11 definitions by jfburke619
This is when you cut your own hair for whatever reason. Cutting your own hair is more common now that we are all social distancing. The resulting product often leaves something to be desired when compared to a professional haircut.
Bob: Did you see Fred's haircut? It looks like someone missed a spot in the back.
Jeff: Obvious autoesthetic exercise on his part.
Bob: It looks like he got that haircut in prison.
Bill: I really miss my barber and professional haircuts.
Jane: Why so?
Bill: When I do an autoesthetic exercise, the top and sides are easy but the back of my head and neck are iffy.
Jane: You are right... your neck looks like you have a built in scarf.
Jeff: Obvious autoesthetic exercise on his part.
Bob: It looks like he got that haircut in prison.
Bill: I really miss my barber and professional haircuts.
Jane: Why so?
Bill: When I do an autoesthetic exercise, the top and sides are easy but the back of my head and neck are iffy.
Jane: You are right... your neck looks like you have a built in scarf.
by jfburke619 March 30, 2021
FOFA is short for 'festival of fucking around'. Is used when there is excessive stupidity around relatively simple tasks resulting more responsible parties having to wait for the idiots in the room to settle down.
Bob - I thought that you and the missus were going grocery shopping?
Jim - We were but first she could not find her keys, then she spilled coffee on her blouse and then the dog ran away...
Bob - Sounds like a non-stop festival of fucking around.
Jim - Pure FOFA, 24/7.
Jim - We were but first she could not find her keys, then she spilled coffee on her blouse and then the dog ran away...
Bob - Sounds like a non-stop festival of fucking around.
Jim - Pure FOFA, 24/7.
by jfburke619 April 25, 2016
The place some piece of electronic communications resides between sending and receiving. Usually only noteworthy when the delay is pronounced.
Wilma: Why did not not answer my text? Dino was choking!
Fred: I never got a text from you.
Wilma: Bullshit, show me your phone!
Fred takes out phone and shows recent texts with none from from Wilma...
Wilma: My text must be stuck in the e-taint.
Fred: I never got a text from you.
Wilma: Bullshit, show me your phone!
Fred takes out phone and shows recent texts with none from from Wilma...
Wilma: My text must be stuck in the e-taint.
by jfburke619 September 12, 2018
A mullett is business in the front and party (or something else) in the back. Sideways Corona Mullett (or SCM) is when you work from home with business attire on the top and something not so business like on the bottom. It works for video conference calls as long as you do not get up.
Her: Aren't you working from home today? Why are you wearing pajama pants with a shirt and tie?
Him: Sideways Corona Mullett... no one is gonna see the pants.
Him: Why are you wearing sweats with your best blouse?
Her: SCM baby.
Him: We are cutting the laundry bill in half!
Him: Sideways Corona Mullett... no one is gonna see the pants.
Him: Why are you wearing sweats with your best blouse?
Her: SCM baby.
Him: We are cutting the laundry bill in half!
by jfburke619 March 30, 2020
Bob - you watching the game today?
Bill - no can do, the missus is going shopping so I will be living in exile at the temple of consumption.
Bob - sorry to hear it... we will have fun without you.
Bill - no can do, the missus is going shopping so I will be living in exile at the temple of consumption.
Bob - sorry to hear it... we will have fun without you.
by jfburke619 December 15, 2013
When relatively minor offense or injury causes an enormous amount of protest and commotion.
A male counterpart for drama queen. Something that a crybaby or fake may engage in.
A male counterpart for drama queen. Something that a crybaby or fake may engage in.
Helen - Do we need to call 911? Joe sounds really hurt.
John - Don't worry, it is only a paper cut.
Helen - Got it. He is always good for a little soccer drama.
John - Don't worry, it is only a paper cut.
Helen - Got it. He is always good for a little soccer drama.
by jfburke619 September 5, 2015
Someone whose intellectual capacity is limited to brain stem functions. Usually results in very short-sighted and selfish decisions.
"I feel bad for Bob, his life is one problem after another"
"Face it, he is a stemmie. He could not make a good decision to save his life."
"Face it, he is a stemmie. He could not make a good decision to save his life."
by jfburke619 May 2, 2012