Fearman's definitions

Silver Shamrock

Fictitious mask company in the third instalment in the Hallowe'en franchise, "Season of the Witch" (the one without Mr. Myers). The masks are the colours of the Irish national flag (orange Jack-O-Lantern, white skull, green witch), and are made by a company in a weird all-Oirish town on the coast of California. On activation by a signal on the big night, the masks transform their (numerous) wearers' heads into so many divers creepy-crawlies. The Silver Shamrock company wins the booby prize for the most irritating television jingle ever inflicted on the world in fact or fiction; a countdown to the tune of "London Bridge is Falling Down", starting "(x) days to Hallowe'en, Hallowe'en, Hallowe'en". I had it in my head for WEEKS. The head of the company is played by an actor from Wexford, Ireland, and incidentally as far as I can tell is the only figure in the history of American horror films to pronounce Samhain correctly.

Four days left to Hallowe'en,
Hallowe'en, Hallowe'en,
Four more days to Hallowe'en,
Silver Shamrock!

by Fearman February 10, 2008

Frankenphobia

Morbid irrational fear of biotechnology and/or its products. Endlessly incited by born-again hippie fundamentalists, who would prefer us all to live like Freddie Flintstone. From Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (an endlessly quoted popular reference) and the suffix -phobia.

Morning Flower is spreading her Frankenphobia around again, telling everyone genetically modified tomatoes are bad for their children.

When are these very very trendy people going to accept that Frankenphobia is soooooo yesterday?

by Fearman January 6, 2008

Ballymoreau

Hick town or boghole in the backwoods of Ireland so dangerously rustic that you'd think some mad scientist had engineered the locals from a herd of Frisians. From H.G. Wells' Island of Dr. Moreau.

We're in Ballymoreau, County Carlow. Let's get out of here.

by Fearman March 4, 2008

Pazuzu

Ancient middle eastern divinity who becomes a demon in the Exorcist franchise. Best pronounced in a low-pitched, gravelly, strangled sort of voice followed by at least three short laughs in the same tone.

I am PAZUZU, HA-HA-HA. I am a mean son of a bitch of a devil, but then I screw it all up by protecting expectant mothers.

by Fearman March 11, 2008

toolshed

Location used to consummate deals with Satan, according to lyrics some Christian wingnut alleged were back-masked in Led Zeppelin's classic song "Stairway to Heaven".

" ... down there in the toolshed where he used to make us so sad O my sweet Satan ...,"

by Fearman May 24, 2008

glacicurriculaphobia

Morbid fear of that last crucial copy of your CV/resume being ruined by a splatter of melting ice cream.

Serious case of glacicurriculaphobia here; keep the CV safe.

by Fearman November 22, 2007

Tom Clancy

Middling quality thriller novelist who probably does his homework on the research end of things, is full of American jingoism, and avoids including sex scenes in his books because he thinks that makes them more respectable. Has had two middling good movies made of his work, The Hunt for Red October and The Sum of All Fears.

Bernie says she'd rather watch the movies they make of his books than read Tom Clancy's originals.

by Fearman May 26, 2008