tuftskins's definitions

trucker's toilet

A large mouthed plastic bottle (think Gatorade) used by a trucker in lieu of other facilities. True road kings can use one while holding 65. Some truckers dispose of trucker's toilets by tossing them out the window, and if you keep an eye out, you'll spot these half-full gems along interstates everywhere.

With a wind chill of -40 on Wyoming's I-80, Todd decided to forgo the Rest Area. The trucker's toilet in the heated cab of his Kenworth came in real handy.

by tuftskins November 30, 2009

Bureaucrap

A lazy, paper-shuffling government worker. Bureaucrap's main duty is spending all money they are allotted by any means necessary, then asking for more the next fiscal year. Bureaucraps perpetuate the problems they are assigned to solve, as this is job security.

Upon realizing there was still $200,000 in the department's budget, bureaucrap Dan successfully arranged five seminars dealing with "Diversity in a Mid-Level Management Paradigm."

by Tuftskins April 29, 2009

explosion trailer

A trailer for a movie with heavy use of explosions. The term "explosion trailer" is always preceded by a number indicating the amount of explosions.

Explosion trailers are light on serious dialogue and the audience is sometimes left wondering what the movie is about, other than explosions. The number of fourteen-year old boys who will see the movie increases exponentially with the number of explosions in the trailer.

Usually, a movie with an explosion trailer is not considered Oscar-worthy, unless it is for special effects. For the life of me, I can't recall an explosion trailer featuring Meryl Streep.

After seeing the seven-explosion trailer for Timecop III, all the boys in Ms. Shull's 9th grade homeroom couldn't wait to see it.

by Tuftskins May 6, 2009

Necktie Cult

The Federal Government. The politicians, lawyers, journalists, bureaucrats, lobbyists, and other hangers-on who parade in front of TV cameras, trying to make us think they really matter.

So named due the astounding preponderance of neckties worn by all involved.

Big Bear: "Looks like the Necktie Cult wants to raise taxes again."

Heather: "Mmmm. Good thing we're tax rebels!"

by tuftskins March 23, 2010

lie-ence

Science supported by made up facts or fudged data. Junk science.

Man-caused Globull Warming and any "scientific studies" touted by late night infomercials are lie-ence.

The practitioners of lie-ence may be called lie-entists to distinguish them from other liars.

Bill: "Wow! This scientific study says Snake Oil will increase the size of my penis!"

Krystin: "Don't be a sucker. That sounds like lie-ence to me."

by tuftskins December 9, 2009

clignioles

The mysterious little balls of lint which somehow end up in the seams of men's briefs.

Melissa found the clignioles in Kevin's whitey-tightys more repulsive than his belly-button lint.

by Tuftskins April 29, 2009

poll sucker

Someone who relies heavily on political or other polls. Even though the media conducts polls on a seemingly daily basis, it is hard to find anyone who has actually been contacted, or knows someone who has. This tends to support the theory that pollsters are actually the guy who passes the bong to the journalist as they snicker like school girls over their snow job.

The poll sucker, however, views polls as infallible. They will even quote poll numbers in an argument.

Shirley: "Wow, Dick Cheney's approval rating is higher than Obama's!"

Lou: "Don't be such a poll sucker. Someone pulled those figures out of their butt."

by Tuftskins June 2, 2009