[e-mail]'s definitions

traffic jam

A great excuse to get an oral while driving.

I couldn't wait for the next traffic jam up ahead, I was so horny with my woman in the car.

by [e-mail] March 16, 2008

Bobby Knight

One of the winniest coaches in college basketbal history and one of its most controversial. He was the head coach at Indiana University for over 20 years and had numerous reports of alleged abuse toward players, staff and reporters. He is notorious for his outbursts of temper and red sweaters to match his face when the referees made a bad call against his team. One of Knight's most famous incidents involved throwing a chair onto the floor during a free throw shot resulting from a technical foul. His demise came in 2000 after a "final warning" issued by IU President, Miles Brand reagarding a videotap of Knight allegedly choking a player during practice. Later, a student at Indiana University allegedly made a sarcastic remark to Knight which resulted in his firing after reports surfaced accusing him of putting his hands on the student. Knight was fired in September of 2000 and is now head coach at Texas Tech University in Lubbock.

Bobby Knight has a serious temper problem and should be on medication. I love the guy.

by [e-mail] August 3, 2007

politician

Someone who has never spent 1 minute in the real world and only knows what's best for him and his friends, but never for regular working-class people. Can turn a once honest person with character and integrity into one who has perfected dishonesty and corruption. They fake compassion and persuade you how much they “care” for you to gain your trust, in order to get votes and keep power. Once in office, they feed off your ignorance and fear. They then believe the laws they pass do not apply to them. Their conscience eventually becomes seared by money from lobbyists and corporations. They begin to arrogantly believe your hard-earned tax dollars belong to them, so they can wastefully spend it. The more they waste and mismanage your money, the more your taxes increase. They then convince you there is no money left to run the system (due to their mismanagement) and raise your taxes again as a result of their incompetence. In the middle of the night, they pat themselves on the back for their incompetence and vote themselves a payraise (when doing nothing to earn one). Their payraises result in more taxes. A politician then becomes a blood-thirsty vampire for your money, giving them even more power. A politician then makes more laws to completely control your life by invading your privacy, invading your home, invading your bedroom, invading your computer, invading the church, invading your car and telling you what you can't do with your own body. A politician then wants total control of your life and wants you to be completely dependant on them by promising you unrealistic and expensive handouts. A politician does not believe in solving problems, because they ARE the problem and if the problem was solved, there would be no issue. Therefore they only put a bandaid on a broken system or “mortal wound” they have caused by either shoving the problem under the rug for later or throwing more wasted money at it. The worse the problems get, the lazier and arrogant they become. An incompetent politician is usually a “one-worlder” who no longer believes in American autonomy and wants the United States to be under the control of even more incompetent and politically-correct organizations like the U.N., NATO, or NAFTA. Politicians are such predators that they even throw your money away to corrupt 3rd world countries, who hate us and always will.

A politician’s lingo:

A tax increase = “I’ve mismanaged and wasted your money and need more to waste.”

A politician is a elite, rich, blood-thirsty, greedy, arrogant, corrupt, out-of-touch, incompetent person who wants COMPLETE control of you and every aspect of your life, while giving themselves every freedom under the sun to ignore their own laws they pass. They often have the audacity to proclaim themselves a “public servant” to the same public they screw.

by [e-mail] December 29, 2007

serial monogamy

A practice by which a person experiences a large number of short-lived romantic relationships or "flings." Those engaged in this practice probably have had numerous sexual partners but have not engaged in cheating or infideloutous behavior.

People engaged in serial monogamy use it as a tool to avoid marriage and any other long term commitments and could be labeled "commitment phobes."

by [e-mail] August 3, 2007

Northern Virginia

The area of the Commonwealth of Virginia, with about 3 million people or so next to Washington DC, that should to do the rest of Virginia a favor and seceed to Maryland. It's an urban hell on earth and the epitome of urban sprawl gone ammock. Unlike the rest of Virginia, it is generally liberal, highly diverse, highly urbanized, a ridiculous cost of living, has ungodly traffic congestion, too much urban sprawl, a highly skilled and young workforce, and too many arrogant yuppies who live close to DC. The most jobs are in the Federal Government, high-tech firms, healthcare, law, and communications. Asians and Hispanics live everywhere. As much as Northern Virginia sucks, the best places to live are in Centerville, Chantilly and Leesburg. The people are very materialistic, fake, shallow, stuck up and think the country revolves around them. There is a megamall called Tyson’s Corner near the 495 Beltway that only rich people are allowed to patronize, and the regular middle-class ilk are mocked. The people are up in the clouds and often forget they are SOUTH of the Mason-Dixon line and part of the old Confederacy. It is northern Virginia that gives the state a bad name.

Northern Virginia should do the rest of the Commonwealth a favor and become Maryland. I lived there for a year about 3 years ago and hated everything about it.

by [e-mail] March 27, 2008

Minnesota

The Land of 10,000 lakes. The Gopher State. The Siberia of the United States. A cold state of the Upper Midwest/Great Lakes region bounded by Wisconsin, Iowa and the Dakotas. Its location in the Upper Midwest makes it similar to Wisconsin and, unfortunately, Michigan. Minnesota is frequently considered one of the best, most progressive states in the country. Its 5 million residents (21st in population) are blessed with a good economy, good education and some of the country’s best schools, high literacy, and good healthcare with generally healthy people (Rochester is home to the Mayo Clinic), but embraces liberal politics it considers “progressive.” As a result, it is the most tax burdened state in the country--Minnesota never met a tax it didn't like. The capital is Saint Paul and the largest city is its twin, Minneapolis (370,000), to the west. The Minneapolis-St. Paul Metro Area has about 3-million people and is 60% of the state’s population. Minneapolis is a college town and home to the University of Minnesota. The Mall of America is located in nearby Bloomington. Other population centers include include Duluth and Rochester

Minnesota is much like its regional states and notorious for its long and brutal winters, numerous lakes and plenty of opportunities to get out an enjoy nature. Many Minnesotans like to do ice sculptures, sled, ski, ice fishing, and go snowmobiling during the long winter. Many “downstate” Minnesotans in the Twin Cities region have vacations homes in the north that they frequent in the summer. Its 5 million residents are descendants of Nordic Europeans with funny, northern accents that resemble a dialect heard in Michigan, Wisconsin and Canada. Minnesotans are conservative by nature, but politically liberal. It is a major “blue” state and frequently supports Democrats in national elections. The stereotypical Minneosta demeanor is called “Minnesota nice” to connote a sort of smiling stubbornness, forced politeness, false humility or passive hostility, but not necessarily haughty. For example, they use word “different” to refer to inferiority. Minnesotans know their state is considered among the progressive in the country, but don’t usually boast about it.

Minnesota is the HQ to several large, well known companies like Northwest Airlines (Eagan), Target, 3M, Best Buy and General Mills. It is the birthplace of Judy Garland, Hubert Humphrey, Laura Ingalls-Wilder, Ernest Hemingway, Garrison Keillor, Jessie “the body” Ventura (who was also Governor at one point), Jessica Biel, that idiot Al Franken, Winona Ryder, and Vince Vaughn.

Minnesota is a progressive state to live in with a good quality of life, but dang is it cold.

by [e-mail] April 29, 2008

New England Patriots

A classless and arrogant NFL team who represents the New England Region and play their games in Foxboro, Massachusettes because they do not wish to be associated with the Boston area or the rest of Massachusettes. This is typical because they have the worst fans in the League, even if they are loyal. They are sore winners AND sore losers. They mock teams win they win and mock them when they lose. The Patriots and their fans believe they are entitled to win EVERY game. When they lose, they create all kinds of whiny little excuses including accusing the other team of "cheating," the referees cheating, the sound from the crowd being too loud to hear the calls (especially when playing in a dome), communications being interupted, etc. The team refuses to take responsibility for losing a game and believe they are entitled to win it all. The Patriots have been fined in the past for cheating and videotaping other teams making their plays. They are Classless with a capital-C and not as good or sportsmenlike as they come across. Getting 3 Super Bowls doesn't mean class.

The New England Patriots are the most classless team in the NFL with classless fans to follow, who will mock ANY team they beat.

by [e-mail] November 27, 2007