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tuftskins's definitions

Shit Santa

Someone who leaves a turd behind in a toilet, usually public. Usually, this "gift" is well wrapped with toilet paper and so large that the toilet cannot be flushed safely.

Like Santa Claus, Shit Santa is legendary and never seen. Unlike Santa Claus, Shit Santa operates 365 days a year, and no one looks forward to his visits.
Don't use that toilet, dude. Shit Santa left a real nasty one.
by Tuftskins April 30, 2009
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flush and dump

Differing from a shit and split, a flush and dump is often done out of consideration, or due to turd insecurity.

The action involves expelling a turd at the same time one hits the flush lever on a toilet.

This is done to mask a noisy turd in a public restroom or to quickly get rid of a smelly turd before it renders a bathroom uninhabitable.
Since it was his first time at her house, Andrew courteously performed a flush and dump in Martha's bathroom, vastly improving his chances of scoring that night.
by Tuftskins April 30, 2009
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cracker rap

Commercial country music. Not the classic stuff, but the twangy modern mass marketed country that's all about trucks, cowboy hats, etc.

Like rap music, every singer sounds the same and sings about the same stuff. Unlike rap, it's aimed at white people, or at least some white people.

Rap for hicks.
It seemed like every truck stop Jamie stopped at between Minneapolis and Spokane was blaring cracker rap on the outside speakers.
by tuftskins January 19, 2010
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trooting

From Television Rooting. Rooting for your favorite sports team on TV when you can't be at the game.

While trooting has no effect on team morale or energy, it is practiced religiously by fans in sports bars and living rooms everywhere. Trooting may also contain more profanity than ordinary rooting, depending on the venue.
The guys down at Paddy's Bar were all trooting for the Bulls to win.
by Tuftskins May 1, 2009
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problem saturation

A process by which Mainstream Media addresses an issue incessantly, building up to a sense of pending doom. Of course, the problem, while worrisome, does not pose the grave threat they would like you to believe. Finally, MSM abandons coverage of the problem completely, moving on to another problem.
"Honey, why don't we hear any news about the drug cartels anymore?"

"That was last month's problem saturation, dear."
by Tuftskins April 30, 2009
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Necktie Cult

The Federal Government. The politicians, lawyers, journalists, bureaucrats, lobbyists, and other hangers-on who parade in front of TV cameras, trying to make us think they really matter.

So named due the astounding preponderance of neckties worn by all involved.
Big Bear: "Looks like the Necktie Cult wants to raise taxes again."

Heather: "Mmmm. Good thing we're tax rebels!"
by tuftskins March 23, 2010
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Biocarpetous

Pertaining to life forms found in carpet.
Floyd's failure to clean up numerous beer spills resulted in biocarpetous mold cultures.
by Tuftskins April 29, 2009
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