"You can leave a pitted/abraded/scratched/bubbled/discolored windshield in your car till 0%!$@&# Doomsday and it will never get hit, but then just as soon as you actually REPLACE said "ancient" glass wif a brand new one, THAT'S when you'll get a bleepin' BIG OL' PEBBLE tossed up by a passing vehicle, and star-crack your nice shiny-fresh windshield all to Hell!"
After several years I eventually got sick and tired of all da misty triplex-haze on my car's original-from-the-factory windshield, and so I finally replaced it --- wouldn't you know that the VERY NEXT DAY it got a huge crack in it after a rock got thrown up by the wheel of a passing dump-truck! Ahhhhrrrggggghhhhh... classic case of Murphy's Law Of Windshield-Damage, I guess!!
by QuacksO July 31, 2018
Get the Murphy's Law Of Windshield-Damagemug. You can wait 'n' wait till clear into mid-May to trim off your itchy bushy Santa-Claus winter beard and you'll have nuthin' but sweltering-skinned moderate-temperature days all along, but if you "break out da Norelco" at any point during dat period, da weather will immediately turn frigid and blustery again, and then you'll have chilly-cheeks syndrome for an entire month!
One good way to minimize da "Murphy's Law of shaving" debacle is to simply wait till da end of March to "mow da lawn" --- dat way, you'll not be so likely to needlessly suffer from extra-warm weather-temps' making your chin and jowls feel like they're inside a blast-furnace, but on da other hand, it will minimize da chances of "freezin' yer face off", too, since there are seldom any significant cold snaps later than three months into da new year.
by QuacksO March 15, 2025
Get the Murphy's Law of shavingmug. "A device that you're repairing will operate **absolutely perfectly** while you have it taken apart to work on it, but then when you get it all put back together and have all the cabinet-screws re-inserted, THAT'S when the device will decide not to work again."
To lessen the chance of getting "bitten" by Murphy's Law of Post-repair Reassembly, one should double-check everything on a refurbished device before putting it back together again.
by QuacksO March 07, 2019
Get the Murphy's Law of Post-repair Reassemblymug. When a woman give a fellatio to a man after consuming potential barf material and end up puking on the man’s shaft
by Canadiah December 12, 2019
Get the Murphy’s lawmug. "If you 'prepare for the worst' by bringing along extra jackets/gloves, an umbrella, etc., then the skies will be sunny and mild all the time you're 'out 'n' about'. But if you decide to leave all that stuff behind at home and set out on your trip in just your ordinary street-clothes, there'll be a bleepin' MONSOON or HURRICANE!
The morning started out kinda overcast and nippy, so I brought an umbrella, thick hoodie-jacket, and gloves with me when I set out to run some errands around town. Well, naturally, once I got a fair distance from home and thus I didn't wanna traipse all the way back to put everything away again, the sun came out and the day got really warm, and so I was just feverishly lugging all that extra stuff around with me for nothing... classic case of "Murphy's Law of Foul-Weather Gear", I guess.
by QuacksO May 18, 2019
Get the Murphy's Law of Foul-Weather Gearmug. "You can 'watch 'n' observe' as carefully as you please while driving and you will still miss your turn-off, and so no amount of continued 'Oh, I'm sure it's just around the next curve" tootling further down the road will bring you to it. But if you do actually decide to turn around and go back to see if you did inadvertently pass your desired intersection, it will of course NOT be 'back there', and you will subsequently find out that you'd been within just a few hundred yards of it at the point when you'd turned around, and so you simply wasted gas and time by backtracking; it had indeed been 'just around the next corner', and so you'd have reached it the first time if you simply hadn't been so gol-durned impatient."
I missed my turn-off during a road-trip because I was carefully watching out for traffic and thus never noticed the side-road I wanted --- classic case of Murphy's Law of Intersections!
by QuacksO May 18, 2019
Get the Murphy's Law of Intersectionsmug. That every thing Murphy says is true and should be followed. Except for the things that aren't funny, which are.... alot.
by Murphy September 10, 2003
Get the murphy's lawmug.