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Fearman's definitions

couch gag

The joke towards the end of the opening credits to The Simpsons. Each week (or most weeks) something different happens when the family rush into the living room to watch the TV.
Various examples of the Couch Gag: the couch turns into a monster that swallows the family once they sit on it ... the end wall with the couch retreats down an increasingly long tunnel and they keep chasing after it ... Santa's Little Helper (their dog) is already sitting on the couch and snarls, hair bristling, as they close in ... the family crash into each other and break into little pieces on the floor with a noise like shattering porcelain.
by Fearman August 14, 2007
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Tom Cruise

I'm in love (yippee!!!) and I hate psychiatrists (fucking nut jobs, all of them, ALL OF THEM), who are out to control the world (trembles for a few moments) and drop hydrogen bombs on everybody (BIG ones, yeahhh). Hey, have you seen my girlfriend? (BOINNNGGG!!) I'm wild! You're cool, too! (Pulls hair out, laughs.) No, seriously? Oh. (Grows sullen.) Oh. (Grows REALLY sullen.) Oh. Why would you want to do that to me? No, seriously, why would you want to do that to me? Why? Why? Why would you want to do that to me? (Jumps up on couch, pulls dramatic stance, couch falls backward, he crawls up to kneel on the front of the seat.) They've hated me ever since I played a veteran of the Great Galactic War between the Thetans and the Engrammatised Ones. (Goes boggle-eyed, cackles, shrieks ...,) We're all going to be bigger than Oprah! (YAY!) And it makes me sick, you know that? Why isn't everyone looking at me RIGHT NOW? And you know what? I'm NOT GAY!!! Mimi! Ha! Nicole! Ha! Penelope! Ha! Katie, aww, KATIIEEE!!! Ha-haaaaaaaaaaaa! Here, I can lick my own balls, seriously. Just watch me ... (Licks own balls, audience stampede out of the auditorium.)
The above was a party political broadcast on behalf of Tom Cruise.
by Fearman April 16, 2008
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necrocam

1. Internet movie made on a shoestring in the Netherlands about a group of three beautifully morbidly obsessed (or perhaps just eternally curious) teenagers who vow that the first of them to die will have the process of his/her decomposition broadcast on the Web from a camera installed in his/her well-lit coffin. Darkly witty, even if its reputation seems to exceed its availability.

2. Any similar setup in real life (or real death, I suppose). Unclear at the time of writing if anyone has actually done this, although there is at least one fake version on the Web. In theory there may or may not be cybernetically accessible environmental controls, more than one camera, et cetera.
I managed to download Necrocam a few years back. Gross, but intriguing.

Pamela says she wants necrocam coverage when she dies. Everyone to their own taste.
by Fearman April 10, 2008
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shit cubed

The epitome of evil, typically someone from the gutter who is the epitome of evil.
Stalin, Hitler, Pot Pot and a few other shining gentlemen who are shit cubed.
by Fearman August 19, 2007
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open-minded

1. Ready to accept on firm evidence that one's most cherished beliefs may be hogwash, but bearing in mind that extraordinary claims demand extraordinary evidence.

2. Politically correct synonym for "gullible" used by New Age quacks who want to sell you a bill of goods.
I am open-minded about the existence of the Judeo-Christian God. If he appears in the immortal flesh in the heavens to me and a few billion other people and manifests his power openly in such a manner that it cannot possibly be a dream, illusion, hallucination or anything of the sort, I'll accept he is there. In the meantime, it is more befitting the heritage of the human intellect to ignore such figures as mythical.

Open-mindedness is a virtue, but when dealing with New Age salespeople it is important to remember that if you keep your mind too open, your brain may fall out.
by Fearman March 29, 2008
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Benedict XVI

(As of 2007) current occupant of the Throne of Peter. Talks a fair amount about gays in rather shrill tones. Likes to hide behind other powerful men before coming into the limelight, as he did as the author of many of Karol Wojtyla's bulls. Really has a fabulous wardrobe. Last seen slinking around St. Peter's in a pair of ruby slippers, just like Judy. Has a birth name meaning rat-catcher, good job he got his current post so he can shed that skin and emerge from his chryalis transformed into a beautiful butterfly. Most beloved closet queen on the planet. After all, he may come from the backwoods of Deutschland, but deep down he knows, there's no place like Rome, there's no place like Rome (click click) there's no place like Rome.
by Fearman August 21, 2007
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dezz rezz

A really drop-dead gorgeous place to live. A waaaay cool house or flat. A contraction of desirable residence.
Mark has a dezz rezz out by Killiney Beach.
by Fearman October 5, 2007
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