12 definitions by x427
A multiplication factor used to calculate how long someone with a ‘delicate posterior’ takes to have a shit. (Approximately 3.5-4.0)
Often taking obscene lengths of time for the most un-noteworthy of bowel movements, thus delaying countless trips, activities and functions.
Often taking obscene lengths of time for the most un-noteworthy of bowel movements, thus delaying countless trips, activities and functions.
George: How long has Danny been away shitting? Surely he can’t take this long.
Josh: I know it should only be 10-15 minutes.
Jack: Have you applied Gyte’s Factor? That would take it to at least 30 minutes.
Josh: I know it should only be 10-15 minutes.
Jack: Have you applied Gyte’s Factor? That would take it to at least 30 minutes.
by x427 May 26, 2022
The calculation or guestimate required to work out just the right amount of alcohol and “vitamin powder” you can stand before having to play Sunday league at 10 in the morning.
Often miscalculated, leading to injuries, vomiting and disappointed teammates.
Often miscalculated, leading to injuries, vomiting and disappointed teammates.
Richard: “What’s George doing over there?”
Jack: “Trying to work out his prematch limits.”
Andrew: “Oh. The Biscuit Conundrum.”
Daniel: “I hope he gets it right. He’s got a relegation 6 pointer tomorrow morning”
Jack: “Trying to work out his prematch limits.”
Andrew: “Oh. The Biscuit Conundrum.”
Daniel: “I hope he gets it right. He’s got a relegation 6 pointer tomorrow morning”
by x427 October 5, 2023
A value representative of someone's ability to hold out when under immense pressure from friends or family, even if it is to do something they really want to do or will really enjoy. Can be calculated by the equation: (Stubbornness x Need to be right) cubed.
George: I want to get Dan to play pro clubs again but I don't think he's going to do it.
Daniel: Yeah he's a stubborn bastard.
Matty: Have you applied the Robson Coefficient?
Daniel: Yeah he's a stubborn bastard.
Matty: Have you applied the Robson Coefficient?
by x427 February 16, 2021
The ruler of all dairy. He’s the guy you go to with any kind of milky queries.
The omnipotent Fifa Pro Clubs CAM, matched only by ‘Keith’ and ‘The Gargoyle’ renown for the 4 bar screamer.
Goes about their daily business under a pseudonym that usually adopts the initials CM, can often be found frequenting the nightclubs of Essex
The omnipotent Fifa Pro Clubs CAM, matched only by ‘Keith’ and ‘The Gargoyle’ renown for the 4 bar screamer.
Goes about their daily business under a pseudonym that usually adopts the initials CM, can often be found frequenting the nightclubs of Essex
Liam: “Damn it, I don’t know whether to use Yoghurt or Creme to counter this chilli sauce”.
Danny: “Have you consulted the Yoghurt Overlord?”
Liam: “Nah where can I find them?”
Matt: “It’s past 9pm so Subby-Z is your best bet.”
Danny: “Have you consulted the Yoghurt Overlord?”
Liam: “Nah where can I find them?”
Matt: “It’s past 9pm so Subby-Z is your best bet.”
by x427 October 13, 2021
The time difference from your chosen time zone (BST, EST, ECT. etc) to the one being used by a terrible time keeper. Usually meaning they will vastly underestimate the time they need to complete a task or overestimate how fast they can travel somewhere, making them the constant reason for delays in planning and execution of group activities.
Cal: I’ll be home in 10 minutes and load up a playlist as soon as i get online. So… gimme 20 minutes and we’re set.
Dan: Is that GMT or McCarthy Standard Time?
Jack: See you in an hour Cal. 🙄
Dan: Is that GMT or McCarthy Standard Time?
Jack: See you in an hour Cal. 🙄
by x427 January 9, 2023
A sparkalaphobic Neil Warnock impersonator with a penchant for biased opinions towards Aston Villa.
Can regularly be found performing ultimate levels of shithousery on the Sunday league football pitch and teaching young children to swear at their parents and siblings.
Titchyy is someone that has the ability to summon bats to his side at will and often enjoys their company over that of a permanent human companion.
Can regularly be found performing ultimate levels of shithousery on the Sunday league football pitch and teaching young children to swear at their parents and siblings.
Titchyy is someone that has the ability to summon bats to his side at will and often enjoys their company over that of a permanent human companion.
Jack: I don’t know how to describe Richard he’s just on another level.
Josh: He’s Titchyy14. End of.
Jack: You know what, I think you’re right.
Josh: He’s Titchyy14. End of.
Jack: You know what, I think you’re right.
by x427 December 17, 2021
All round Top Bloke and Mariners Ultra.
Rules his shed domain with the iron fisted nature of a fascist dictator but is a must have in any friendship group.
Can regularly be found prowling the isles of his local budget superstore for Karens and other ne'er-do-wells. As such their alter-ego of PC Spud is well placed to clamp down hard on idiots and pisstakers.
Is known to have a fear of Cats and Aeroplanes, an intolerance of bullshit and a loathing of Scunthorpe.
Infamously got Stuart Pearce to sign a Fanta bottle, so as to not “dirty” the shirt he was wearing.
Rules his shed domain with the iron fisted nature of a fascist dictator but is a must have in any friendship group.
Can regularly be found prowling the isles of his local budget superstore for Karens and other ne'er-do-wells. As such their alter-ego of PC Spud is well placed to clamp down hard on idiots and pisstakers.
Is known to have a fear of Cats and Aeroplanes, an intolerance of bullshit and a loathing of Scunthorpe.
Infamously got Stuart Pearce to sign a Fanta bottle, so as to not “dirty” the shirt he was wearing.
Jack: “Help I have a problem that I can’t solve and I can’t find Vanilla Ice or the A-Team… what am I going to do?”
Richard: “Call xSpudhead he’ll always have you covered.”
Richard: “Call xSpudhead he’ll always have you covered.”
by x427 November 29, 2021