jfburke619's definitions

fofa

FOFA is short for 'festival of fucking around'. Is used when there is excessive stupidity around relatively simple tasks resulting more responsible parties having to wait for the idiots in the room to settle down.

Bob - I thought that you and the missus were going grocery shopping?
Jim - We were but first she could not find her keys, then she spilled coffee on her blouse and then the dog ran away...
Bob - Sounds like a non-stop festival of fucking around.
Jim - Pure FOFA, 24/7.

by jfburke619 May 29, 2016

Type D Personality

Type A personalities are driven. Type D personalities are driven to be difficult (or dick-ish). They go out of their way to make others lives difficult.

Mary "Why did Bob soak the pacifier in vinegar?"
Betty "No good reason... he is a pure type D personality."

by jfburke619 August 21, 2018

soccer drama

When relatively minor offense or injury causes an enormous amount of protest and commotion.

A male counterpart for drama queen. Something that a crybaby or fake may engage in.

Helen - Do we need to call 911? Joe sounds really hurt.
John - Don't worry, it is only a paper cut.
Helen - Got it. He is always good for a little soccer drama.

by jfburke619 October 22, 2015

temple of consumption

The shopping mall where the ardent consumers go to worship their god... material goods.

Bob - you watching the game today?
Bill - no can do, the missus is going shopping so I will be living in exile at the temple of consumption.
Bob - sorry to hear it... we will have fun without you.

by jfburke619 December 15, 2013

Pooping presidential

When you a take a shit that is so robust that it takes more than three flushes to get down the drain. A deferential reference to Donald Trumps lament that you need to flush more than once.

In the men's room at work -

Bob - I thought that the toilet was broken when I heard it flush three times in a row

Bill - Toilet is fine. I was pooping presidential.

by jfburke619 June 12, 2025

Faux Mex

Overly fancy Mexican fusion cuisine. Often found in high end neighborhoods of big cities

Him - How about Mexican tonight?
Her - We could eat at La Perla...
Him - Fuck that, no self respecting caballero would eat a lobster and prime rib burrito - that shit is faux mex.
Her - Then we should head to La Cantina for a bucket of Pacifico and beef and bean burritos.
Him - Nice call.

by jfburke619 October 13, 2012

autoesthetic exercise

This is when you cut your own hair for whatever reason. Cutting your own hair is more common now that we are all social distancing. The resulting product often leaves something to be desired when compared to a professional haircut.

Bob: Did you see Fred's haircut? It looks like someone missed a spot in the back.
Jeff: Obvious autoesthetic exercise on his part.
Bob: It looks like he got that haircut in prison.

Bill: I really miss my barber and professional haircuts.
Jane: Why so?
Bill: When I do an autoesthetic exercise, the top and sides are easy but the back of my head and neck are iffy.

Jane: You are right... your neck looks like you have a built in scarf.

by jfburke619 March 30, 2021