Definitions by gnostic3

polargeist

n. Evil spirt who haunts igloos and other dwellings in the far north.

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My blubber is stuck to the ceiling. Again.

Sounds like you have a polargeist. Be afraid.

polargeist by gnostic3 February 6, 2019

muffin day 

n. Any day on which a delectable baked item or three elevates your mood.

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What up bro? You was down. Now you up. You on the pipe again?

No man. It's a muffin day. Hear them squirrels sing?

You on the pipe again.

muffin day by gnostic3 February 6, 2019

bower 

n. Combination of a quick cold bath then a hot shower. Often touted as a hangover cure.

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You look horrible! Better ease your flesh out of bed, grab a quick bower, and get over to the hill. Your State of the Union address is in an hour.

Fake News! SAD!! I look good. Hansomest office holder ever. Only drink soda.

bower by gnostic3 February 6, 2019

jerseyphile 

n. Person who wears a sports jersey because of the colors or logo, not because he loves or understands the team or the sport.

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Great game eh? O'Connor deked wide on the power play then went five hole!

What? Five what? Oh I see. It's this shirt right. I'm more of a jerseyphile than a soccer nut.

Hockey nut.

Whatever.

jerseyphile by gnostic3 February 6, 2019

pringle 

v. To twist, shrivel, or bend from a flat uniform discoid shape into something resembling a deformed potato chip.

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Am I seeing this right! Tell me you did not just pringle my bicycle wheel!

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Jen’s umbilical hernia recurred when her mesh pringled due to a chronic Yersinia infection.

pringle by gnostic3 February 4, 2019

cellie 

n. A brief show of triumphant celebration by a someone scoring a goal, a touchdown, or a few grams of cocaine.

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Sweet goal dude! Your deke stickside totally flat-skated their overly-padded behemoth.

Thanks. But what About my cellie? Too dirivatory?

Perhaps a little less fanny wiggling next time.

cellie by gnostic3 January 31, 2019

Red Deer curling

v. Flinging heavy granite stones about while solidly drunk.

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Four more beer and I am going to put a bonspiel on my head and do me some Red Deer curling.

Red Deer curling by gnostic3 January 29, 2019