goose_on_a_roof's definitions
past tense form of the verb “snork” which means to spit a jackfruit seed into a tuba from the balcony of the Metropolitan Opera (Needless to say, this term doesn’t see a whole lot of foot traffic.)
It was ‘96 when a crazy Aussie from Poowong North, Vic was challenged by his mates to spit a melon seed into a tuba from the balcony of the Metropolitan Opera on his upcoming junket to NYC. After practicing for weeks, spitting into a bucket from a eucalyptus tree, he asked for one allowance. The melon seed didn’t have sufficient heft to go the estimated distance. He was granted the use of a jackfruit seed. He then honed his skill until he had the precision of a sniper, “one shot, one kill”. On the night of the event, he and his wife (referee) took their seats nearest the stage on the third balcony. He sat through Giordano’s “Andrea Chenier” biding his time, waiting for just the right moment to do the deed and slink off into the night without being caught. The moment came at the very end of the performance when the audience cheered in appreciation for the talents of Pavarotti. He hurled that jackfruit seed with all the power he could generate from his manbag and then doubled over in a feigned hacking fit to disguise his action while his wife followed it to its intended target…and bingo! There have been no other “known” attempts. “Snorking” was never used until his triumphant return to Poowong North when one of his mates coined the term while fumbling through a toast in his honor.
It was ‘96 when a crazy Aussie from Poowong North, Vic was challenged by his mates to spit a melon seed into a tuba from the balcony of the Metropolitan Opera on his upcoming junket to NYC. After practicing for weeks, spitting into a bucket from a eucalyptus tree, he asked for one allowance. The melon seed didn’t have sufficient heft to go the estimated distance. He was granted the use of a jackfruit seed. He then honed his skill until he had the precision of a sniper, “one shot, one kill”. On the night of the event, he and his wife (referee) took their seats nearest the stage on the third balcony. He sat through Giordano’s “Andrea Chenier” biding his time, waiting for just the right moment to do the deed and slink off into the night without being caught. The moment came at the very end of the performance when the audience cheered in appreciation for the talents of Pavarotti. He hurled that jackfruit seed with all the power he could generate from his manbag and then doubled over in a feigned hacking fit to disguise his action while his wife followed it to its intended target…and bingo! There have been no other “known” attempts. “Snorking” was never used until his triumphant return to Poowong North when one of his mates coined the term while fumbling through a toast in his honor.
Orchestra member: Say, Bob…I noticed that you missed that high note in the last stanza.
Bob: Yeah, I got snorked again.
Bob: Yeah, I got snorked again.
by goose_on_a_roof October 13, 2022
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"I gotta squat for a jiffy wiz in The Gran Manzana and I've been head sparkin’ ‘bout pounding that Coney fillet in a twee fire-in-the-hole.
The dewclaws are up. Ya wanna draft my flivver?
Bang the pipes by 5:00 or hold peace.”
Translation:
"I’ve got a layover in New York City and was thinking about getting a hotdog in a quaint restaurant.
I’m enthusiastic. Do you want to come along?
Call me by 5:00 or it will be too late."
"I gotta squat for a jiffy wiz in The Gran Manzana and I've been head sparkin’ ‘bout pounding that Coney fillet in a twee fire-in-the-hole.
The dewclaws are up. Ya wanna draft my flivver?
Bang the pipes by 5:00 or hold peace.”
Translation:
"I’ve got a layover in New York City and was thinking about getting a hotdog in a quaint restaurant.
I’m enthusiastic. Do you want to come along?
Call me by 5:00 or it will be too late."
by goose_on_a_roof October 9, 2020
Get the Head Sparkin’ mug.Coworker: I've got a potential customer on line 2 for you.
Response: What are the perts?
Coworker: It's a woman named Josephine Dokes. She's got an afghan hound and she saw our ad for the no-tangle pet comb.
Response: What are the perts?
Coworker: It's a woman named Josephine Dokes. She's got an afghan hound and she saw our ad for the no-tangle pet comb.
by goose_on_a_roof February 28, 2018
Get the perts mug.A brunette
Dude: Scope those curvacious maidens. I’ll pounce the coal top with the bouncing betties. What’s your ruling on the blonde?
Wingman: The dewclaws are up.
Wingman: The dewclaws are up.
by goose_on_a_roof October 8, 2020
Get the Coal Top mug.Waitress 1: I just cleaned that window. How did it get so splotched up?
Waitress 2: ...the floss archer over there. He got me in the eye when I refreshed his coffee.
Waitress 2: ...the floss archer over there. He got me in the eye when I refreshed his coffee.
by goose_on_a_roof August 9, 2021
Get the Floss Archer mug.a person with horrendously smelly farts (as he floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee. This is derived from “Cassius Clay” which is the birth name of the famed boxer Muhammad Ali.)
"SWEET MOTHER OF GOD!!! What is that smell? Whoa, you’re a regular Gaseous Clay. Alright, I throw in the towel. Now help me back on my feet, would ya?"
by goose_on_a_roof October 11, 2020
Get the Gaseous Clay mug.A cute little girl to w’et your…err, um… appetite (derived from the French term of the same name meaning: a small appetizer as served, usually without a charge, in a restaurant)
"Dude, I know ya love those knee-shootin’ yabos but there’s such a thing as too big. Now take that little amuse-bouche. That quasar has got a nice set of perts."
by goose_on_a_roof October 9, 2020
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