3 definitions by stinkbuttboy
The slippery slope of becoming a wannabe "Pro Photographer" that starts with the rule of 1 in 1,000.
With the advent of digital slr cameras for under $500 every mom with a camera takes 1,000 pictures of their child, 1 of those pictures is pretty good and when shown to a friend or family member she hears the golden words "that shot is great...you have a real knack for photography" and so the journey begins.
Without any inkling of ISO, shutter speed, aperture, color balance, lighting, composition...any thought at all (AUTO EVERYTHING) mom thinks she has actual talent.
Through the marketing avenues of friends she books a few gigs shooting babies on bedsheets with gerber daisies, wearing funny colorful hats, hanging in cheese cloth, hands shaped in the form of hearts on expecting bellies, bad lighting, composition and exposure, but the ability to "sell it as art" since she's now a pro shooter.
1.) Images way to photoshopped, skintones are blown out, yellow, way to saturated.
2.) Won't give you a receipt since hubby is the bread winner and doesn't claim her income, it's tax free money under the table.
3.) Uses pirated photoshop.
4.) All the comments on their "mommy photo blog" are posted by the same 10 people every post with generic comments like "OMG, SO CUTE!!!!" or "Lisa, you are SO talented, OMG!!!" It's pretty much a must to have multiple exclamation points OMG! All comments must be dripping with unbelievable back patting ooze.
With the advent of digital slr cameras for under $500 every mom with a camera takes 1,000 pictures of their child, 1 of those pictures is pretty good and when shown to a friend or family member she hears the golden words "that shot is great...you have a real knack for photography" and so the journey begins.
Without any inkling of ISO, shutter speed, aperture, color balance, lighting, composition...any thought at all (AUTO EVERYTHING) mom thinks she has actual talent.
Through the marketing avenues of friends she books a few gigs shooting babies on bedsheets with gerber daisies, wearing funny colorful hats, hanging in cheese cloth, hands shaped in the form of hearts on expecting bellies, bad lighting, composition and exposure, but the ability to "sell it as art" since she's now a pro shooter.
1.) Images way to photoshopped, skintones are blown out, yellow, way to saturated.
2.) Won't give you a receipt since hubby is the bread winner and doesn't claim her income, it's tax free money under the table.
3.) Uses pirated photoshop.
4.) All the comments on their "mommy photo blog" are posted by the same 10 people every post with generic comments like "OMG, SO CUTE!!!!" or "Lisa, you are SO talented, OMG!!!" It's pretty much a must to have multiple exclamation points OMG! All comments must be dripping with unbelievable back patting ooze.
How was your session? I forgot all of my equipment at the studio so I just soccer mom'd it.
Wow, uuum, those images are really something? Yeah, I went to a soccer mom photographer. We didn't have the money for a professional photographer.
Those pictures look like my mom took them! That's because we used a soccer mom photographer.
Wow, uuum, those images are really something? Yeah, I went to a soccer mom photographer. We didn't have the money for a professional photographer.
Those pictures look like my mom took them! That's because we used a soccer mom photographer.
by stinkbuttboy February 17, 2010
The art of taking a mediocre (or just plain bad!) image and turning it into a sell-able image through the use of photoshop actions or filters.
With the advent of turd polishers like kubuta, craig, rad and all the other overnight wannabes (and contrary to Butthead, Beavis...) you can polish a turd! They know you have no skill but want you to fork over your hard earned dough in hopes of being the next big hit (it smells like a nigerian make a million internet scam)!
Exposure, Shutter Speed...Blah, Aperture, ISO, white balance...Blah, think with your wallet Jimmy! Don't worry about craft or skill...just make money!
Take that crappy image, spend 5 hours in photoshop with actions and make it "pop"! (not to be confused with the original image which was poop).
A common practice used by debbie digitals and soccer mom photographers to make some money on the side until the kids get in school.
With the advent of turd polishers like kubuta, craig, rad and all the other overnight wannabes (and contrary to Butthead, Beavis...) you can polish a turd! They know you have no skill but want you to fork over your hard earned dough in hopes of being the next big hit (it smells like a nigerian make a million internet scam)!
Exposure, Shutter Speed...Blah, Aperture, ISO, white balance...Blah, think with your wallet Jimmy! Don't worry about craft or skill...just make money!
Take that crappy image, spend 5 hours in photoshop with actions and make it "pop"! (not to be confused with the original image which was poop).
A common practice used by debbie digitals and soccer mom photographers to make some money on the side until the kids get in school.
1.) I thought I was going to have to re-shoot that session but with a little kublota digital slop I'm a professional photographer again; wink wink.
2.) Did you see Tim's senior pictures? That Digital Slop made him look like a million bucks!!!
3.) Light meter...blah...who needs one, with digital slop I'm a Vgalleriawanabia!
2.) Did you see Tim's senior pictures? That Digital Slop made him look like a million bucks!!!
3.) Light meter...blah...who needs one, with digital slop I'm a Vgalleriawanabia!
by stinkbuttboy February 20, 2010
The guy (or gal) sitting next to you on a long flight who's body protrudes beyond their seat invading your personal (and paid for) space making the trip uncomfortable/awkward/unpleasant/torturous.
Almost to the point where you wish the plane would go down for more room or choosing to spend the entire flight duration in the lav just to get some space.
Love the guy's work, just wouldn't want to sit next to him on a long flight.
I'd like to smoke on my flights but that isn't comfortable for other passengers, should they suffer so I'm happy?
See also; web whiner / chasing space / Jay and Space Hoggin' Bob / twitter whiner / Faceboo-hooer
Almost to the point where you wish the plane would go down for more room or choosing to spend the entire flight duration in the lav just to get some space.
Love the guy's work, just wouldn't want to sit next to him on a long flight.
I'd like to smoke on my flights but that isn't comfortable for other passengers, should they suffer so I'm happy?
See also; web whiner / chasing space / Jay and Space Hoggin' Bob / twitter whiner / Faceboo-hooer
1.) I just flew in from LAX, what the crap, I got Kevin Smith'd all 5 hours. I'm covered in sweat and it's not even mine.
2.) Why is the right side of your shirt all wrinkled? I got Kevin Smith'd on my flight from SAN to DTW!
3.) How was your trip? My arm is still numb from getting Kevin Smith'd all the way from Dallas, what a faceboo-hooer.
2.) Why is the right side of your shirt all wrinkled? I got Kevin Smith'd on my flight from SAN to DTW!
3.) How was your trip? My arm is still numb from getting Kevin Smith'd all the way from Dallas, what a faceboo-hooer.
by stinkbuttboy February 17, 2010