but then, as I... as I was about to... come, for some reason he pulled out... and then... *breaks down sobbing* he.. he put it... oh god! *sobs uncontrolably*
Psychiatrist 1: He gave you a BACKDOOR SURPRISE!? What a guy!!!
*hi-fives Psychiatrist 2*
Psychiatrist 2: Man, that is awesome!
Psychiatrist 1: He gave you a BACKDOOR SURPRISE!? What a guy!!!
*hi-fives Psychiatrist 2*
Psychiatrist 2: Man, that is awesome!
by Terry Deary July 21, 2008
Get the backdoor surprise mug.