tuftskins's definitions

trucker's toilet

A large mouthed plastic bottle (think Gatorade) used by a trucker in lieu of other facilities. True road kings can use one while holding 65. Some truckers dispose of trucker's toilets by tossing them out the window, and if you keep an eye out, you'll spot these half-full gems along interstates everywhere.

With a wind chill of -40 on Wyoming's I-80, Todd decided to forgo the Rest Area. The trucker's toilet in the heated cab of his Kenworth came in real handy.

by tuftskins November 30, 2009

flush and dump

Differing from a shit and split, a flush and dump is often done out of consideration, or due to turd insecurity.

The action involves expelling a turd at the same time one hits the flush lever on a toilet.

This is done to mask a noisy turd in a public restroom or to quickly get rid of a smelly turd before it renders a bathroom uninhabitable.

Since it was his first time at her house, Andrew courteously performed a flush and dump in Martha's bathroom, vastly improving his chances of scoring that night.

by Tuftskins April 30, 2009

Necktie Cult

The Federal Government. The politicians, lawyers, journalists, bureaucrats, lobbyists, and other hangers-on who parade in front of TV cameras, trying to make us think they really matter.

So named due the astounding preponderance of neckties worn by all involved.

Big Bear: "Looks like the Necktie Cult wants to raise taxes again."

Heather: "Mmmm. Good thing we're tax rebels!"

by tuftskins March 23, 2010

smooth-chested prettyboy

Hairless males (usually shaven) who dominate advertisements, as well as gracing the covers of celebrity magazines and romance novels everywhere.

It might be part of the metrosexual movement, and hopefully, it doesn't lead to a societal norm of hairy women.

Married to Big Bear, who has a chest like a rug, Heather finds the proliferation of smooth-chested prettyboys in popular culture annoying.

by tuftskins January 10, 2010

penis candy

1) A hot chick. Very similar to eye candy, the terms can be interchangeable. But if a girl is penis candy, guys want to do more than just look at her.

2) A girl capable of causing an instant erection.

3) Viagra or similar pills.

"Check out Megan, she's sooo hot!"

"Yeah, she's penis candy."

"Viagra is penis candy."

"Don't need no Viagra. Just watching her walk puts a rise in my Levis."

by Tuftskins May 2, 2009

Farrow

(verb); also "Farrowed"

To put under a love spell. To completely intoxicate and arouse with a combination of mystery, humor, wit, sexiness, intelligence, spark, and dark passion.

Matt: "Roger, what's up with you? You look like you're on Cloud fucking 9!"

Roger: "Ahh, I have been Farrowed, my friend. Sooo nice!"

by tuftskins March 20, 2010

Bureaucrap

A lazy, paper-shuffling government worker. Bureaucrap's main duty is spending all money they are allotted by any means necessary, then asking for more the next fiscal year. Bureaucraps perpetuate the problems they are assigned to solve, as this is job security.

Upon realizing there was still $200,000 in the department's budget, bureaucrap Dan successfully arranged five seminars dealing with "Diversity in a Mid-Level Management Paradigm."

by Tuftskins April 29, 2009