goose_on_a_roof's definitions

Goose Waffle

The goose droppings that dry up and fall off the soles of your hiking boots after a walk in the field.

"Who left the goose waffles in the hallway? Everyone check your feet."

by goose_on_a_roof September 19, 2012

wizz-bang

when something meets with an unfortunate demise or the sound made when this occurs

“I twisted the dilly-doo until the thingy lined up with the whosie-whatsit and wouldn’t ya know it. The dingus got all gashnitzed and gashnizzled and the jobby-joo went wizz-bang out the back. Please forgive me if I’m getting too technical for you. It’s just that I’ve been workin’ in the doojigger biz since I was knee-high to a whatchamacallit and I rarely interact with you civilians.”

by goose_on_a_roof October 15, 2020

google

(original definition)

verb

to throw a girl to the ground and tickle her until she pees (or pukes)

This was practiced by fraternities in northeastern colleges during the 1940’s prior to the advent of the panty raid.

“Brother Harold, you are to google Muffy Berenson until sufficiently soiled.”

by goose_on_a_roof March 29, 2022

Waning Mullet

a man’s hairstyle that is bald on the top but with long stringy hair hanging over the collar in the back (elderhostel up front, party in the back)

This is a modification of the 80’s mullet. It is worn by the diehard that refuses to give up the long hair that he sported back in high school.

Bob: Did you see Jim Rickards on Fox Business talking about the demise of the US Dollar?
Dave: Is that the guy with the waning mullet?
Bob: Yeah, that’s him.

by goose_on_a_roof December 31, 2020

flatusidal tendencies

a disorder whereby a person has recurring thoughts about breaking wind in crowded and, often times, confined places (This is a dangerous situation in which the person in question is on the verge of becoming a sphincter Sinatra if he/she does not receive professional help or, at the very least, a bitch slap by his/her friends.)

Paratrooper: Sarge, I know it’s not the time but I keep thinking about plantin’ some onion.
Jumpmaster: GOT DAMN IT!!! Ya better at-ease those flatusidal tendencies or I’ll toss your goat-smellin’ ass off this bird right now, green light or not.

by goose_on_a_roof October 16, 2020

pounding

To eat or drink (Often times this denotes eating/drinking fast but this is not always the case.)

Usage:
"I gotta squat for a jiffy wiz in The Gran Manzana and I've been head sparkin’ ‘bout pounding that Coney fillet in a twee fire-in-the-hole.
The dewclaws are up. Ya wanna draft my flivver?
Bang the pipes by 5:00 or hold peace.”

Translation:
"I’ve got a layover in New York City and was thinking about getting a hotdog in a quaint restaurant.
I’m enthusiastic. Do you want to come along?
Call me by 5:00 or it will be too late."

by goose_on_a_roof October 16, 2020

unicorn fart in the wind

noun

1. an undeveloped idea

2. an idea that is not grounded in reality

3. an ill conceived plan that has no chance of coming to fruition

4. something that does not exist in the real, or physical, world

Geezer: …so this “crypto currency”, as you call it, which doesn’t exist in any physical form, is going to revolutionize the way the world transacts business?
Millennial: Yes…exactly.
Geezer: That’s just a unicorn fart in the wind.

by goose_on_a_roof March 27, 2022