Croatalin's definitions

Cunt

There are a number of different ways in which this word can be used, besides being an informal name for female genitalia*, it can be used in at least two other ways:

1) A derogatory name for a person you intensely dislike;
2) As an acronym standing variously for Computer User Non-Technical, Cannot Understand New Technology, Cannot Utilise Normal Thinking.
No doubt there are others as well, but those mentioned here all share a common theme in that the person described is a bit of a twat.

*For some reason this is now perceived to be offensive, but during the Middle Ages in Britain it was a word in common use indeed, it still remains in some street names e.g. Gropecunt Lane.

"Malcolm's ballsed up his computer again and doesn't know why."
"He really is a cunt!"

by Croatalin December 4, 2013

Clouts

Possibly deriving from cloths or clothes, clouts refer to a woman's pants, knickers or undergarments, particularly the baggy Bridget Jones type.

Her clouts were so big you could have used them as a two man pup-tent.

by Croatalin October 28, 2013

Whistling up a pig's ass

This picturesque expression was originally used by Rednecks in the USA, but has achieved wider usage due to combined operations of US and European troops. It is used to describe something that totally futile, a waste of time and effort and something that you do not wish to do. By extension it can be applied to mean a person who is a waste of time and effort, someone with whom you do not wish to associate and whose existence can only be described as one of nature's biggest mistakes..

Malcolm's made another great and glorious cock-up, that asshole really is no more use than whistling up a pig's ass!

by Croatalin April 26, 2014

Lunting

The British meaning of 'lunting' is to walk whilst smoking a pipe. Lunting is used by pipe smokers as a means of relaxation or easing stress. In addition Lunting can also mean emitting smoke or steam or the act of lighting a fire, torch or tobacco pipe.

Dating from around 1540 - 1550, the origin is believed to be from the Dutch word 'lont' meaning a slow match or fuse or possibly the Middle Low German 'lonte' meaning a wick.

"Sod this for a game of soldiers, I'm takin' me pipe and going lunting!"

by Croatalin December 4, 2013

Anosmia

Anosmia means having no sense of smell. If you have anosmia, you can't smell flowers, perfume, or home cooking, which can lead to sufferers becoming intensely depressed. There could be some advantages; when some diseased arsehole lets go a really poisonous fart you won't smell it, even though everyone else has tears in their eyes from trying not to puke. Similarly if you are stuck in a boring lecture next to someone whose BO is blistering the paintwork and has everyone else thinking that there's a malfunction in the sewage works you won't be bothered. On the whole, though, anosmia is pretty shit.

Malcolm suffers from anosmia, he must do, otherwise how does he live with himself?

by Croatalin January 27, 2014

Charlie

A breast, boob or tit. Although found in the singular form it is most frequently used as a plural, Charlies.

"Look at the Charlies on that!"
"Well, we'd just finished bonking and I was lying on me back at peace with the world and she turned over quick and I got a charlie right in the chops!"

by Croatalin September 8, 2013

londoncentric

A word used to describe the attitude of Londoners who seem incapable of realising that places other than London even exist. It describes the attitude that London is the centre of the universe and that anywhere else in the country or even the rest of the world is unimportant and not worthy of their attention. In short it describes people whose heads are so far up their own arseholes that if their eyes aren't brown then they ought to be.

Since he was moved to HQ, Malcolm has become really londoncentric.

by Croatalin January 26, 2014