tuftskins's definitions

Bureaucrap

A lazy, paper-shuffling government worker. Bureaucrap's main duty is spending all money they are allotted by any means necessary, then asking for more the next fiscal year. Bureaucraps perpetuate the problems they are assigned to solve, as this is job security.

Upon realizing there was still $200,000 in the department's budget, bureaucrap Dan successfully arranged five seminars dealing with "Diversity in a Mid-Level Management Paradigm."

by Tuftskins April 29, 2009

trucker's toilet

A large mouthed plastic bottle (think Gatorade) used by a trucker in lieu of other facilities. True road kings can use one while holding 65. Some truckers dispose of trucker's toilets by tossing them out the window, and if you keep an eye out, you'll spot these half-full gems along interstates everywhere.

With a wind chill of -40 on Wyoming's I-80, Todd decided to forgo the Rest Area. The trucker's toilet in the heated cab of his Kenworth came in real handy.

by tuftskins November 30, 2009

Necktie Cult

The Federal Government. The politicians, lawyers, journalists, bureaucrats, lobbyists, and other hangers-on who parade in front of TV cameras, trying to make us think they really matter.

So named due the astounding preponderance of neckties worn by all involved.

Big Bear: "Looks like the Necktie Cult wants to raise taxes again."

Heather: "Mmmm. Good thing we're tax rebels!"

by tuftskins March 23, 2010

penis candy

1) A hot chick. Very similar to eye candy, the terms can be interchangeable. But if a girl is penis candy, guys want to do more than just look at her.

2) A girl capable of causing an instant erection.

3) Viagra or similar pills.

"Check out Megan, she's sooo hot!"

"Yeah, she's penis candy."

"Viagra is penis candy."

"Don't need no Viagra. Just watching her walk puts a rise in my Levis."

by Tuftskins May 2, 2009

barkbag

A very noisy, irritating dog which barks incessantly, usually during hours when Dracula stalks, for any or no reason.

If that barkbag doesn't shut up, I'm calling the cops!

by Tuftskins May 1, 2009

Globull Warming

Junk science that claims man can make the earth's temperatures rise. Recently proven to be bunk, based on lies. Gee, we can't make it rain in LA, but we have the power to change the planet's temperatures...riiiiight.

Globull Warming is a con game designed to make a few people rich with scare tactics. It's followers are a cult, and they are now at the Jonestown stage.

It's 5 degrees in Spokane, WA, right now. Fuck Globull Warming!

by tuftskins December 10, 2009

explosion trailer

A trailer for a movie with heavy use of explosions. The term "explosion trailer" is always preceded by a number indicating the amount of explosions.

Explosion trailers are light on serious dialogue and the audience is sometimes left wondering what the movie is about, other than explosions. The number of fourteen-year old boys who will see the movie increases exponentially with the number of explosions in the trailer.

Usually, a movie with an explosion trailer is not considered Oscar-worthy, unless it is for special effects. For the life of me, I can't recall an explosion trailer featuring Meryl Streep.

After seeing the seven-explosion trailer for Timecop III, all the boys in Ms. Shull's 9th grade homeroom couldn't wait to see it.

by Tuftskins May 6, 2009