tuftskins's definitions

co-worthless

A lazy, unproductive co-worker, whose lack of work ethic means you have to work that much harder to carry their load.

My co-worthless Lester called in sick again and now I'm stuck covering his graveyard shift. I hope the little weasel gets sick for real!

by tuftskins January 27, 2010

trucker's toilet

A large mouthed plastic bottle (think Gatorade) used by a trucker in lieu of other facilities. True road kings can use one while holding 65. Some truckers dispose of trucker's toilets by tossing them out the window, and if you keep an eye out, you'll spot these half-full gems along interstates everywhere.

With a wind chill of -40 on Wyoming's I-80, Todd decided to forgo the Rest Area. The trucker's toilet in the heated cab of his Kenworth came in real handy.

by tuftskins November 30, 2009

Bureaucrap

A lazy, paper-shuffling government worker. Bureaucrap's main duty is spending all money they are allotted by any means necessary, then asking for more the next fiscal year. Bureaucraps perpetuate the problems they are assigned to solve, as this is job security.

Upon realizing there was still $200,000 in the department's budget, bureaucrap Dan successfully arranged five seminars dealing with "Diversity in a Mid-Level Management Paradigm."

by Tuftskins April 29, 2009

flush and dump

Differing from a shit and split, a flush and dump is often done out of consideration, or due to turd insecurity.

The action involves expelling a turd at the same time one hits the flush lever on a toilet.

This is done to mask a noisy turd in a public restroom or to quickly get rid of a smelly turd before it renders a bathroom uninhabitable.

Since it was his first time at her house, Andrew courteously performed a flush and dump in Martha's bathroom, vastly improving his chances of scoring that night.

by Tuftskins April 30, 2009

Shit Santa

Someone who leaves a turd behind in a toilet, usually public. Usually, this "gift" is well wrapped with toilet paper and so large that the toilet cannot be flushed safely.

Like Santa Claus, Shit Santa is legendary and never seen. Unlike Santa Claus, Shit Santa operates 365 days a year, and no one looks forward to his visits.

Don't use that toilet, dude. Shit Santa left a real nasty one.

by Tuftskins April 30, 2009

clignioles

The mysterious little balls of lint which somehow end up in the seams of men's briefs.

Melissa found the clignioles in Kevin's whitey-tightys more repulsive than his belly-button lint.

by Tuftskins April 29, 2009

Teahag

A female leftist reporter who covers TEA parties. Too arrogant to believe free speech applies to anyone but them, these womyn make snide jokes and/or ask pointed derisive questions of exasperated taxpayers exercising their right to assembly. Rumor has it they are just doing what their bosses told them to, after their hiring session on the news network's version of the casting couch.

CNN's Susan Roesgen and M(etro)S(exual)NBC's Rachel Madcow are excellent examples.

MSNBC teahag Rachel Maddow insults protesters in a puerile attempt at infotainment.

by Tuftskins April 20, 2009