honneamise's definitions

imds

IMDS or Internal Motion Dynamics in Security is a descriptive acronym, defined as the North-South and East-West traversal of data in a network when compromised by a hacker (someone who has smuna). Recently a large sports device manufacturer was hacked by a smuna sufferer and the hacker deployed retarded semen syndrome into the network, utilising IMDS techniques. It is clear that the person who coined the North-South and East-West paradigms, rather than the correct acronym, suffers from smuna as well and should be shot.

We have been hacked, deploy the anti IMDS beacon!
When we tested cracking our network, it turned out that IMDS techniques could be used to inject retarded semen syndrome into the network

by honneamise May 20, 2024

beta key

The beta key is the one key to rule them all. It unlocks games like Dragon Ball D. It has powers beyond the power of a normal key, like your front door key. It can cure cancer. It can get you a blow job from a nerd in a dark alley. It can solve world peace. It can also unlock the nuclear codes from the United States and wipe out all of North Korea. But it primary purpose is for hanging shit on people who havent got the beta key. Because its so incredibly awesome and unlocks games like Dragon Ball D

How come you havent got a beta key? You suck!

Ive inserted the beta key and Im letting the nukes go now Don, which site was it again?

by honneamise October 29, 2018

semen syndrome

As has been scientifically proven in the past, semen is good for you. Unfortunately, like all things, it must be taken in moderation. An overloading of the system can cause semen syndrome. Usual symptoms include being skinny, having large intake valves (mouth, nose, ears), irritability, occasional 'colds' (pretending to be sick for normal people) and a general bad nature about their person. Semen syndrome can be treated very easily by not sucking off homeless guys for money and taking dicks in the arse from strangers.

You know {insert name} who is always sick? I think he has semen syndrome

Patient: What is it doc?
Doctor: You have semen syndrome, its written all over your lips

by honneamise October 10, 2018

spreading the data

Spreading The Data or STD, as per the Acronym App is a method of ensuring that data stored on a network of servers, is not logically stored, but rather spread around for redundancy. The main issue with spreading the data, or STD, is that it does not usually involve spreading the data in replicated format, but rather random chunks of data, meaning in the event of failure, it means you lose some data, but not all the data. This is a technique employed by IT technicians with smuna. It invariably leads to hair loss, high stress levels and in severe cases, yelling at technicians for being stupid. If you encounter STD, report it to the relevant authorities and then hunt down the person doing it and kill them immediately.

The configs are everywhere, they must have been spreading the data

by honneamise April 13, 2021

JSM

JSM or Job Security Measure is used by IT professionals everywhere to ensure they don't become irrelevant. It was made famous by a particular IT professional in the late 80s when he foresaw the coming Cloud and realised the only way forward was to become extremely relevant. His resulting piece of work, JSM for People Who Haven't Got A. Clue, is the defining document on how to avoid becoming irrelevant. Many IT professionals the world over, with no time to waste investing in training and certification have often found this book on JSM to be the way out of being intelligent

That was a terrific JSM you deployed on the network, very smart.
My boss used a JSM to shore up the next three years of his career, very impressive work
Every time I hear someone has used a JSM, I want to find them, dunk them in a vat of oil, torch them till there is nothing left, then feed there JSM fuelled remains to a flock of seagulls high on acid

by honneamise March 9, 2020

retardicus maximus

the rare and defined retard that is enormous in size and has Super Mega Ultra Nuclear AIDS

Good morning Retardicus Maximus
Hi Retardicus maximus
You suck Retardicus maximus

by honneamise May 24, 2018

joelstal

The process of going postal, but only due to the fact you are named Joel. if you are named Joel, and go postal, you go Joelstal. Normally, going postal is bad, but when you go Joelstal its mildly entertaining because its like watching flies have sex with shit. After they have been smashed in the head with a stubby and they have been beaten senseless by a Tibetan Monk who thinks that flies deserve to die. Essentially, when a Joelstal is encountered, you do not have to fear for your life, as no weapons will be used, because they would require skill, instead, merely point and laugh, because everyone thinks Joelstals are funny.

that guy has gone fucking Joelstal!!!

by honneamise October 23, 2018