Fearman's definitions

Salvador Dali

A confused artist but a genius. Distinctly gay (and I mean that in the most admiring way), but claimed to admire Franco, who was a fat little upstart. Painted perhaps the most famous artworks to join the Surrealist canon. Never got on with self-styled Surrealist Pope Andre Breton, who cynically pointed out that Dali's name was an anagram for "Avida Dollars". Then again, have you ever heard of a line of perfume called "Andre Breton"? No, I didn't think so. Gave his paintings long-winded titles that made their puzzling complexity all the more puzzling, and in whatever afterlife awaits Surrealist genius, his eyes are surely sparkling mischievously at the nonsense that academics are spouting about his sexuality. Well known for his antenna-moustache, his penchant for walking his pet lobster up the Rue de Rivoli, and his motifs of flyblown donkeys, ants, melting watches, crutches, conical anamorphoses of the Spectres of Voltaire, and all the rest. Without him, Ozzy Ozbourne would never have bitten a bat. Referenced in all the best rock songs from U2 to Queen. Worked with Luis Bunuel on L'Age d'Or and Un Chien Andalou (The Golden Age and An Andalucian Dog), two waaay cool movies. His antennae were the vibrissa of the world, and Cadaques was its nose. He promised to eat his wife Gala after she died, which contributed to her longevity. He said the only difference between himself and a madman was that he was not mad, and paranoiac-critically speaking, he was right.

Salvador Dali. Yaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy Salvador.

by Fearman August 31, 2007

homopedobestiapyronecrophilliac

Someone who makes love to dead young animals of the same sex, after first setting fire to them.

Now there's a foul stench coming from the farm just after the cow has calved, he's going down to the farm with matches and all the rest of his stuff; he's a homopedobestiapyronecrophilliac.

by Fearman September 7, 2007

heart

An organ with two functions: firstly, pumping blood around the body: secondly, getting its owner in trouble.

Follow your heart, but wear a helmet.

by Fearman August 31, 2007

doughnutting

Practice used in televised sessions in the UK's House of Commons (and other places) of surrounding the speaker at any one time with a coterie of camp followers who would yell "hear hear" and other such things. This would hopefully work to distract the cameraman's attention from the facts that firstly, most of the seats in the chamber would be empty, and secondly most of the remainder would be occupied by MPs who were filling in crosswords, sleeping, or otherwise unengaged in parliamentary business.

Expect lots more doughnutting around Gordon Brown in the next year or two.

by Fearman December 17, 2007

Osama bin Forgotten

Osama bin Laden. From what is effectively US policy towards the supposed mastermind of the September 11 attacks.

He was Osama bin Laden. Now he is Osama bin Forgotten.

by Fearman August 14, 2007

arnold schwarzenegger

Human flesh over a GOP chassis. Always out there. Coming for your support. Cannot be reasoned with. Cannot be bargained with. Does not feel pain, or fear, or pity, or remorse. And it absolutely will not stop. Ever. Until it gets to the White House.

Arnold Schwarzenegger:

Guten Tag. Mein name is Ahh-nuld. I want your vote, your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle.

by Fearman September 29, 2007

GW Pepper

Nickname for George W Bush. Taken from first two initials, and the name of Sheriff JW Pepper, a bumbling idiotic Deep Southern sheriff turning up in two of the Roger Moore Bond movies. Suits him, honest.

Yessireee, that there's Sheriff GW Pepper. Wheyooogowin, boah?

by Fearman October 23, 2007