Satandog's definitions

Log Lady

n. Mysterious woman who leaves a gigantic unflushable turd in the ladies' loo. Usually encountered in the workplace, sparking endless speculation about the identity of the Log Lady. No male equivalent, thanks to David Lynch, and the fact that men have such godawful personal hygiene that this is a pretty regular happening in the male crapper.

"The Log Lady struck again! Who d'you reckon it is?"
"That fat bird from the 4th floor!! She must have a tail-pipe six inches wide!"

by Satandog February 6, 2006

Arse Cakes

n. Expression used by Father Jack, the bigoted old alcoholic priest from Father Ted. Usually shouted at the top of his lungs, at nothing in particular, in random rotation with "Girls!", "Drink!" and "Feck!".

"Father Jack, would you like a nice cup of tea, now?"
"ARSE CAKES!"

by Satandog March 15, 2006

Swift One

A quick drink take in a hurry when you don't have much time but would like to be sociable - either at the end or the start of a night. Brit slang. Leads to trouble.

"Hey there Dave, how you doing?"
"I went for a swift one after work with Mikey last night and woke up with my head in a crackwhore's crotch."

by Satandog April 4, 2006

world of pain

The ultimate retribution when you piss someone off.

"Dave, you just shagged my mom. I'm gonna put you into a world of pain."

by Satandog May 2, 2006

Wrong 'Un

Brit slang for a dangerous person with a screw loose. Someone that could actually do some damage, not some harmless happy go lucky wanker.

"Fuck me rigid, Frankie Four Fingers is a right fucking Wrong 'Un. He peeled off Jimmy The Greek's fucking kneecaps with a claw hammer just 'cos he looked at 'is Old Lady funny".

by Satandog March 25, 2006

never mind the quality

...feel the width. Phrase used to persuade you that quantitiy is more important than quality. Originated from unscrupulous London backstreet tailors palming you off with cheap material instead of the good stuff for your suit.

"Hmm. This suit smells of dead germans and cat piss, and is sturdy enough to both restrain a rutting wart hog and give me heat-stroke if the mercury climbs above 60 degrees, my good man".
"Never mind the quality, feel the width my son! They don't make cloth like this anymore!"

by Satandog May 2, 2006

Heavy

The grade of Scottish beer between Light and Export. Tasty.

"Mine's a pint of Heavy and some pork scratchings".

by Satandog April 2, 2006