Fearman's definitions
"Doctor" Gillian McKeith, known for her interest in the alleged medical value of feces in particular and the excremental nature of the woman and her advice in general. Much given, under the pretext of caring for people's health, to tearing them to bits on British TV for failing to live up to the the ideals of either mainstream medicine or, when that fails, those of Prince Charles. Possibly an indirect reference to the unrelated SF drama "Doctor Who".
by Fearman July 31, 2007
Get the Dr. Poo mug.I'm in love (yippee!!!) and I hate psychiatrists (fucking nut jobs, all of them, ALL OF THEM), who are out to control the world (trembles for a few moments) and drop hydrogen bombs on everybody (BIG ones, yeahhh). Hey, have you seen my girlfriend? (BOINNNGGG!!) I'm wild! You're cool, too! (Pulls hair out, laughs.) No, seriously? Oh. (Grows sullen.) Oh. (Grows REALLY sullen.) Oh. Why would you want to do that to me? No, seriously, why would you want to do that to me? Why? Why? Why would you want to do that to me? (Jumps up on couch, pulls dramatic stance, couch falls backward, he crawls up to kneel on the front of the seat.) They've hated me ever since I played a veteran of the Great Galactic War between the Thetans and the Engrammatised Ones. (Goes boggle-eyed, cackles, shrieks ...,) We're all going to be bigger than Oprah! (YAY!) And it makes me sick, you know that? Why isn't everyone looking at me RIGHT NOW? And you know what? I'm NOT GAY!!! Mimi! Ha! Nicole! Ha! Penelope! Ha! Katie, aww, KATIIEEE!!! Ha-haaaaaaaaaaaa! Here, I can lick my own balls, seriously. Just watch me ... (Licks own balls, audience stampede out of the auditorium.)
by Fearman April 16, 2008
Get the Tom Cruise mug.The joke towards the end of the opening credits to The Simpsons. Each week (or most weeks) something different happens when the family rush into the living room to watch the TV.
Various examples of the Couch Gag: the couch turns into a monster that swallows the family once they sit on it ... the end wall with the couch retreats down an increasingly long tunnel and they keep chasing after it ... Santa's Little Helper (their dog) is already sitting on the couch and snarls, hair bristling, as they close in ... the family crash into each other and break into little pieces on the floor with a noise like shattering porcelain.
by Fearman August 14, 2007
Get the couch gag mug.In the Bond franchise, the equivalent of one of those Chinese dinners. You'll want to watch his movies again and again ... and ten minutes after the end credits, you'll wonder why. How he managed to swing a record seven Bond movies is one of the universe's most arcane mysteries. The only Bond actor who could have made Richard Kiel's "Jaws" look good. Christopher Walken gave him one wrinkle too many in his last Bond outing, and Moore was mercifully retired.
On the plus side, he won quadruple gold in the 1952 Olympic Games ... in that sadly forgotten event, the eyebrow-raise.
On the plus side, he won quadruple gold in the 1952 Olympic Games ... in that sadly forgotten event, the eyebrow-raise.
Good evening, darling. The name's Moore. Roger Moore. I hear you throw pots. (Looks down lewdly and VERY obviously, glimpse of his pearly teeth, eyebrows raised). Ah, yes, and you have two gorgeous jugs as well. Shall we dine at the Ritz, my dear?
by Fearman August 4, 2007
Get the Roger Moore mug.The gentleman who appeared in the original Planet of the Apes movie, and recently handed in his firearms.
by Fearman April 10, 2008
Get the Charlton Heston mug.by Fearman February 2, 2008
Get the Venun mug.An Oxfam shyster is someone who tries to get a further discount in a charity shop (which may or may not be a branch of Oxfam) or who attempts to use the shop as a rubbish bin. Typical tactics include yelling, "I want to donate these, thank you!", leaving a large bag of (say) books at the counter and scooting out the door. Closer examination reveals a single layer of halfway good books (or just covers) overlying a mass of unsaleable and often physically unreadable mulch. The shop is left to discard the mulch because the Oxfam shyster couldn't bother their pretty little fat white arse to take the stuff to the dump themselves. Unlike the private citizen, the shop, being a charity, is (at least under Irish/EU law, dunno about America) obliged to pay a heavy charge on recycling, but who cares? As long as the Oxfam shyster gets their narcissistic business over and done with, that's fine with them, they're all right, Jack, and that's all that matters.
Another tactic is demanding a further discount off already rock-bottom prices because they need the money for something else. Food for the kids, petrol to get home, tins of dog or cat food, you name it. This is typically preceded by a pretense that they can't read price tags, and accompanied by an attempt to make it look like butter wouldn't melt in their mouths by saying they don't want the goods for themselves, but for a kid/relative/whatever who might need the info at a difficult time. Listen, love, if you need more money for petrol but can't afford the extra price of a cheeseburger, have you considered cycling?
Oxfam shysters can be of any age or either gender, but they tend to be elderly women more often than not, probably because this is the slice of the demographic best able to pull off the loveably-gaga routine, while at the same time being least likely to get a richly deserved kick in the toothless jawbone from the sort of well-meaning sucker who is likely to be running the shop. Beware the Oxfam shyster.
Another tactic is demanding a further discount off already rock-bottom prices because they need the money for something else. Food for the kids, petrol to get home, tins of dog or cat food, you name it. This is typically preceded by a pretense that they can't read price tags, and accompanied by an attempt to make it look like butter wouldn't melt in their mouths by saying they don't want the goods for themselves, but for a kid/relative/whatever who might need the info at a difficult time. Listen, love, if you need more money for petrol but can't afford the extra price of a cheeseburger, have you considered cycling?
Oxfam shysters can be of any age or either gender, but they tend to be elderly women more often than not, probably because this is the slice of the demographic best able to pull off the loveably-gaga routine, while at the same time being least likely to get a richly deserved kick in the toothless jawbone from the sort of well-meaning sucker who is likely to be running the shop. Beware the Oxfam shyster.
by Fearman February 1, 2008
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