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Fearman's definitions

landlord's contract

A written contract that is supposed to make a transaction look above board and official, and to suggest that the buyer has a degree of comeback, but which the party offering the document can ignore at will. As they say, it's not worth the paper it's printed on.
Dickie O'Kelly presented his tenants with the landlord's contract in connection with the quality of their accommodation, and then disappeared to South Africa with their money.
by Fearman August 10, 2007
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Elliott Carver

Played by Jonathan Pryce in Tomorrow Never Dies (1997). Newspaper magnate who likes to make his own stories. Had his wife murdered for colluding with 007 (and thoughtfully put her in his news bulletin). Prepared to risk WW3 in order to secure his market in China. Made the film. The only truly frightening Bond villain in the franchise's history.
Elliott Carver (on Bond's mobile in Hamburg): You have two things belonging to me, Mr. Bond. Now I've found one of them, I've a fair idea where the other one is.

(He is referring to his satellite decoder and his wife. Bond floors the accelerator back to the hotel ...,)
by Fearman August 4, 2007
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wenis

Sinew spelt backwards. Something very soft.
Wenis. Sinew. One or the other.
by Fearman November 11, 2007
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Charlton Heston

The gentleman who appeared in the original Planet of the Apes movie, and recently handed in his firearms.
Ain't nobody shot the ducky like Charlton Heston.
by Fearman April 10, 2008
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Marxism

Either this manifesto's dead or my watch has stopped.
What a nice idea at first sight and all that. Marxism Schmarxism.
by Fearman March 3, 2008
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Salvador Dali

A confused artist but a genius. Distinctly gay (and I mean that in the most admiring way), but claimed to admire Franco, who was a fat little upstart. Painted perhaps the most famous artworks to join the Surrealist canon. Never got on with self-styled Surrealist Pope Andre Breton, who cynically pointed out that Dali's name was an anagram for "Avida Dollars". Then again, have you ever heard of a line of perfume called "Andre Breton"? No, I didn't think so. Gave his paintings long-winded titles that made their puzzling complexity all the more puzzling, and in whatever afterlife awaits Surrealist genius, his eyes are surely sparkling mischievously at the nonsense that academics are spouting about his sexuality. Well known for his antenna-moustache, his penchant for walking his pet lobster up the Rue de Rivoli, and his motifs of flyblown donkeys, ants, melting watches, crutches, conical anamorphoses of the Spectres of Voltaire, and all the rest. Without him, Ozzy Ozbourne would never have bitten a bat. Referenced in all the best rock songs from U2 to Queen. Worked with Luis Bunuel on L'Age d'Or and Un Chien Andalou (The Golden Age and An Andalucian Dog), two waaay cool movies. His antennae were the vibrissa of the world, and Cadaques was its nose. He promised to eat his wife Gala after she died, which contributed to her longevity. He said the only difference between himself and a madman was that he was not mad, and paranoiac-critically speaking, he was right.
Salvador Dali. Yaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy Salvador.
by Fearman August 31, 2007
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as you do

Expression used ironically in a mocking tone to suggest that something idiotic someone has done is exactly what any ordinary intelligent person would have done in that situation ... NOT.
After one pedal flew off his pushbike and into the drains near Marie's, he tied one foot to the remaining pedal with twine for the return journey and pedalled extra hard, as you do.

Dizzy Dolly tried to cover up the catshit on the toilet floor by laying down the handle of the toilet brush across it, as you do.
by Fearman October 8, 2007
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