jamfsob's definitions

gaffa tape and paper bag job

a woman who has a really gorgeous body but who has a dodgy voice and a minging face so the only way you can bring yourself to fuck her is if you stick gaffa tape (duct tape) over her mouth and a paper bag on her head

scary spice

by jamfsob August 6, 2003

stranger wank

masturbation. But you sit on your hands first until they are numb and then it feels like someone else is doing it for you.

members of bowling for soup are always "Going for the stranger"

by jamfsob August 12, 2003

Spladgem

Vaginal juices, also known as fanny spladgem. Slightly onomatopaeic as if the woman is wet enough,spladgem is reminiscent of the noise when you enter

Sarah was sat on my lap with no knickers on and when she got up, I was left with Fanny Spladgem all down my leg

by jamfsob August 12, 2003

danger wank

masturbating, but in such a way that you are very likely to get caught.
Increasing the thrill by trying to finish cranking one off before you are caught

Geoff, fancying a danger wank, stood in his mum's bathroom,leaving the door open, grasped his throbbing member and shouted "Mum!"

by jamfsob August 12, 2003

spam purse

vagina, also known as vag, slit, gash, lovegash, hole, fuck socket etc

Walking down the street you're the centre of my universe.
You've got the world in your pocket, my manhood locked in your (spam)purse

by jamfsob August 12, 2003

necropaedofelch

see paedonecrofelch

I used to be a necropaedofelcher, until some rotten little ass split on me

by jamfsob August 6, 2003

blood bullet

a tampon

I need some blood bullets, my knickers are absolutely soaked!

by jamfsob August 13, 2003