gnostic3's definitions

whoresplash

n. Like a slutwipe but briefer. One attempts to wash one’s smelliest areas after a long arduous day of hiking in the wilderness and setting up camp many miles from soap, water, and privacy. Usually done in a sleeping bag at minus forty degrees.

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What are you up to Tyler? The tent is in danger of collapse!

Just having a whoresplash. I like to feel fresh before bed.

by gnostic3 May 11, 2024

mermazing

adj. Totally, absolutely wonderful! Like a sparkly mermaid riding a unicorn (sidesaddle of course).

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Where did you get the free tail?

Unicorn Sleepaway Camp. It was totally mermazing!

by gnostic3 July 19, 2019

koalified

adj. Aussie expression for a Veterinarian, or any other semi-professional bloke, who has passed all his exams and is able to leave University, or the Perth College of Sheep-dipping as the case may be, and inflict himself, or herdself, upon the world.

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G’day Bruce! Heard, or should I say ‘Herd’ , you have koalified at last! How soon ‘til the local jumpbucks face yer clobber and start feeling the gentle touch of your tar brush on their tender spots?

by gnostic3 December 18, 2025

buttercupper

n. Someone whose deep love sends them to extreme LENGTHS.

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Why did you quit the freestyle skiing team to spend more quality time with your wife? You were sure to medal at the Olympics.

I guess I'm just a buttercupper.

by gnostic3 December 27, 2014

liverty

n. Freedom to destroy one’s liver with copious amounts of alcohol.

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Give me liverty or give me death. Or both!!

by gnostic3 December 20, 2021

masklaffers

n. People who deny the need for taking preventative measures in any field of endeavour.

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These steel fragments I take out of your corneas every week are not only painful for you but will eventually leave you sightless, unemployable, broke and homeless. Why not wear this free preventative mask?

I spit on your logic! And your “prevention”! I come from a long proud line of masklaffers and I have inherited their pride, their blind ignorance of logic and science and ...

And their guide dogs?

ESPECIALLY their guide dogs!

by gnostic3 May 8, 2021

real estate novelist

n. Person who aspires to leave their dreary life behind in order to attain a fulfilling artistic career. Often a lazy schizophrenic drunkard.

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Laugh if you want! I won’t always be a real estate novelist.

Another suture doctor?

Thanks nurse. Want to hear about my beehives?

No. Not really.

by gnostic3 April 19, 2022