Definitions by matterri

Hairy Pear 

An extra hairy pear-shaped testicle sac. Usually noticed during close inspection via sex partners.

Ellie: “I hooked-up with Jay last night. Saw him at the club, we had a good time, so I followed him home.”
Jen: “How was it?”
Ellie: “Weird. While we were 69ing, he thrusted up and smacked me in the eye with his Hairy Pear.

Jen: “Ouch!”

Hairy Pear by matterri October 8, 2017

Turd Lock 

Being constipated due to being forced to hold back to keep from shitting your pants... And class just started.

Not to be confused with "Vapor Lock "

Louis: Hey Jason! What do you say about going out, have a beer or two?

Jason: I can't tonight. I got horrible stomach cramps because I was afraid I would "Shart" in gym class. I think I held it a little too long and now I have a "turd lock"."

Turd Lock by matterri April 23, 2017

Favorite Turd 

Someone you wouldn't tell a lie to, no matter how far-fetched the story may be.

Jason: I hooked up with Miss Kramer, our old teacher from sixth grade!

Barry: No fucking way dude! You gotta be shittin me.

Jason: I wouldn't shit you brah. You're my favorite turd.

Favorite Turd by matterri September 22, 2016

Curtain Call 

Discovering not long after leaving the bathroom from dropping a hot, steamy "deuce" that you're not quite done yet. Kinda like how grunting out a monster turd opens the floodgates.

John: "Okay, Let's head out and grab a beer."

Jason: "Hold up. I gotta hit the Thunderdome."

John: "You were just in there for like 10 minutes dude!"

Jason: "Yeah, I know. I gotta make a Curtain Call."

Curtain Call by matterri September 13, 2016

Survivor Lunch

The act of scrounging the pantry, the frig or the seat cushions in order to find enough morsels to make up a meal. Based on the popular television show.

Man, potted meat, Vienna sausages and a half a pack of Ramen. We need to get some cash, these Survivor Lunches are killing me!

Survivor Lunch by matterri August 6, 2010