6 definitions by Oona Pelota
(n) A two-handed handjob.
I heard her say "You like a full deck?" so I looked to my right and she was jerking him off with both hands!
by Oona Pelota April 6, 2016
When your girlfriend is riding you on the living room couch, and the family dog (preferably a Cocker Spaniel) joins in by licking her taint.
My girlfriend was house sitting and wanted to smash, so I went over there. She forgot to put the dog outside. Well, we started going at it, and when she was riding me on the couch the dog got between our legs and gave her the Shocker Spaniel! I tried to kick him, but she said, “Don’t be mean to him. He’s a good boy.”
by Oona Pelota April 29, 2020
A two-handed Level III Tantric Massage technique invented in Marin County, California.
Step 1: With the male recipient standing, feet very wide, penis fully engorged, with one finger pointed skyward, his female therapist inserts at least one of her fingers deep into his rectum in order to “hammer” his prostate, similar to how a rock guitarist would hammer a fretboard while shredding on stage.
Step 2: The therapist’s other hand reaches around and repeatedly levers his penis in the wrong direction (whichever direction that is), similar to how a rock guitarist would bend a whammy bar while ripping a lead.
Step 1: With the male recipient standing, feet very wide, penis fully engorged, with one finger pointed skyward, his female therapist inserts at least one of her fingers deep into his rectum in order to “hammer” his prostate, similar to how a rock guitarist would hammer a fretboard while shredding on stage.
Step 2: The therapist’s other hand reaches around and repeatedly levers his penis in the wrong direction (whichever direction that is), similar to how a rock guitarist would bend a whammy bar while ripping a lead.
After partying all day at Cabo Wabo, I found a nearby spa that offered a “special massage” for $51.50. Well, I found out the hard way that my masseuse’s day job involved slicing jalapeños, because when she gave me the “Sammy Fingar“ I screamed louder than David Lee Roth!
by Oona Pelota April 28, 2020
When a woman motorboats an unconscious man’s butt crack while swinging his limp penis in a “helicopter dick” circular motion like a propeller. If he then wakes up, extends his arms, and flies around the room while she keeps motorin’, that becomes a Sister Christian.
We went out to dinner in his Tesla. Then he took me back to his place in Tiburon, we had a bottle of Rombauer chard, and he passed out. Whatever. I gave him a Night Ranger and took an Uber back to Novato.
by Oona Pelota April 27, 2020
A sexual act, whereby a naked man extends his arms like wings, gyrates his pelvis in order to create “helicopter dick”, and pretends to fly around a room, all whilst having his butt crack motorboated by a woman in order to create airplane engine noise. She’s motorin’, that’s the price for his flight.
We were back at his place, freebasing and listening to Rick Springfield while a little kid set off firecrackers. After a few big hits, he put on Night Ranger’s Midnight Madness album, took off his robe, and started pretending to fly around the room. I was pretty high so I started motorboating his butt crack. Now every time I come over there he asks if we can do the “Sister Christian”.
by Oona Pelota April 27, 2020
To create clever gifs in order to graphically explain a situation, circumstance, controversy, or event, for the purpose of fueling a public debate on said topic. A tactic typically employed by French satirists and commentators in order to draw attention to a topic, such as Scientology’s interference in media coverage of rape cases.
In order to effectively present both sides of the Masterson rape accusations , Le Monde’s editors decided to legiferate the story and they called in an outside legiferator.
by Oona Pelota December 5, 2017