Fearman's definitions

democracy

1. Form of government supposedly originating in classical Athens. The term is derived from the Greek words demos (people) and kratein (rule). Even in ancient Athens the "people" excluded women and slaves.

2. Government "of the people, by the people and for the people", to quote Abraham Lincoln.

3. In the present world, whatever suits those controlling the United States military.

Sometimes, son, it's unfortunately necessary to liquidate a coupla million gooks to bring them democracy, McDonald's and all that stuff. Praise the Lord and pass the ammo.

by Fearman December 23, 2007

musturbation

Self-righteous or ostentatious insistence that the entire Universe will disintegrate if one does not keep oneself busy. In other words (mime jerking hand up and down) you must-must-MUST do the dishes/feed the cat/write more letters. From the writings of M. Scott Peck.

You've been tiling and re-tiling the kitchen wall for the last year. When's the musturbation going to stop?

by Fearman August 31, 2007

mensalactophorophobia

Morbid fear of milk cartons used as jugs and left on a table.

Your mother-in-law has got mensalactophorophobia. You'd better get a proper earthenware jug for that cow juice right NOW.

by Fearman October 30, 2007

auromontanomoriphobia

Morbid fear of Rube Goldberg devices, elaborate systems built from everyday objects to convey mechanical energy across a given distance.

The candle burns the string which releases the hammer to knock the golf ball down the chute where it sends the row of nails rolling on their heads into each other and then ... oh NOOOOOOOO!!!!! I've got auromontanomoriphobia, get me out of here!

by Fearman September 7, 2007

oil brat

Someone from a family which has grown astronomically wealthy in the oil business, who has never had to work a tap in their life, and who may very well decide that they have nothing better to do with their free time than claim to be in touch with divinity, get a load of gullible people to follow them, and set about murdering innocent bystanders by the thousands. The two best known oil brats in the world at the time of writing reside (1) in the White House, and (2) probably somewhere in Afghanistan.

Advice on oil brats; don't vote for them, don't die for them, don't kill for them, certainly don't piss on them if they're on fire, leave them well enough alone.

by Fearman October 1, 2007

Venun

Drop-dead sexy woman who has entered a convent.

If you wanted to catch Pauline at the club, it's too late. She's taken orders and become a Venun.

by Fearman February 2, 2008

flip-flopping

In American politics, something Republicans accuse Democrats of doing when they're too dizzy from doing it themselves.

My fellow Americans, you know you can trust me more than that flip-flopping Democrat Clinton when I tell you this was in Iraq was about freedom, no, hold on a moment, it was about weapons of mass destruction, no, hold on, it was for democracy, no, it was about the Kurds, yeah, that was it, it was about the Kurds. Not about oil or God or any of that stuff. Excuse me, I'm off to bed now.

by Fearman January 15, 2008