8 definitions by Bructus
Name for an African-American male who tries to use "diversity" or "equal employment opportunity" policies to get a job regardless of their qualifications, or one who tries to play the race card to intimidate or influence others. From the Jedi Knight "Obi Wan Kenobi" of Star Wars and his famous "Jedi Mind Trick," where he fooled the Stormtroopers by telling them "These are not the droids you are looking for."
Black Guy: "I should apply for a job at that new restaurant. I see they ain't got any brothers workin there yet."
White Buddy: "Slow down, Toby Wan Kenobi. You got fired from your last three food service jobs. Maybe you should look into work you are actually qualified for."
or,
Cop #1: "I pulled over this beemer for doing 70 in a 50, and the driver was this wealthy-looking black guy. He had the nerve to accuse me of profiling, even though he had tinted windows, and I didn't know he was black until after I pulled him over!"
Cop #2 "I hate when they turn into Toby Wan Kenobi."
White Buddy: "Slow down, Toby Wan Kenobi. You got fired from your last three food service jobs. Maybe you should look into work you are actually qualified for."
or,
Cop #1: "I pulled over this beemer for doing 70 in a 50, and the driver was this wealthy-looking black guy. He had the nerve to accuse me of profiling, even though he had tinted windows, and I didn't know he was black until after I pulled him over!"
Cop #2 "I hate when they turn into Toby Wan Kenobi."
by Bructus December 6, 2010
The vaginal gestapo are a group of women in a work or school setting who subscribe to the belief that they are better or smarter than the men around them. Because of the intelligence and wisdom vested in them by the power of their thundery vaginas, the vaginal gestapo believe that the men around them should do their bidding.
Greg (talking on the phone): What's that screeching in the background, man? Do you need to get off the phone?
James: Don't sweat it. It's just the vaginal gestapo trying to volunteer me for extra work.
Greg: Dude, fuck that shit. Tell those bitches to do their own job.
James: Don't sweat it. It's just the vaginal gestapo trying to volunteer me for extra work.
Greg: Dude, fuck that shit. Tell those bitches to do their own job.
by Bructus January 23, 2011
Like cuddling up with someone, but over a phone. Which makes it even more worthless. Activity performed by people trying to validate a long-distance relationship, usually one that began online. Telespooning involves constantly calling or texting the other person in lieu of actual psysical contact. By constantly pestering the other person with communication, it is supposed to show that you care. Often a major sign of insecurity.
Guy #1: All he does on his lunch break is go out to his car and make a half-hour phone call. Who's he talking to every day?
Guy #2: He met this girl from Nevada online last month. He's telespooning with her. He is so whipped.
Guy #2: He met this girl from Nevada online last month. He's telespooning with her. He is so whipped.
by Bructus December 20, 2010
A woman who, by virtue of having a baby with her, or is undeniably pregnant, has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that she is not a virgin. She has put out. At least once.
James: How bout that girl over there?
Greg: Naw, man, she's pushing a stroller.
James: C'mon! That just means she's a proven performer!
Greg: Naw, man, she's pushing a stroller.
James: C'mon! That just means she's a proven performer!
by Bructus January 21, 2011
A half-brother who is also your cousin. The male offspring resulting when your sperm donor also impregnated your mom's sister. The male version of a couster.
I used to get along really well with my cousin Jake, until I found out we had the same dad. Now he's my brosin, and it's kinda awkward.
by Bructus August 16, 2010
Action when a police officer has his restraints on a person tight enough to be secure, then ratchets them down just a little further to the point of discomfort, usu. because the offender did something to piss off said officer.
When they finally caught the perp, Officer Barrelgutz threw a dick click on the guy's cuffs for making his fat ass run.
by Bructus September 29, 2010
The drinking that ensues as a result of the depression created when state employees are sent home for monthly mandated days off without pay. Said drinking results in a condition known as being “furloughded” and brings with it temporary numbness and a feeling of euphoria. This condition is common in California and Washington State, other states are expected to follow.
Greg: You doin' anything today?
James: Naw, man. They made me take the day off without pay cuz of budget cuts. I got a fifth of Jack and a case of Rolling Rock. I'm gonna get furloughded.
Greg: I'm in!!!
James: Naw, man. They made me take the day off without pay cuz of budget cuts. I got a fifth of Jack and a case of Rolling Rock. I'm gonna get furloughded.
Greg: I'm in!!!
by Bructus January 13, 2011