How do you breathe?

YOU'RE DOING IT RIGHT NOW, AS YOU READ THIS! It is the action of simply inhaling and exhaling. which you take in oxygen(among other things) and your cells do some shit called cellular respiratory to take that gluten...Wait no, glucose, and make it carbon dioxide, the very thing that will kill us all. Your respiratory system then takes your shitty carbon dioxide and chucks it out of your system, A.K.A. exhaling, because your body knows that carbon dioxide is bad for you, and instead it hates you for paying more attention to your dick than literally any other part of your body. So in response to this, your body, and everyone else's, yeets that carbon dying-oxide into the atmosphere, which is a small contribution to climate change, but still is there. Still haven't taken a breath? Go to Google images and search, "cool images" and then scroll to the bottom, and when you see "Show more?" or "The rest of this may not be what you are searching for. Continue anyway?" and click yes, or whatever button is there for you to continue. Keep doing this until you have to take a breath, no matter how cool or not the images actually are.

Someone: Oh shit, I can't breathe...I'm dying...
Me: If you're talking this much, you are definitely breathing, don't make me tell you how to breathe.
That same someone: How do you-
*gunshot*
Me: How do you breathe? Try it now, it should be easier, since now there's nothing blocking your wind pipe, except a gaping hole. But that should work, right? Cause it just lets more air in, so that should make breathing even easier for you, right?
That same now dead someone: .
Me: Ok. Bye!

by PORGSSSS May 10, 2023