[e-mail]'s definitions

government

A stupid system invented by stupid people for stupid people run by stupid people voted into office by even stupider people.

Government is stupid, but a necessary evil to maintain civility and order.

by [e-mail] April 10, 2008

reality

In the United States, it's anything outside San Francisco.

Reality is a state of mind, except in San Francisco where it is not present.

by [e-mail] December 27, 2007

Spring Break

A time of the year (usually in Mar or Apr) when college students from the northern states go to the sunbelt to bask in the beaches, beer, bods and booty. The biggest destinations are probably Cancun, Cabo San Lucas, Panama City and Miami Beach.

For guys its a time of waiting to meet a hot chick and score with her a few hours later after she gets drunk. For the ladies, they put on their bathing suit and hope to meet a hot guy, hoping he's not filming you for Girls Gone Wild.

Spring Break is usually so wild and so debaucherous that its primary sponsors should be Valtrex and Trojan.

by [e-mail] March 18, 2009

Detroit Lions

An NFL team that has a God-given talent for knowing how to lose games. They ALWAYS find a way to lose after leading in the fourth quarter. A rival team to the Chicago Bears and Green Bay Packers.

The Detroit Lions are probably the best of the worst teams in the NFL.

by [e-mail] August 21, 2007

urban sprawl

When formerly rural areas are threatened by the encroachment of urban areas. Happens when people move and commute further and further away from the city, soon to be followed by strip malls, Walmart, cookie-cutter housing developments and SUVS driven by soccer moms and corporate fatcats. Some people complain that it also causes higher taxes, higher crime and pollution.

Urban sprawl happens near every city of reasonable size but occurs the fastest in the Sun Belt. Urban sprawl is addressed in the song "They Paved Paradise and Put Up a Parking Lot."

by [e-mail] January 13, 2008

Rust Belt

An area of the United States stretching from the Great Lakes to New England that has seen numerous plant closings and job losses in heavy manufacturing over the past several decades. It includes the states of Michigan, far NW Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, New York and perhaps parts of New England. The demise of the steel and auto industries has caused the biggest headaches for the area. The steel industry has been faced with tough competition from overseas markets. The situation is similar for the auto industry, except labor unions and foreign competition in auto sales have been the reason for the job losses at the "Big 3," as plants close or layoff numerous workers for cheaper labor in Mexico. The state of Michigan, especially the Detroit area has seen the most job losses in the country, thanks to the challenges of the auto industry. Much of Ohio, Western Pennsylvania and Western New York State have been hit especially hard. Detroit and Pittsburgh are the epitomes of the Rust Belt.

I used to live in the Rust Belt, but had to move out because I found a decent job.

by [e-mail] November 24, 2007

Northwest Airlines

The absolute worst airline in the world to fly known for bad customer service. They treat their passengers like crap and overcharge for lowsy service. You have to pay for just making a reservation itself, for a soda, pillows, blankets, to check in your bag and almost to even use the toilet. When asked by an employee to help you, they role their eyes and speak in a condescending manner. When your trip is over they stick a broomstick up your ass and tell you to beat it.

The carrier is the 5th largest in the U.S. and is headquartered in the Minneapolis-St. Paul area. It has major hubs in Detroit, Memphis and Amsterdam with focus cities in Seattle, Los Angeles, New York, Indianapolis, Washington DC and Boston.

Northwest Airlines is disgusting but I will only fly them when I have to.

by [e-mail] August 5, 2007